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Would it bother you if your children were a different religion than you? Watch

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    I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I've been with my boyfriend, who is muslim, for a long time and it's getting to the point where we are thinking about marriage.

    However, he would want his children to be muslim and as an atheist, I don't think I am entirely comforable with my children being brought up muslim. The reason is that it is something that I could not be part of and would feel unable to related on that aspect, which is quite important. Also things like I can't feed them ham or non-halal food (I can't take them to a restaurant and let them order anything, they would have to eat a vegetarian meal, I wouldn't be able to just pop to Tesco and make them some meat with some English meat, I would have to go and get halal meat etc..), the fact that they would go to the mosque every Friday, pray everyday and fast. All these things are completely alien to me and I wouldn't be able to share any of these thigns with my children, because I do not believe in it, it's another culture.

    My boyfriend isn't a hardcore muslim or anything, he is very Westernise and liberal but would want his children to grow up as muslims, which is understandable. He wouldn't force it upon them, they would be free to choose, which is what I want as well, so that isn't the problem. But obviously they would be more biased in becoming muslim (my family is Christian)

    Has anyone been in this situation? What do you think? Would you mind? Do you think I am making a big deal out of nothing?
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    It would bother me if my children were any religion at all.
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    I'm a different religion to my mother. Well, was. I dont have a religion at all now.
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    it would bother me if my children werent able to choose their own religion, if any
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    Hrmm, personally I don't like religion as I think it causes too many divides in society and I think people should be allowed to form their own opinions of religion rather than just going along with what they were brought up to believe. I wouldn't be happy about my kids being brought up with religion as I am also an atheist.
    If he isn't a hardcore Muslim then why would you have to go to the mosque and have a special diet? Seems silly to me. Would you offend him if you told him this?
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    I'd prefer to give my children the freedom to believe in whatever they like.
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    I don't want my children to have any religion, but if they choose one for good reasons then I'll have to let them follow it.
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    I'm an atheist and if I had children (or were going to have children) they'd be brought up with a predominantly atheist outlook - with particular emphasis on being open minded/inquisitive later on in life when they're old enough to question it for themselves.

    I personally wouldn't marry a man of a particular faith. He'd have to be an atheist (or even agnostic) for the relationship to work, imo. I couldn't relate to someone who is religious at all.
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    Yes but I can't really judge. I'd be just like wtf.

    but for you op:
    I think if you want to marry him etc. then you're going to have to make some sacrificies/compromises which is kinda what marriage is
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    (Original post by bittersweetxsymphony)
    Hrmm, personally I don't like religion as I think it causes too many divides in society and I think people should be allowed to form their own opinions of religion rather than just going along with what they were brought up to believe. I wouldn't be happy about my kids being brought up with religion as I am also an atheist.
    If he isn't a hardcore Muslim then why would you have to go to the mosque and have a special diet? Seems silly to me. Would you offend him if you told him this?
    Because just like in the Jewish faith, muslims have their friday prayer at the mosque (like mass). It's not long only baout 20 mins. He believes that people shouldn't be forced into any religion but he would teach his kids islam. Yes, the meat would have to be halal. Although he is liberal minded, he doesn't drink, eat pork or non-halal food. I wouldn't offend him, but I want to know if it is an issue before I confront him you know?
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    (Original post by 35mm_)
    I'd prefer to give my children the freedom to believe in whatever they like.
    This. I'm atheist, but believe that any future children should be able to choose every aspect of their own path in life.

    If they chose to be Muslim, and commit to that religion, then brilliant - good on them. However, if they were to be 'brought up' Muslim I would have to argue against it, BEFORE any big decisions such as marriage were made. I completely disagree with that.

    Yes, the culture may be different, and that would be hard to adapt to, but THAT could be dealt with once the decision has been made by the child. I would not agree to my children being brought up under any religion from a young age.
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    It'd annoy me tbh, but religion is a very personal thing.
    As long as they have a free choice, it's up to them .
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    (Original post by bittersweetxsymphony)
    Hrmm, personally I don't like religion as I think it causes too many divides in society and I think people should be allowed to form their own opinions of religion rather than just going along with what they were brought up to believe. I wouldn't be happy about my kids being brought up with religion as I am also an atheist.
    If he isn't a hardcore Muslim then why would you have to go to the mosque and have a special diet? Seems silly to me. Would you offend him if you told him this?
    ^ This + I would want them to have faith, but not necessarily practice a religion per se.
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    Wouldnt bother me given the fact that the next generation dont have a future.
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    No, they are free to believe in whatever religion they want too.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I've been with my boyfriend, who is muslim, for a long time and it's getting to the point where we are thinking about marriage.

    However, he would want his children to be muslim and as an atheist, I don't think I am entirely comforable with my children being brought up muslim. The reason is that it is something that I could not be part of and would feel unable to related on that aspect, which is quite important. Also things like I can't feed them ham or non-halal food (I can't take them to a restaurant and let them order anything, they would have to eat a vegetarian meal, I wouldn't be able to just pop to Tesco and make them some meat with some English meat, I would have to go and get halal meat etc..), the fact that they would go to the mosque every Friday, pray everyday and fast. All these things are completely alien to me and I wouldn't be able to share any of these thigns with my children, because I do not believe in it, it's another culture.

    My boyfriend isn't a hardcore muslim or anything, he is very Westernise and liberal but would want his children to grow up as muslims, which is understandable. He wouldn't force it upon them, they would be free to choose, which is what I want as well, so that isn't the problem. But obviously they would be more biased in becoming muslim (my family is Christian)

    Has anyone been in this situation? What do you think? Would you mind? Do you think I am making a big deal out of nothing?
    Once they're adults and away from home it'll be up to them. If your boyfriend eats halal meat, goes to the mosque etc. and it hasn't had any negative effect then what is there to worry about? If there's any practice that you have severe concerns about then you should raise them with him but things like not eating pork or general meat shouldn't be a major concern. It's not as if you'd be undermined in anyway by this.
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    This is why religious people are best married to each other and atheists with atheists.
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    Yes, it would bother me. They can do what they want when they're a bit older, but while they're young, I certainly wouldn't like it.
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    I'm an atheist and if I had children (or were going to have children) they'd be brought up with a predominantly atheist outlook - with particular emphasis on being open minded/inquisitive later on in life when they're old enough to question it for themselves.

    I personally wouldn't marry a man of a particular faith. He'd have to be an atheist (or even agnostic) for the relationship to work, imo. I couldn't relate to someone who is religious at all.

    just out of interest, how would you feel if your kids decided to be religious once they were at a responsible age (like teens or w/e)?

    and also, whatre you gonna do? ask every man you like whether he's athiest or not before anything? you can't choose who you Love remember ; )
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in a bit of a dilemma. I've been with my boyfriend, who is muslim, for a long time and it's getting to the point where we are thinking about marriage.

    However, he would want his children to be muslim and as an atheist, I don't think I am entirely comforable with my children being brought up muslim. The reason is that it is something that I could not be part of and would feel unable to related on that aspect, which is quite important. Also things like I can't feed them ham or non-halal food (I can't take them to a restaurant and let them order anything, they would have to eat a vegetarian meal, I wouldn't be able to just pop to Tesco and make them some meat with some English meat, I would have to go and get halal meat etc..), the fact that they would go to the mosque every Friday, pray everyday and fast. All these things are completely alien to me and I wouldn't be able to share any of these thigns with my children, because I do not believe in it, it's another culture.

    My boyfriend isn't a hardcore muslim or anything, he is very Westernise and liberal but would want his children to grow up as muslims, which is understandable. He wouldn't force it upon them, they would be free to choose, which is what I want as well, so that isn't the problem. But obviously they would be more biased in becoming muslim (my family is Christian)

    Has anyone been in this situation? What do you think? Would you mind? Do you think I am making a big deal out of nothing?
    This is interesting. I don't think it would really bother me, you and your boyfriend need to have an agreement. You should agree upon the age at which you would like your children to decide what belief they would like to follow. This is the only fair route. Until that age they should follow Islam.
 
 
 
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