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Am a virgin, and don't want my boyfriend to know watch

    • #3
    #3

    Really OP, if you can't be honest in life what have you got?

    Everyone on this thread has said you should tell him. Start liking yourself more instead of being something you think he wants. It's not going to make you 'dependent' it will make you closer.
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
    You'll have to explain why you don't want to do it again straight away if he's up for more soon afterwards (chances are you will be in too much pain to go for it again so soon)

    You'll have to be confident enough to say you're in charge of how things go instead of seeing how it goes - making sure you're in a comfortable position and he's not rushing.
    He may get suspicions from this, in which case-
    You put up with a ******** of pain.

    Or tell him beforehand
    .
    thanks for the response

    my god though, you make sex sound so painful! starting to rethink the whole thing now...

    it may be that this idea is simply not possible, in which case I'm not sure what I'll do. Probably put it off even longer, but then it will just become even more impossible to tell him, or anyone else for that matter.
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    I would be amazingly happy to find out that I will be the first person that will have sex with you!

    It is not just "nice stuff" to say, its the truth.

    It is great to get a virgin girl because she will eventually become a perfectly customized to your needs lover! Even though you would have to teach her some things - its well worth it! She would not be stained by some other boyfriend experiences, she would have no "norms" in sex because she never had sex! I have a girlfriend of 2 years (she is turning 20 in may) and she was a virgin when we started seeing each other. Even though she was a virgin she was open to try new things and now she is perfect in bed.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thanks for the response

    my god though, you make sex sound so painful! starting to rethink the whole thing now...

    it may be that this idea is simply not possible, in which case I'm not sure what I'll do. Probably put it off even longer, but then it will just become even more impossible to tell him, or anyone else for that matter.
    Are you comfortable with yourself? If you know what turns you on then you can guide him as to how to do that for you and it may help you to relax.
    To be honest, when it came to my first time, it was painful for the first few minutes, but then I was actually starting to enjoy it somewhat, the show was over thanks to him.
    It sounds painful but its different for everyone and you just have to be able to tell him to stop if its hurting. I hurt for days afterwards so I wouldn't like to imagine how worse it could have been had I made myself 'endure' any pain as such.
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    (Original post by L i b)
    Completely honestly: I cannot imagine how any man would think less of you for not having had sex, and I know many would probably be quite happy about it.
    Quoted for the truth.

    It is fascinating to see the difference between how women view virginity in the east and in the west. In the west, it is seen as a burden and in the east seen as something sacred.
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    If you don't tell him, he's going to think you're absolutely **** in bed for no good reason and wonder why you're not enjoying yourself... also what are you going to do if he asks about how many people you've slept with? lie more?

    if you can't be honest you shouldn't even be having sex, you sound so immature!
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    get him drunk before hand, or hes going to notice, unless hes a complete idiot

    and dont tell him you're on your period, thats just weird
    • #4
    #4

    You really need to tell him.. I didn't tell my boyfriend (I was 17, he was older and I was quite shy and naive) and he was gutted when he found out I hadn't told him. He's not going to think you're odd or whatever, and to be honest if he does, is he really someone you want to be sleeping with?
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    I don't know what's the big deal. I'm sure he'll be happy that he's your first. It's better to tell him that you're a virgin than confess to him that you slept for example with 20 men before you met him xD It'd be more awkward :p:
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    psst...he'd want you even more
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    Telling him you're on your period would be a worse move :lolwut:
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    Why do people in this country thinks its better not to be a virgin than be one? Is everyone a whore in this country?
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    Tell him. If anything, it's a good thing.
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    Once you've told him you'll be surprized how easy it was, there really is nothing to be embarrassed about. He'll only take threat you more carefully and make sure your comfortable. Besides a relationship is based upon trust and he has a right to know the truth.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The point I'm trying to make is that there are many, complicated reasons, not all of which I'm going to share on tsr, why I don't want him to know - or know right now at any rate. Which is why I asked in my first post not to be dissuaded from this. Can I perhaps please have some responses to the question I actually asked - namely, whether what I want to do is actually possible. Bear in mind I'm a quick learner.

    dont listen to them lol, know exactly what you mean
    and yeah, it is possible, i got away with it, although i felt kinda bad when he asked how old i was when i lost it and i had to make up some long and complex answer, just depends how are you good at fibbing
    and if you bleed a noticable amount just say your periods early.
    this also depends on how many girls hes had before, as long as hes not too experienced and you go with the flow, he'll be none the wiser!
    :cool:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 20 year old female, and have never had sex - partly through choice, partly through lack of opportunity. I'm now however in a relationship - not my first one, but the first one were we've discussed having sex. I want to, and god knows it's about time, but keep putting it off - I don't want him to know I'm a virgin.

    Please don't try and dissuade me on this - I know the whole 'be honest', 'he won't mind', 'he'd be flattered he's your first' mantra but in reality these statements are up there with the 'it's what's on the inside that counts' - nice thoughts, but in practice totally untrue. I would be very embarrassed, in fact humiliated, if he knew. I also want the whole experience to be casual, and if I say it's my first time he might make a big deal out of it.

    So how do I cover up? I've heard most girls bleed a little their first time; can I say I'm on my period or something? If I just play it by ear, and do what comes naturally, can I make it so it's not so obvious it's my first time?
    Er, what? (I haven't read all the replies so sorry if this has been covered). That's utter nonsense. I know it's a slightly uncomfortable conversation to have but the thing is most people would RATHER know, whether they find it flattering or whatever or not. Why the hell would you want to be in a relationship where you have to hide things from him? Just mention it to him, when you get in the heat of the moment if you want, or whenever. If I were your boyfriend I'd be a little pissed off if I found out later you didn't tell me (actually, this exact thing happened to my friend).
    I didn't want to tell my bf I was a virgin when I was but it made things BETTER. Hurf.
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    You sound kind of immature. If you're not at the stage where you can talk to your boyfriend about your body then you shouldn't have sex, IMO.

    I lost my virginity at 20 as well and it didn't hurt too much - but mainly because my boyfriend took it slowly and was extra gentle. There's plenty of time for "sexy" sex later and your boyfriend wouldn't mind at all. In fact he would probably be kind of chuffed.

    EDIT: Yeah, I was probably a bit harsh. Sorry. But I've seen so many threads about this on TSR and it really bothers me that people think virginity is something to be embarrassed or ashamed about ... and I really can't comprehend why it would ever be worth lying about to someone you're meant to love.
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    He'll be able to tell anyway, most likely.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 20 year old female, and have never had sex - partly through choice, partly through lack of opportunity. I'm now however in a relationship - not my first one, but the first one were we've discussed having sex. I want to, and god knows it's about time, but keep putting it off - I don't want him to know I'm a virgin.

    Please don't try and dissuade me on this - I know the whole 'be honest', 'he won't mind', 'he'd be flattered he's your first' mantra but in reality these statements are up there with the 'it's what's on the inside that counts' - nice thoughts, but in practice totally untrue. I would be very embarrassed, in fact humiliated, if he knew. I also want the whole experience to be casual, and if I say it's my first time he might make a big deal out of it.

    So how do I cover up? I've heard most girls bleed a little their first time; can I say I'm on my period or something? If I just play it by ear, and do what comes naturally, can I make it so it's not so obvious it's my first time?

    Don't you know anything about men? Why the hell would he mind you being a virgin?
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    clearly, the only acceptable solution is to have a quick one night stand with some random guy and get rid of that embarrasing virginity. And then back to your boyfriend, problem solved. As a bonus, if you also manage get a STD from that one night stand, you can really show your BF what an experienced.. um.. woman you are.

    only solution. really.

    :eek3:
 
 
 
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