Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

We're friends but we behave as a couple..? Watch

    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I was in a similar situation. He was my best friend and I would let him be affectionate with me. I didn't mind him touching me, stroking me, lying on me etc even though I didn't fancy him in any way. Now looking back it was the wrong thing to do but at the time I just thought it was no big deal.
    He was in a relationship so I shouldn't have allowed it.

    If I could go back now I would just ask him if he wanted to be more then friends. Yes it may get awkward at first but then at least you know what he wants. Sometimes you just have to ask someone outright what they're thinking instead of trying to work it out yourself.

    Or you could just make it clear how you feel about him. Just let him know how you're not looking for a relationship and how you’re happy the way things are between you two or something. Be casual
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    If you do really like this friend (wether strictly as a friend or not) then you wouldnt lead him on just to satisfy your liking of such attention. If you want all the touchy stuff, then find a boyfriend and stop using your friend who possibly likes you more than that.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe he does it for the same reasons you allow it: He likes affection.

    He probably just upped the touchy-feeliness to see how far he could push it or to test your reaction (he might be doing this by talking about other girls too). As long as you know how you both feel in regards to a relationship with each other/a relationship with other people then there's no harm in giving each other a little TLC.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I do that too with this girl I know, but I'm gay. And this girl wants me. I'm a terrible person. :sexface:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Aww...**** buddies in the making! :cute:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    awww... feel for the guy!!!
    Whilst he could be just liking the affection, I doubt he would talk about other girls incase that stopped you acting affectionately with him
    So the liklihood is he's discovered he actually likes you, no mutual event causing it, just perhaps he was thinking about you one night and realised!
    So, I would make it clear that you are not feeling the same way as him and cool it... but it could work, I think friends can be extrodinarily happy as couples...
    I bet this is awful for him though...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    He wants to plough you and he seems like he's doing a decent job, so far.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    if you're happy with it then I think that's fine. as long as you don't lead him on you aren't doing anything wrong- and if he does like you, its up to him to say so.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    people seem to be implying he likes me.. if he does, then surely mentioning other people is a way to push someone away? or is that JUST the way I see it?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    If you were to confess that you liked him. Where would it go? Would he say he only sees you as a friend? For some reason... I don't think that's the case.

    He's probably assumed that you aren't that into him, but still wants to express his emotion. It's possible to like others too.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon for obvious reasons! Friends and family on here.

    I'm really good friends with this guy and we end up spending a lot of time together. Recently though, its been as if we're a proper couple.. as in before we were cuddly with each other as well but now there's a significant change to where he touches me (nothing OTT! just like before his hands were always around my arms and now its more on my hips, stomach, etc) and theres other stuff too like just stroking, tickling and playing with my hair, smelling me, pulling me closer to him, calling me all the time.

    So basically, if anyone else would be an onlooker, it's like we're a couple. But at the same time, we're still simply friends.. as in he'll talk about who he likes with me and who he finds cute and all that stuff friends do and talk about. I'm not jealous but I do wonder whats going on his mind. I mean I don't understand why up things with me and then talk about others too. He could've just kept it like before and then continue talking like friends about crushes and all. So basically I'm confused.

    And to clarify, I don't have a thing for him; he's just a friend to me. The only reason I allow the affection is.. I'm happily single but I do miss affection and he just seems to fulfil the quota at the moment. So I know I don't have feelings for him.. I just want to know what's on his mind and I'm not in a position to ask. So just want some unbiased view.

    ps: I don't want him to think I allow the affection because I like him.. I get uncomfortable at the thought of people thinking I like them when I don't because I secondguess what I do and etc.. Should I just talk about random guys with him so that he doesn't get the wrong end of the stick or let things be and just act aloof ?
    I'm guilty of having three "touchy feely" relationships, both giving and receiving (yes, obvious sexual joke; Hah. Hah.). I don't fancy any of them, though. Sometimes when you're close to someone and comfortable with them it's nice to be affectionate and playful.

    It's not necessarily sexual attraction, but it would be ignorant to suggest it was impossible. I wouldn't take an offensive stance, however, as you're obviously very close to him and it'd be a shame to spoil that. I'd advise just taking it as it comes, but if you are at a point when it becomes uncomfortable then I'd advise informing him and drawing a line in the sand.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    I'd be careful if I was you. I was like this with one of my friends and we both didn't know if the other one liked us, but then I got with someone else and they tried turning all my friends against me and stuff because they were upset and angry and then got drunk and declared their love to me at a party, which was really weird and it's kind of ruined our relationship because we were so ridiculously close before.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    that's an ambiguous answer. Don't know which way you mean.
    basically if you dont take the hint..one day his hands gonna go even lower into the nether regions. then what ?!!?!?!?!!?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by moomin_love)
    I'd be careful if I was you. I was like this with one of my friends and we both didn't know if the other one liked us, but then I got with someone else and they tried turning all my friends against me and stuff because they were upset and angry and then got drunk and declared their love to me at a party, which was really weird and it's kind of ruined our relationship because we were so ridiculously close before.
    out of curiosity, do you guys still talk? or has the friendship been too damaged to repair due to this?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by fidel69)
    basically if you dont take the hint..one day his hands gonna go even lower into the nether regions. then what ?!!?!?!?!!?
    well, what you're saying is completely different. With the way he's acting right now, I can give him the benefit of the doubt and think to myself 'okay he might just be being friendly'... with what you're saying, I think sole friendship-ness gets eliminated. and obviously, there'd be no confusion.. my point was I don't understand why his actions don't really concur with his words.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Do you like him? If the answer is yes then get with him because he obviously likes you.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Davezk)
    Do you like him? If the answer is yes then get with him because he obviously likes you.
    why do you seem sooo sure that he likes me? I have a habit of giving people too much benefit of the doubt so is it my thinking that is warped if I assume its just platonic?

    I'm sooo convinced I don't like him but then I have no idea why I've spent the whole day dwelling on this like a moron! :| this is suchhhhhhh a mind-****! :Z
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    why do you seem sooo sure that he likes me? I have a habit of giving people too much benefit of the doubt so is it my thinking that is warped if I assume its just platonic?

    I'm sooo convinced I don't like him but then I have no idea why I've spent the whole day dwelling on this like a moron! :| this is suchhhhhhh a mind-****! :Z
    Aww. You like him / like being liked.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by candytreeman)
    Aww. You like him / like being liked.
    ..and the major problem arises when I don't know which one it is :\
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Maybe you're a friend with benefits.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 19, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you rather give up salt or pepper?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.