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    http://entertainment.timesonline.co....cle6990891.ece

    When he was about seven, Jim discovered hardcore European pornography in his father’s wardrobe, and he can remember some of those first images he saw. “I found them quite disturbing. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it, of course, because the whole point is that it’s hidden. You know that you’re not supposed to know about it.”

    From then on he would get up before his parents woke, before six in the morning, to look through his father’s briefcase and find the porn magazines. “Then my dad got a Super 8 projector, when I was about 11 or 12, and he would hire porn films. He would lock himself in the dining room to watch them. But the real change came when he got a video, and I persevered till I found the films. I was about 14 and I would find them and watch them when I was alone in the house. Constantly.”

    At this age, Jim did not have any relationships to set against this obsession. He was going to a boys’ school and never met girls socially. “I was obsessed with pornography, I wanted to be pornography, I wanted to live pornography,” he said. “It wasn’t good for me, I can see that now. I knew that even then, I think, but it was an addiction from the start. It had such a powerful hold on me. It had a huge effect on my behaviour with women.

    “I was unable to think of women except as potential pornography. I looked at them in a purely sexual way. I remember one day I was walking to school, I was about 15, and I got talking to a girl who must have been about 18. I immediately said I wanted to grope her breasts. I had no idea how to interact with women as people.”

    Even though Jim began to have girlfriends from the age of 19, he never managed to shrug off the power of the fantasy world. “The power of pornography has continued throughout my adult life. Nothing has really measured up to the world of porn, for me. I’ve seen thousands of strangers having sex. So when I have sex, I am watching myself having sex.”
    It is a cause for concern :laugh:
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    Well it can be a good way to get your sexy-time kick when no-one else is around to help you. If, like me, you are a loner and do not mix easily with people - you avoid social situations (i.e. clubbing or going to a bar), porn can be very useful.
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    I would think one night stands and casual sex have killed sexual intimacy more than pornography ever has.
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    I'm sure those people who wish to be intimate want more than just sexual pleasure, whilst those don't want the intimacy will just get the sexual pleasure from one night stands, or worse from prostitutes. So no, I don't think porn has made this worse, just some people like that person in the example are a bit deranged. I mean I didn't even know stuff about sex until I was twice his age, how could he look at this stuff without giggling or going eurgh when he was 7.
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    Yes, it does, for some people - for others, it doesn't.

    The majority of pornography portrays women as dehumanised objects and sexual caricatures who are eager to reveal and degrade themselves for the sexual gratification of men.

    As to whether this destroys sexual intimacy...it depends what sort of a man (or woman, though for the sake if it I will keep referring to men in this post) you are. Some men I know are left completely unable to relate to women as people at all due to porn, as in this OP's article, but then there are men who have wives and girlfriends whom they treat with care, dignity and respect.... until they get near a stripper, when they suddenly turn into a slavering monkey with grabby hands. Then of course, there are the men who accept porn as complete fantasy and have completely healthy relationships with women.

    Porn alone isn't a catch all scapegoat.
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    I think porn is a problem with teenagers or younger individuals more so than adults.

    If watching porn is your first experience with sex, then you're going to always relate to that image which will affect how you see relationships. But once you start interacting with people in the real world, the fantasy realm of porn seems safer and more familiar.

    Watching [good] porn between a couple as part of their sexual intimacy is fine, in my opinion.
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    I just think porn is so unrealistic in comparison to the sex experienced by people in the real world - all the porn stars have massive boobs, perfect make up, hairless, plastic surgeried genitals and bleached *******s to make them look more pink (gross, I know) - but in real life sex is not like that at all. I mean, when you wake up next to your partner and have a morning quicky you aren't exactly going to be looking your best - but that's the beauty of it - people can have sex WITHOUT looking awesome, because when people love each other appearance isn't a huge problem. Porn sets the standard high for aesthetic appeal in what is sexy and what isn't; for example I almost completely blame the porn industry for women and girls' insecurities about body hair and now as a society it seems like having hairy genitals is unacceptable.
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    (Original post by bananaslug77)
    I just think porn is so unrealistic in comparison to the sex experienced by people in the real world - all the porn stars have massive boobs, perfect make up, hairless, plastic surgeried genitals and bleached *******s to make them look more pink (gross, I know) - but in real life sex is not like that at all. I mean, when you wake up next to your partner and have a morning quicky you aren't exactly going to be looking your best - but that's the beauty of it - people can have sex WITHOUT looking awesome, because when people love each other appearance isn't a huge problem. Porn sets the standard high for aesthetic appeal in what is sexy and what isn't; for example I almost completely blame the porn industry for women and girls' insecurities about body hair and now as a society it seems like having hairy genitals is unacceptable.
    Porn is good for us who have starred in them. Gives me a chance to **** guys who have huge cocks like mine. Rarely find them when out on the pull.
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    Yes and no.

    Some pornography is unrealistic and promotes unrealistic and unsafe attitudes towards sex; I remember reading this article the other day (not work-safe, talks about anal sex and pornography - http://blog.smittenkittenonline.com/...omment-page-1/) which mentions something that is particularly concerning when teenagers without much sexual experience are exposed to entirely unrealistic expectations. In another article (putting the key words I remember into Google may well end up with me being placed on some kind of watch list =], so I'd rather not look for the link, if you don't mind) I remember the discussion of the effect of this kind of pornography on teenage girls who, if I remember correctly, may well feel more pressure to perform certain acts without always knowing the risks/how to do it in a way that is fun and safe for all concerned.

    One could, I suppose, even make an argument that pornography affects the way we view relationships and women in particular, or that being exposed to sexual images normalises sexual activity so that it becomes less about the relationship and intimacy with someone and more about sex as a purely physical activity. However, I'm not convinced that a lot of good does come out of making sex into something that's purely private and doesn't get discussed at all, just because that can also lead to ignorance about sexual health and sex in general which, I don't think, makes people really safe.

    And that's why I also say no. Not all pornography is degrading and unrealistic, though a lot certainly is. I remember one article in particular (http://articles.sfgate.com/2007-02-1...riages-exposed) about porn and the way it is presented in the media. It's true that porn isn't just something that you watch by yourself because you can't get a date and it's definitely possible to find some good quality things out there. And if you manage to find some good quality erotica that turns you on, or if you and your partner enjoy watching porn together, then more power to you, I say.
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    (Original post by Tintavy)
    Yes and no.

    Some pornography is unrealistic and promotes unrealistic and unsafe attitudes towards sex; I remember reading this article the other day (not work-safe, talks about anal sex and pornography - http://blog.smittenkittenonline.com/...omment-page-1/) which mentions something that is particularly concerning when teenagers without much sexual experience are exposed to entirely unrealistic expectations.
    I always thought that porn actresses* had taken cleansing enemas before engaging what the industry calls 'ass-to-mouth'. Useful article and I do wonder how much of a role this contributes to heterosexual transmission of STIs etc.

    *Yes, gender biased I know. :shifty:
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    That story hardly represents all people, I don't know any hardcore pornography addicts.
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    Porno is far away from what the most important in sex is - the fact that there are two human beings who want to offer one another the biggest existing pleasure. Porn is about faking and making funny noises. It just refers to our wild nature... nothing more
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    Women are dehumanised objects good only for sex. If not tell me what things women contribute to the world other than sex and baby making.

    We men rule the planet and women are just for our entertainment.
 
 
 
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