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We're friends but we behave as a couple..? watch

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    Anon for obvious reasons! Friends and family on here.

    I'm really good friends with this guy and we end up spending a lot of time together. Recently though, its been as if we're a proper couple.. as in before we were cuddly with each other as well but now there's a significant change to where he touches me (nothing OTT! just like before his hands were always around my arms and now its more on my hips, stomach, etc) and theres other stuff too like just stroking, tickling and playing with my hair, smelling me, pulling me closer to him, calling me all the time.

    So basically, if anyone else would be an onlooker, it's like we're a couple. But at the same time, we're still simply friends.. as in he'll talk about who he likes with me and who he finds cute and all that stuff friends do and talk about. I'm not jealous but I do wonder whats going on his mind. I mean I don't understand why up things with me and then talk about others too. He could've just kept it like before and then continue talking like friends about crushes and all. So basically I'm confused.

    And to clarify, I don't have a thing for him; he's just a friend to me. The only reason I allow the affection is.. I'm happily single but I do miss affection and he just seems to fulfil the quota at the moment. So I know I don't have feelings for him.. I just want to know what's on his mind and I'm not in a position to ask. So just want some unbiased view.

    ps: I don't want him to think I allow the affection because I like him.. I get uncomfortable at the thought of people thinking I like them when I don't because I secondguess what I do and etc.. Should I just talk about random guys with him so that he doesn't get the wrong end of the stick or let things be and just act aloof ?
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    I hear you! But meh. Guys are weird like that. I've given up trying to understand what's going on in his mind to be honest....
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    Take a hint....
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    (Original post by Mr.Singh)
    Take a hint....
    that's an ambiguous answer. Don't know which way you mean.
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    Tough call, there is a thin line between getting the point across that you don't see him that way and coming across as an arrogant ***** for assuming he likes you that way...
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    Ask him if he ever **** about you, if so, then I think you can guess.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon for obvious reasons! Friends and family on here.

    I'm really good friends with this guy and we end up spending a lot of time together. Recently though, its been as if we're a proper couple.. as in before we were cuddly with each other as well but now there's a significant change to where he touches me (nothing OTT! just like before his hands were always around my arms and now its more on my hips, stomach, etc) and theres other stuff too like just stroking, tickling and playing with my hair, smelling me, pulling me closer to him, calling me all the time.

    So basically, if anyone else would be an onlooker, it's like we're a couple. But at the same time, we're still simply friends.. as in he'll talk about who he likes with me and who he finds cute and all that stuff friends do and talk about. I'm not jealous but I do wonder whats going on his mind. I mean I don't understand why up things with me and then talk about others too. He could've just kept it like before and then continue talking like friends about crushes and all. So basically I'm confused.

    And to clarify, I don't have a thing for him; he's just a friend to me. The only reason I allow the affection is.. I'm happily single but I do miss affection and he just seems to fulfil the quota at the moment. So I know I don't have feelings for him.. I just want to know what's on his mind and I'm not in a position to ask. So just want some unbiased view.

    ps: I don't want him to think I allow the affection because I like him.. I get uncomfortable at the thought of people thinking I like them when I don't because I secondguess what I do and etc.. Should I just talk about random guys with him so that he doesn't get the wrong end of the stick or let things be and just act aloof ?
    I would go for the talk about random guys, but make it genuine and subtle, act to him as he does to you. When one of you finds a partner though the other will miss the contact and it will make your relationship difficult. I've had similar problems in the past.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    that's an ambiguous answer. Don't know which way you mean.
    I obviously cant say, but I was like this with the girl I'm with. We were best friends when we were 15ish and for like a whole year we never 'got together' but it was the best feeling being around her and I loved doing everything that you said he does (ie holding hips, smelling hair...sounds :perv: ) but yeah and then we just ended up kissing and wanted to hang around all the time together, so inevitably we got together and it was the best decision of my life :yes: but i cant saay for ur situation, only you 2 know. Take it easy you have your whole life ahead of you x
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    (Original post by mr eko)
    Tough call, there is a thin line between getting the point across that you don't see him that way and coming across as an arrogant ***** for assuming he likes you that way...
    exactly! if i let it continue it could come back and bite me somehow but on the other hand, if i say something now all he has to do is say 'how could u think that when I tell you about all these other girls?'

    see what i mean when i say i dont know whats going on his head. .. the other issue is I dont really have a problem with all the affection either.. I don't want it to stop.. I just wana be in the know, I guess.
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    (Original post by Mr.Singh)
    I obviously cant say, but I was like this with the girl I'm with. We were best friends when we were 15ish and for like a whole year we never 'got together' but it was the best feeling being around her and I loved doing everything that you said he does (ie holding hips, smelling hair...sounds :perv: ) but yeah and then we just ended up kissing and wanted to hang around all the time together, so inevitably we got together and it was the best decision of my life :yes: but i cant saay for ur situation, only you 2 know. Take it easy you have your whole life ahead of you x
    see that makes sense! I mean I dont think you ended up randomly going on about other girls? With us, we are simply friends but then all of a sudden.. I don't get it :\
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    So basically, he is being touchy feely and extra friendly. You are allowing this. You have no interest in him whatsoever.

    .. I think do him a huge favour and stop leading him on (yes, even just by being passive is leading him on)! Whilst I'm sure you are loving the attention, it's not really fair on him.

    He obviously likes you more than a friend. Whether that is because he actually fancies you or because he is in a similar position to you.
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    Ask someone else to ask this lad if he likes you. That way you get your answer and your cover's not blown.
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    if you wanna know what he thinks about you then ask him... simple. or say sommert like "have you ever thort of us been bf,gf?" he says "yea...." then you say "woudnt it be weird"

    you really cant tell what it means when people are flirty... most the time its jus the person been nice to you coz they want you to like them. and then sometimes its a way of trying to get attenction from somebody they fancy and to get close too.

    so with your mate, he could jus be flirty coz he jus fancys a cudle coz you let him, or he may be planning on asking you out...lol
    Id guess in time you will see if he will ask you out.

    seen as you dont like him in a "relactionship way" i hope he dosent like you that way too, coz it can be weird if he fancys you.
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    possibly he has fallen for you and he discusses other girls to make you jealous and test your reaction. :p:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    see that makes sense! I mean I dont think you ended up randomly going on about other girls? With us, we are simply friends but then all of a sudden.. I don't get it :\
    I did that while we wern't going out, and from what i remeber i did it for a reaction of her. Usually it would get her attention and she would hug me ( or hit me :p: ) but later on I started realising she didn't 'seem' to care. This then started to bother me, then I started questioning OMG I really do like her...soo yeh dont over do it, but go with the floww man x
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    (Original post by candytreeman)
    So basically, he is being touchy feely and extra friendly. You are allowing this. You have no interest in him whatsoever.

    .. I think do him a huge favour and stop leading him on (yes, even just by being passive is leading him on)! Whilst I'm sure you are loving the attention, it's not really fair on him.

    He obviously likes you more than a friend. Whether that is because he actually fancies you or because he is in a similar position to you.
    But it's not me who has changed the behaviour? I'm still the same to him as I ever was. In fact, it could be argued he's leading me on because he doesn't know that I don't feel for him like that.. and then the way he's acting, imagine i did like him and then THUMP.. when he mentions about other girls. I get what you're saying too but rejecting the affection isn't exactly easy. :\
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But it's not me who has changed the behaviour? I'm still the same to him as I ever was. In fact, it could be argued he's leading me on because he doesn't know that I don't feel for him like that.. and then the way he's acting, imagine i did like him and then THUMP.. when he mentions about other girls. I get what you're saying too but rejecting the affection isn't exactly easy. :\
    That's just an excuse tbh. He isn't leading you on, because his actions probably have meaning behind them. You are giving him false hope though by not reprimanding him in the first place.

    I mean, if you were with someone and a friend started doing all that to you (touching you etc) you'd probably hit them.

    So, unless you're putting up with it because you actually do half like him (not just because you're lonely atm), put an end to it. He will just end up resenting you otherwise. And btw mentioning other girls is such an oooold way of testing someone's reaction.

    In simple terms, he has given you a sign, and you've reacted completely neutral. He is probably more confused than you atm.

    If you can't give him what he's after, then he needs to stop wasting his time and go after the other girls!
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    You've got two choices.

    If he's just friends - then feel free to experience the attention... I'd personally feel kind of weird that I'm soaking up the attention like that since it seems sort of... well... wrong.

    However if he does like you - Oh well. That's the end of it all. No more affection from this guy.

    Sounds like you don't want it to end, or that you hope he'll figure out and end it himself (while enjoying the current attention) but really it's only right to tell him if it is indeed the latter case.
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    Speak about the change in behaviour, otherwise someone (probably he) could end up getting hurt.

    Like Candytreeman is saying, by being passive you are essentially feeding any feelings he may have, so sort it out tbh.
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    Maybe you could be friends with benefits? ^ ^

    But I totally understand the whole affection without liking you thing, but seeing as you say your not bothered, don't worry about it just embrace it i guess, doesn't matter if it doesn't really mean anything at the end of the day... you both like the affection because your both single most probably. What are friends for after all? Who knows it could evolve into you too liking each other in the end
 
 
 
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