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My girlfriend talking sexually with other guys - broken promises watch

    • #1
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    #1

    I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 1/2 years now. She's 22, and I'm 21. About 12 months ago I discovered she has become very friendly online with a guy named David. I trusted her, that she wouldn't take it too far with him and just have him as a friend. I never knew what was going on. I asked her multiple times (as I worry a lot) if there is anything going on with her and this David, and she told me there wasn't. It wasn't until a few months later that I got an email from David telling me how guilty he felt. He sent me chat conversations between him and my girlfriend that were very explicit. Both telling each other they love each other and talking very sexualy to each other. This was only online, but in the conversations they were also planning on meeting.
    This broke my heart, that my girlfriend would lie to me and tell me nothing was going on and I asked her about it. She told me it doesn't matter, that its just online and not serious, but from what I read, it seemed very serious. Also, whether or not its serious to her, it was to me, as I felt it take a huge chunk out of my heart. She got very angry at me over this, and accused me of having trust issues and all sorts, but agreed not to speak sexualy with anyone again, after realising just how painful it was for me. This incident happened after she had again promised me in the past she wouldntt take sexualy with other guys online, after I found she had in the past, and that was what made it even more painful. So about a year went past and I felt my trust slowly return. That was until last night, when she told me on the phone very courageously of how she had again continued to talk sexualy with guys, despite promising twice she wouldn't and knowing how painful it is for me to know that she does! One of the guys she told me about even, claimed he had fallen in love with her. When I ask, did you ever say you loved him too...she says 'I dont remember' which worries me a lot! Even though this was just an online thing.

    I feel very hurt by this, but when I try to bring it up again with her she accuses me of dragging up the past and not being in the moment. I tell her that I can't help it, and I want to put rest to all of it and move on, but I need her to be honest and answer my questions etc about it all in the mean time, which now she won't do. Yesterday when she admitted talking sexualy again was a one off. She is never usualy that open with me and today when I asked her about it again she acused me of dragging up the past like I said, and having trust issues.

    I just really don't know what to do. I can't dump her because I love her! I really do love her so much, that is what stops me from just flipping out and shouting at her. She told me she is trying to cut down on talking like that with guys and will try not to in the future but cant promise it, even though she knows how painful it is each time she does for me!

    I'd like some advice from you please. Please dont just say 'Get rid of her' or tell me to grow up and let her. It is very painful for me when she does, so constructive answers will be appreciated. Maybe, if anyone would like to act as a medium between us at some point on MSN, that would be very helpful too!
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    Tell her you've had enough of her weird MSN romance ****, and that she should get a life.

    I don't know you, but I can't image that that is your idea of a relationship with someone. So just tell her to make a choice.

    Personally, she sounds really odd!
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    Anon Fail- jermay88
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    awww....
    gutted - but, still, if you can't persuade her to explain to you why she does it if it doenst matter...
    You cant make someone do something or be someone
    If your not happy with how she is and she isnt willing to change (and you dont just want to leave the problem), then you either end it or bite your tongue and live with it!

    She knows shes hurting you, thats the bit that bothers me... particularly as Ive done that myself before
    I always joked with my male best friend and though I explained to my bf that it wasnt serious (who said it was ok, he didnt care), I knew he cared and though I restrained myself, I still talked to my friend, because I always have

    It ended... but I was willing to compromise because I loved him, but if she isnt... its not fair behaviour at all
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    Dump the *****.

    Seriously you won't be able to trust she isn't doing stuff with guys again.
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    Online or not, it shouldn't happen at all. You should be the only one she's interested and dedicated to, therefore remain loyal to you.

    She sounds like she won't learn but seeing as you won't leave her and love her, the only thing you can do is draw a line under it and learn to trust her and believe she will change and keep to her promises.
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    Your girlfriend is a heartless bint.
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    Dude grow a backbone and tell her how you feel. She sounds like a moron and you might want to work out if you want to be with a moron.
    • #2
    #2

    Ask her why she feels the need to do it. Depending on the answer she gives, you're going to have to make the tough choice between staying with her or dumping her. I've been through something similar, and while some people may accuse you of being ridiculous, it's just hard to believe your partner when they say "it's only online, it doesn't mean anything" after they have continually lied. Their credibility and the trust you have in them is compromised, whether it was online or real life.

    anon or delete
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    (Original post by g_star_raw_1989)
    Anon Fail- jermay88
    Add to that a spine fail too. I'd rather date a cross between a rabid hippo and Jordan than this girl.
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    Tell her to **** right off.

    I know it's not what you want to hear, but you are letting her walk all over you because either a) You're not being firm enough, or b) She doesn't care enough to stop.

    I think it's both, and that you need to man up and stop yourself from being used. I don't think that things are meant to be between you, from what you've said, and you should probably end things before you get hurt any more. Sometimes it is for the best in the long run. Seriously, she is manipulating you by turning the blame onto you when you bring it up and so on. Get out of there.
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    What an oddball..
    Sounds like she's got an incessant need of being wanted.. Online? Gosh.. Really, it's just too weird..
    • #3
    #3

    oh man, im really sorry to hear that. It's such a shame life doesn't work out like fairytales. I know how it feels when you love somebody even when the relationship isnt working, i know, im fresh out of a 3 year relationship. From what you say you both have love for each other, but your gf has issues with commitment. I think the best option is to keep the love and friendship there by ending the romantic relationship, but keep a best friends one instead. That way, you are both still in each others lives but her actions won't kill you so much, and lets face it, she won't change as much as you will her to. If you explain to her that you still love her but you can't deal with it nomore, both of you can move on in romantic terms but remain as strong in every other sense...do you get me? Its so hard and theres so much temptation when you go from gf/bf to just bestfreinds....but in the long run its best for both of you. Just think to yourself though...is it her that you love? or the idea of her and having a gf that you love?...and can you love anybody else like her? best of luck x:o:
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    Break her modem?
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    i realise by reading that you do love her alot or else you wouldnt be putting up with her i think you should dump her and find someone worthy of your love ... cos i wouldnt put up with tht... how will u feel the next time she will just hurt you again x
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    dump her you can get better man
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    Get rid of the skank

    Ps ... whats her msn ? :P
 
 
 
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