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should i split up a couple, just because i like her? watch

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    This could take a while, and im not used to opening up at all, let alone on a forum, but its getting to the point where im done for.

    I am currently in a relationship and its coming upto our 4th anniversary in February. We are best friends and neither of us has been with anyone else. I am 19, she is almost 18.

    However, over the past few weeks ive noticed somebody else, a girl whos caught my eye and to be honest, i cant actually get her out of my head for some reason - this has never happened before which is why im pretty torn up about it all. This girl goes to my sixth form. She is my age, (18) whilst my girlfriend goes to another college a couple of miles away...

    This girl also has a boyfriend, i discovered a few weeks ago that she had been with him for nearly 3 years but he has broken up with her once or twice over the last year (helpful?) Now i know for a fact this girl thinks im alright, she is often looking over at me or when we pass, she is fixed on me until i look at her which is when she quickly looks away. I also went to a party last night where she was with him, yet she was looking over at me and the group i was with alot.

    Now, if this was any other girl who had taken an interest in me, id just brush it off, but this girl is in my head and i wouldnt mind getting with her. So my question is, how do i go around this? How shall i start conversation with her, shall i chat over facebook (which is my best option but id rather talk to her in person at Sixth Form).

    Shall i go straight to the point and tell her how fantastic she looked at the party Saturday Night? Do i talk about our relationships and hope she sympathies with me when i tell her about how me and my girlfriend had been drifting apart over the past few weeks?

    Some advice would be nice.
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    ouch... break it off with your gf.. first

    Or maybe youare just lusting after someone else 'cause she is someone else...
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    Do you love your girlfriend?
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    You have a girlfriend of 4 years and all you can think of is getting on some new girl who is not even on the market. Wow. Just wow.
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    People like you make me sick. With an attitude towards relationships like that, I can't see why any Woman is going to stick with you for long.

    And how long before you get "bored" of this new girl and find someone else who has been looking at you?
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    This is a massive test of your character, instict tells me you will fail.
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    I think you should break up with your girlfriend because you don't deserve her.
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    (Original post by Nutta!)
    ouch... break it off with your gf.. first
    nah, then wheres his life-raft if his ship sinks?
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    Stop living in the OC
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    Firstly, remind yourself you're in a relationship. If you're unhappy in that relationship, then end it. Don't start another fling before you've ended your current one. That's just cruel. If you're not happy with your current girlfriend, do the manly thing and end it.

    Secondly, remind yourself that this girl is also in a relationship. It's not up to you to offer yourself to a girl who you know is already with someone. That in my opinion, is below the belt. Leave her alone, unless you know for sure, she is no longer in a relationship.

    If you're unhappy in how your relationship is now, then end it. Don't string along your girlfriend for any longer than necessary, it's not kind.
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    (Original post by ogloom)
    nah, then wheres his life-raft if his ship sinks?
    Its a 4 year relationship, he wants a bit of another bird, he should let the other one go.

    That's messed up, you cant have the best of both worlds.. stick to one
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    I expected to be slaughtered, but i can at least try to explain

    Ive never had another girlfriend, other than the one im with now. She has been with me since i was 15 years old and now im getting to the stage where im in close to Uni and need to try other things. Its not about having her to bounce back onto if things with this other girl fail.

    I love my girlfriend, but over the last few months shes becoming more of a best friend because of the way im looking at other girls. One of the reasons i havent broken with her is because she doesnt have many friends, as in close friends. Can i really leave her on her own?

    :eek3:
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    If you genuinely lost loving feelings for your girlfriend and not just because you're bored, you should break it off because it's not fair to lead her on like that
    Just know there's no guarantee with the new girl at all, and if it doesn't work out don't go running back to your current girlfriend because that's just mean.

    EDIT: just saw your latest post
    you don't really love her as a girlfriend but as a friend it seems, and you should end it basically because you're lying to her, she won't be on her own because you can still be there for her as a friend if things end well

    don't just end things because you want something new, you can't keep ditching the old for the new- it's insensitive and selfish
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    go for it dude you only live once
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    (Original post by Shiny Dirt)
    and if it doesn't work out don't go running back to your current girlfriend because that's just mean.
    That wont happen. Do you people think i like this predicament. I dont.
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    You'll always be close friends.

    But she LOVES you. Stop messing around with her feelings
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    (Original post by Nutta!)
    Its a 4 year relationship, he wants a bit of another bird, he should let the other one go.

    That's messed up, you cant have the best of both worlds.. stick to one
    It may be messed up, but its in OP's best interest.
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    you know what, you are going to uni?

    So hows new girl and you going to work out then>

    also enjoy last few months with old gf... you seem to want to break it off at some point
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    (Original post by ogloom)
    It may be messed up, but its in OP's best interest.
    he'll feel like **** afterwards..
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    Firstly, remind yourself you're in a relationship. If you're unhappy in that relationship, then end it. Don't start another fling before you've ended your current one. That's just cruel. If you're not happy with your current girlfriend, do the manly thing and end it.

    Secondly, remind yourself that this girl is also in a relationship. It's not up to you to offer yourself to a girl who you know is already with someone. That in my opinion, is below the belt. Leave her alone, unless you know for sure, she is no longer in a relationship.

    If you're unhappy in how your relationship is now, then end it. Don't string along your girlfriend for any longer than necessary, it's not kind.

    This. Exactly this.

    If your current infatuation has made you realise that you don't like your current girlfriend then do the right thing and split up with her. It's unfair to string her along while your constantly thinking of someone else.

    As for the other person, if you have split up with your gf and she happens to split up with her partner, then, and only then, you can go for it. You have to be a bell end of rather epic proportions to split them up yourself.

    Right now your situation doesn't make you a bad person, liking someone else when your in a relationship happens and you can't really control it. You can however, quite easily mess the situation up and become a total ****. Hope that helps.
 
 
 
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