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    Ok well no idea how to really answer to this, cause the problem why you think of this other guy so much is due to the mixture of two things; 1) You think he is attractive and is something different at this point in time, and 2) You are trying to forget about him, therefor there are two sides of your mind giving him attention, just try pull through and treat this other guy as a friend and maybe make it clear to him... It is quite difficult to pull off, but try not give this guy any thoughts what so ever, like if you see him enough it will just happen, if you don''t you will think of him, and if he does anything which makes you guys see each other more then you will still think of him, so just try enjoy your times with your boyfriend and try relax, try get your boyfriend to just give you an hour long massage or something, nothing sexual though.
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    Your boyfriend better not know you're on this site on your in for it...
    It is just lust, and you need to forget about it. If you think you wont be able to, stop seeing him, and dont talk to him, he wont think anything of it since you're only "acquaintances". And if you dont think that'll work, make yourself hate him. Everytime you think about him, tell yourself that he's just testing you, and trying to ruin everything. If you've given him any signals that you might like him, make it known that you're in an AMAZING relationship with an AMAZING guy, and you loove him (or like him loads). If not, just try avoid him subtly. If anything did happen, you'd end up alone pretty soon after; he's not a serious thing, and you're boyfriend would be pissed. I reckon you're boyfriend would understand what you're going through (doesnt mean that you need to tell him, please dont) but if you were to do something about it, he wouldnt understand that.

    You CANT let anything happen, what you have sounds amazing. If you get over this, it'll just mean you wont have to go through it again, and you can move on to being 100% happy with your boyfriend again.
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    Good luck
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    try to remember that you tend to idealise people who are physically amazing looking who you don't know. your relationship with your bf presumably works because you both share something deeper. I fell hard for a boy at uni- and pined over him for a whole term (he had a girlfriend)- when he finally admitted he liked me and we got together I realised what he was really like (still a lovely guy- but not so impressive!) and I wanted to break up with him within a week- we just didn't make a good couple at all!

    also- when I was with him (briefly) I did suddenly desperately want to get with other people because of physical attraction- in my case, we hadn't been together that long and I actually wasn't physically attracted to him really. but I'm just saying- slightly similar. I figured if he'd maybe been a better kisser/fitter or just we'd gelled as people it wouldn't have been an issue- but I reckon its a general problem I have. I think it just happens- you have to just remember how it can feel so strong when actually you don't even know the person
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    The grass is always greener on the other side.
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    The grass always seems greener on the other side, until you leave your boyfriend go with this guy and when the honey moon period is over your back to square one. Maybe you and your boyfriend have deep underlying issues which you need to work on, because i really doubt he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with if a person you barely know has such an effect on you. Think carefully whatever you decide to do.
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    Just wait it out, really. It will fade if you do nothing about it. If it doesn't and grows to be unbearable then maybe you can consider a different course of action but as it stands I think if you break up with your boyfriend, there is no certainty you will get anywhere with this other guy and you will almost certainly regret it.

    Try not to feel guilty, it's common. I reckon when you're with someone a long time, once a new interest pops up it's hard to surpress it simply because you haven't had those "beginning" feelings in such a long time, you just settle into loving your current partner.

    Alternatively sometimes people DO run into people who are a better match for them than their current partner. But you have no way of knowing and it might be dangerous trying to get to know the new guy better incase you're tempted to cheat or something.
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    You've done right cutting him out. I read some good advice regarding this sort of thing once, ''never leave someone you love for someone you like''. It doesnt make you a bad person to have a crush on someone else, its healthy, youre young, it happens.
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    (Original post by fran1891)
    I've already removed him on facebook, and from now on will literally avoid him as much as possible, I pray to god this will end.
    Really?
    You say your bf is the one you want to spend your life with. Surely this is more of a wake up call than anything. If a guy you rarely see can be on your mind so much, imagine if you end up working with someone like him.
    Think is people change a lot in their teenage and early twenties. Your bf may be a great guy, and everything a bf should be on paper, but end of the day you should go with what feels right, otherwise you may end up resenting him etc.
    It's not your fault you like someone else other than your bf, thats just how life goes.
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    #1

    ok i thought i'd reply to this because i'm in a really similar situation. i have the most amazing boyfriend, but i found myself thinking about this guy a lot, and the tension kept building until he told me he was attracted to me and i admitted i felt the same... For me this doesn't change the way i feel about my boyfriend, he's awesome and even though i don't believe in soul mates/ "forever" there's NO way i want to break up with him.

    I had a think about this and considered how gutted i'd be if the shoe was on the other foot, and how awful it would be to hurt someone i love so much. Also thinking about how i'd feel if it were a straight choice between the two of them made me realise how important my boyfriend is compared to this other guy. I wouldn't want to risk what i've got by taking this further just for the excitement of something new.

    The sad thing is i don't think it's one of those things that you can conquer forever. The intense attraction to this guy will probably wear off, but how many more people could there be over the rest of a lifetime? It's just life, you might be attracted to other people (as you would be if you didn't have a boyfriend) and you have to make choices for yourself. It sounds like you're handling it really well and i wouldn't feel guilty at all because it's just human nature! All in all I think your boy is a lucky guy and as long as you genuinely WANT to be with him it's worth trying to get through this.
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    Sleep with the other guy. You know you want too.
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    This is a hard one... I would ask what are the underlying problems with you and your boyfriend, because clearly it can't be that perfect if you're wanting someone else... I agree with the others, just wait it out but if it's big enough that you're this worried then maybe you should suggest a break with your boyfriend, not to get with the other guy but to get a little space and see what life would be like without him and if you'd prefer it - otherwise you'll be hurting yourself and him. i'm sure he wouldn't want you to be this unhappy.
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    (Original post by fran1891)
    Also just wondering whether anybody else has been in a similar situation, and how they dealt with it?
    Closest I have been to this is actually my ex-gf (well kinda)... but she was close to being in your place and i have no idea which way this works for you, but she was interested in me and kept me on, but was asked out by a guy a few times and said yes one of the later times, but still tried to keep me on, and since i believed that she didn't actually mean to say yes i thought i'd be fine... so technically she had a she liked alot, though i have no idea who she did like between me and her bf, but she lied to me about some things and i refuse to tolerate lying especially from someone i actually did love.

    But all is good now, well for me. but thats the closest i have been to your situation.

    But just hang in there
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    everyone develops crushes on other people whislt in a relationship. All my friends have obsessed, well not obsessed but had a crush on some guy, whilst in a relationship. You want what you can't have. Imagine you were single and you kissed him or slept with him, that would be it, the attraction would be gone and you'd move on because at teh end of the day it's just looks. Don't try to forget him, just accept the fact tht you have a crush on him and that he is fit and you'll see, you'll forget about him ina few days! If you freak out and start questioning your relationship then all you're doing is making it worse by giving it importance. Everyone has crushes in a relationship, as long as you dont do anything about it, who cares, we all need eye candy
 
 
 
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