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Am a virgin, and don't want my boyfriend to know watch

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    Doesn't the female hymen break if they masturbate?
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    Doesn't the female hymen break if they masturbate?
    It depends how they masturbate lol. Some women only need clitoral stimulation... so, no. If they're using vibrators/dildos then maybe, but not always.
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    No one's trying to scare her, we're just being realistic. Chances are that it may well hurt. She'd be better off telling her boyfriend JUST IN CASE it does hurt.
    Plenty of people are telling her that it will hurt (and usually in scaremongering language), not that it may hurt.
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    Well if OP doesn't want the guy to know, it's up to her. And I heard this story of a friend from a friend sometime ago. This girl was going out with someone much much older, and she didn't want him to know she's a virgin so she took a big long bath with another friend, used courgettes and started masturbating to break the hymen. She did it again (i think alone but really, thats just details man) a few times in a week so that she wouldn't be in pain when actual sex happens and he wouldn't know he was her first.

    It was kind of sweet that she did all that for him. But still w.t.f. So anyways looks like she had and solved the same problem as you OP, so ... see you at the vegetables section?
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    (Original post by Pink Bullets)
    Plenty of people are telling her that it will hurt (and usually in scaremongering language), not that it may hurt.
    I have to agree with this, my first time didn't hurt at all, nor did I bleed. And I did tell my boyfriend, but he wasn't particularly gentle with me (nor was he ROUGH either, but still).
    So it won't definitely hurt. But it might. And that wouldn't be so much fun to explain after the fact - plus, don't you want to ENJOY it?!
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    Has this not been concluded with her telling her bf yet?
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    rite here is the thing! sex should not be a big deal! stop thinkin about how to do it and all of that. I was a virgin when i slep with my boyfriend n he diddnt know we did other things before which broke my skin so i bled but it doesnt hapen when your doing it it happens like a hour or so after but be warned mine was realy heavy for like 3 days simalar to a period but very bad everyone is different tho. so yeah my boyfriend thought i had slept with people before when i hadent and yes i was nervous about him finding out n i felt rli bad for not telling him. but ther was nothing i could have done and i couldnt go back on my word i would hav felt so stupid and i think he would have been mad that i had lied to him. so wen i knew it was the night i got abit drunk so i would feel more confident. seriously its not a big deal just relax and just enjoy it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am a 20 year old female, and have never had sex - partly through choice, partly through lack of opportunity. I'm now however in a relationship - not my first one, but the first one were we've discussed having sex. I want to, and god knows it's about time, but keep putting it off - I don't want him to know I'm a virgin.

    Please don't try and dissuade me on this - I know the whole 'be honest', 'he won't mind', 'he'd be flattered he's your first' mantra but in reality these statements are up there with the 'it's what's on the inside that counts' - nice thoughts, but in practice totally untrue. I would be very embarrassed, in fact humiliated, if he knew. I also want the whole experience to be casual, and if I say it's my first time he might make a big deal out of it.

    So how do I cover up? I've heard most girls bleed a little their first time; can I say I'm on my period or something? If I just play it by ear, and do what comes naturally, can I make it so it's not so obvious it's my first time?
    If you don't want to tell him, then don't. That's up to you.

    If you are sure that he's the right guy to have sex with (and I mean that in a non-sentimental way, in the sense that you can share your body with him and know he won't gossip about you after you've done the deed) then go for it. I found the first time I had sex I had to run these things over in my mind and once I had got all of the trust and that sorted out, I just went for it. It's one of those things you just have to dive into and take a leap of faith with. And you'll find it's a whole lot of fun if it's someone you really fancy or love :P

    And if you act nervous, he might appreciate that you are nervous that you are having sex for the first time with him and not even suspect its your first time.
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    (Original post by Advanced Subsidiary)
    Doesn't the female hymen break if they masturbate?
    yes they can it depends how deep they go my boyfriends broke mine with his tho
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    I think you should tell him. If he's a decent person then he won't mind and he might be happy that you could be honest with him and they you didn't think so little of him that you think he'd laugh or dump you etc..
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    Maybe you have already told him youre not a virgin?Thats the only reason I can find fot not wanting to tell.
 
 
 
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