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Don't really know what to do about my boyfriend watch

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    We have been going out for four years. But there is absolutely no romance there. We have sex 3 or 4 times a year, if that, we quite easily go a year at a time without it.

    We're very good friends, I'll go to his house often and we will hang out all the time, he is my best friend. We don't really have much in common, other than the fact we have been friends for ages. We are very familiar with each other, but we don't share common interests. We used to four years ago but he has become really obsessed with football and computing and its all he talks about now and I have nothing to talk to him about. So in that sense we've kind of grown apart.

    Another really huge factor is that I have depression but he doesn't really care, he isn't very expressive of his emotions (typical bloke) and can't talk about his feelings. I have absolutely no outlet for my emotions, I can't talk to him about deeper issues because it's just beyond him. He just says "he doesn't know" and "oh well" then goes silent. We kind of came to a mutual agreement a few weeks ago that I'd just pretend I wasn't depressed and find someone else to talk to about how I feel.

    I used to feel for years that I loved him way much than he loved me, and feel like my love was unreturned and he basically agreed with me.

    I don't know. We're great mates, but we aren't a couple. But because we have been together for so long, I don't really know how to get out of it. His parents expect us to get married and stuff because I have been around for so long now, and we're quite tied up financially.

    I would just let it fizzle out but he wouldn't even notice. I stopped having sex with him for a year and it didn't spur him on to dump me, he never even confronted me about it. He just isn't really emotionally switched on. He is too unresponsive.
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    Maybe he's gay?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We have been going out for four years. But there is absolutely no romance there. We have sex 3 or 4 times a year, if that, we quite easily go a year at a time without it.

    We're very good friends, I'll go to his house often and we will hang out all the time, he is my best friend. We don't really have much in common, other than the fact we have been friends for ages. We are very familiar with each other, but we don't share common interests. We used to four years ago but he has become really obsessed with football and computing and its all he talks about now and I have nothing to talk to him about. So in that sense we've kind of grown apart.

    Another really huge factor is that I have depression but he doesn't really care, he isn't very expressive of his emotions (typical bloke) and can't talk about his feelings. I have absolutely no outlet for my emotions, I can't talk to him about deeper issues because it's just beyond him. He just says "he doesn't know" and "oh well" then goes silent. We kind of came to a mutual agreement a few weeks ago that I'd just pretend I wasn't depressed and find someone else to talk to about how I feel.

    I used to feel for years that I loved him way much than he loved me, and feel like my love was unreturned and he basically agreed with me.

    I don't know. We're great mates, but we aren't a couple. But because we have been together for so long, I don't really know how to get out of it. His parents expect us to get married and stuff because I have been around for so long now, and we're quite tied up financially.

    I would just let it fizzle out but he wouldn't even notice. I stopped having sex with him for a year and it didn't spur him on to dump me, he never even confronted me about it. He just isn't really emotionally switched on. He is too unresponsive.
    Your boyfriend hasn't had sex for a year? You sure he isn't cheating??
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    (Original post by EmiPark)
    Your boyfriend hasn't had sex for a year? You sure he isn't cheating??
    I havent had sex for a year either and I'm not cheating. He doesn't have any female friends anyway.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I havent had sex for a year either and I'm not cheating. He doesn't have any female friends anyway.

    Hmmm...you both sound very isolated, depressed and as though you're together for the sake of it? If you were to leave him or disappear for a few weeks, what would he do?
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    (Original post by EmiPark)
    Hmmm...you both sound very isolated, depressed and as though you're together for the sake of it? If you were to leave him or disappear for a few weeks, what would he do?
    I've done this before. He cried a lot. Was very miserable without me. I felt really guilty and got back with him because he was my friend. Then nothing changed.
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    You've said it yourself OP - you're not a couple. Which, hopefully, will make the break-up easier - I do think you need it. Is this how you envisaged not just a relationship, but the relationship you'll be in for life? You mentioned that you feel marriage is expected of you, but do you want that at all? You owe it yourself to find what makes you happy, particularly if you're suffering from depression. Be strong and tell him that you don't want to go on like this, because it doesn't like you do. Good luck!
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    I'm really sorry to have to say this but this is a dead relationship. No sex for a year?! That has got to be telling you something. I can understand you staying together if everything else was good in your relationship but it really doesn't sound like you're happy. I think you should end this relationship. It will be really hard for both of you at first because you have been together for ages but you both deserve better than this. xx
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    Its run its course, time to move on.
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    Woah that sounds like my relationship! although he love ME more than I love him, plus we live together. The sex thing also was a problem, mainly due to me. We have technically split up but we still live together. It's kinda hard to go as we have been together for 5 years (a lifetime).

    If you're not living together how are you tied by finance stuff?

    This was my first relationship so it was THE hardest thing I have ever done....there was lots of crying involved on my part...but like you and your bf we are the bestest friends!

    You ARE going to feel like ****, but it will pass. I don't know, if you need any advice then reply to this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've done this before. He cried a lot. Was very miserable without me. I felt really guilty and got back with him because he was my friend. Then nothing changed.
    Hmmm...you should do it again, but refuse to go back with him til he proves he loves you. Be strict.
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    If your bf can go without sex for a year there is clearly something not right? How can YOU go without sex for a year??? Just please find someone new, just stay friends with him tho..honestly
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've done this before. He cried a lot. Was very miserable without me. I felt really guilty and got back with him because he was my friend. Then nothing changed.
    I am not saying it doesn't matter that he cried and was unhappy, but he WILL get over it, just like the other millions of relationships that have had break ups! He will realise its for the best. I mean, as much as you have been together this long or whatever, I personally don't think its a relationship, you have just become good friends. A relationship has that 'spark' to it, both people fancy each other. Right now, all you guys are doing is 'getting along' which is a very different thing.
 
 
 
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