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Would it bother you if your children were a different religion than you? watch

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    You have a duty, as a parent, to be honest to you children and explain the possibilities.
    What they come up with is up to them, but so long as you've taught them as best you can, you know that they've made the best decision based on what they know.
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    (Original post by CombineHarvester)
    Once they're adults and away from home it'll be up to them. If your boyfriend eats halal meat, goes to the mosque etc. and it hasn't had any negative effect then what is there to worry about? If there's any practice that you have severe concerns about then you should raise them with him but things like not eating pork or general meat shouldn't be a major concern. It's not as if you'd be undermined in anyway by this.
    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    Ok now this is tricky & I reckon one day this dilemma will come up between me and my partner. I am a muslim - yet a very moderate and westernised one at that. However I certainly do all those things that you say - pray, fast, dont eat pork, eat halal meat etc..

    In all honesty to maintain these things are very easy, halal resteraunts are now increasingly growing, halal food places are also - and as for the others - maybe you should familiarise yourself with muslim practices so you could relate to your future child/ren...

    I think in Islam procreation is predomintantly for the continuation of Islam so it is quite important.

    ...it is a difficult scenario but you can work within it as you said yourself that your boyfriend is moderate - and therefore if you teach your children to be moderate then they will be of a similar nature to your boyfriend - whom you get on with now so why should it be difficult with your children?
    I completely agree You're right, there is nothing wrong with it. The only that would bother me is for example eating non-halal meat when we go to restaurants or when the child would spend time with my family (who would have absolutely no idea where to get some - some live in villages in Portugal where most definately there won't be any!)

    How wrong would it be to let them eat non-halal food when they're not at home?? THis really is my main worry :p:

    (Original post by manwithaplan)
    OP, You're looking for answers in the wrong places, you're not going to find what you're looking for on a student forum.
    Talk to an Iman or someone like that. If you want I have the contact details of someone who's a leading authority in the UK on interfaith marriages (He's neither Muslim nor Atheist so he won't be biased) and trust me his dealt with this issues more times than I've had breakfast.

    PM me and I'll give you his email address and phone number (He lives in South East England so not sure if that's out of the way) if you send him an email his very friendly and should be willing to help.
    Thanks a lot I'll contact you if it does get to the point where marriage is certain

    (Original post by hippityhop)

    i think not even a huge thing like religion could get in the way of maternal love. if it's a boundary you have overcome with your soon to be husband, then it would probably be fine the kids too. everybody has, and is entitled to, different beliefs, so freedom of choice is the most important thing.
    I hadn't thought of that. You're completely right, thank you so much



    (Original post by Anonymous 2)
    I can easily relate to you. I am a muslim and my boyfriends athiest and we both want to be married. My concern is the idea of raising kids too. See you have to understand that if you beleive in god, you wouldnt want your kids to end up in hell... no parents would.
    He sounds like a chilled out guy... if he doesnt drink and doesnt eat pork. Big deal. You probably wouldnt have questioned it if he was just an ordinary guy who didnt like booze and was a vegetarian. Theres only one meat he doesnt eat... really not a big deal is it?
    If he doesnt want the kids forced into a religion, and only wants to TEACH them about islam, why is that so wrong? They'll inevitably learn about other religions in school and pick up on why you're beleifs are different, so they'll choose themselves. Only thing is, you have to make sure that you wont hold it against them if they CHOOSE to follow that religion. you dont want your kids feeling guilty and like they've betrayed one parents beleifs for anothers. that sort of pressure is just unfair
    Is your boyfriend ready to raise his chilren as muslims? Is he completely fine with the mosque, praying, halal food etc?

    I hadn't thought of hte fact they in his eyes they would be going to hell. From his point of view I can now see why it's so important and I respect that. Out of curiosity, would you mind if your children ate pork or had non-halal food sometimes if they went over to your boyfriend family's house or at their friend's house?

    Thank you everyone, I definately think I can work through this now
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    (Original post by Riddy)
    Not one bit, I don't see why it should its their life
    Yes but you're bringing them up in one religion so eventhough you are giving them the choice to choose the religion they want, because they've been brought up with it, they'd be more biased. I'm all for letting my children being whatever they want but I suppose if you're brought up with it, you're not really going to convert later on are you?
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    You'll probably just have to make a compromise.

    Both of you have the right to pass on your own traditions to your kids but your kids also have the right to decide for themselves which path they'll follow.

    By the way, if you can find room to make a compromise on things like this you should not get married IMO.
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    wow, i am in the same situation as you! well not going to count my chickens yet about marriage but we have been going out for a while and finishing uni soon, so i am hoping marriage is on the cards in the next couple years. i was acutally thinking the same as you the other day.

    he is like your bf, muslim, but not that strict. he doesnt' pray or go to mosque, but doesn't drink or eat pork and only eats halal. atwe have spoken about kids/marriage when we first started going out, cos i wanted to know what he expected if it were to last. he said he would like them to be brought up muslim. i am christian - not that strict, i go to church sporadically, but i really don't know how these two cultures and religions will amalgamate.

    i don't think i would mind the halal meat so much. if we lived in london, it's very easy to get, like we eat at the moment. pork may be a problem because i'm chinese and so much good food is made of pork. and food is part of my culture like non pork is part of his culture. i don't know about drinking, but hopefully our kids would be able to choos which culture/religion they wish to follow by the time they are of age to drink. does your bf restrict what you do?

    i am still really unsure how this would work too. you have to give kids guidance when they are young. and they need to be taught. it's hard to bring them up with no religion, and i'd rather one religion rather than none...but i'm still not sure.

    i'd be really interested to find out what you guys decide to do! i haven't met another muslim guy non muslim girl couple.
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    My husband is agnostic and I'm Catholic. We had a Catholic wedding and our children are baptised Catholics and will hopefully be attending a Catholic school.

    My husband doesn't mind - he knows that it's important to me, and I've never made a secret of that from the start.

    At the end of the day, you accept it, or you don't. If you don't accept it, you walk away at the beginning of the relationship.
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    Trust me it's not as hard as you think my mums christian and my dads muslim and so are me and my bro and everyone seems to get on fine. My mum fasts with us not cause she believes in it but cause she wants to do stuff with us still and my dad always helps out with the christmas stuff buys presents joins in the festivities again even though he doesn't believe in it just cause it's a family thing. The walls you're imagining will be there are only going to be there if you really want them to.
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    Whilst I would be disappointed if my children were religious as I am an atheist, I won't resent them or disown them; that would be contradictory as one of the things I hate about religion is children are disowned for not following their parent's religion. I would raise them with an open mind about religion and they can choose to do whatever they want with that open mind as they grow older.
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    It is honestly the easiest thing to maintain lol - maybe there is a halal butcher near you? - there are loads in London - so everytime you need meat - go to a butcher. Also meat isnt everything you know lol - nearly all restauraunts have a good vegetarian alternative - plus muslims can eat fish !! - its honestly not a big deal AT ALL
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes but you're bringing them up in one religion so eventhough you are giving them the choice to choose the religion they want, because they've been brought up with it, they'd be more biased. I'm all for letting my children being whatever they want but I suppose if you're brought up with it, you're not really going to convert later on are you?
    Don't bring them up in one religion, then. You can combine your cultures (much like Christmukkah from The OC), teaching them the basis of both of your religions, celebrate both religions festivals. It doesn't have to be one or the other.
    It's probably more healthy than most religious upbringings, because they really can challenge it then, based on having a shared knowledge.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It is fair, it would interfere with the child's belief if they were brought up Atheist and wanted to be a Muslim. And being Athesit isn't really an experience, being a Muslim is, so they would need some time to experience it.
    Fair point, but if they are brought up Muslim, they won't be able to see all the other faiths. Tbh in that situation I would raise the child as agnostic, so that they can decide for themselves whether God exists, or not!
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    Well I don't plan on having any children but I'll answer anyway. It would bother me if my children were any religion with me being an atheist. I wouldn't like it.
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    (Original post by bobjoe)
    Trust me it's not as hard as you think my mums christian and my dads muslim and so are me and my bro and everyone seems to get on fine. My mum fasts with us not cause she believes in it but cause she wants to do stuff with us still and my dad always helps out with the christmas stuff buys presents joins in the festivities again even though he doesn't believe in it just cause it's a family thing. The walls you're imagining will be there are only going to be there if you really want them to.
    That's so encouraging to hear! :p: You're right, I think I am over thinking this.

    Would you mind me asking how religious you are? Will you raise your children as muslims? Do you go to the mosque, eat halal meat etc etc? Did she ever give you non-halal meat to eat? Would you marry someone who is not muslim??
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    I wouldn't be happy with my children being brought up like this, no.
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    I really wouldn't be happy with any children of mine being brought up religious, tbh.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's so encouraging to hear! :p: You're right, I think I am over thinking this.

    Would you mind me asking how religious you are? Will you raise your children as muslims? Do you go to the mosque, eat halal meat etc etc? Did she ever give you non-halal meat to eat? Would you marry someone who is not muslim??
    I'm pretty religious and I have eaten non halal meet at friends houses on occasion. Yeah I go the mosque with my dad I would marry a non muslim cause thanks to my dad I can see it is quite possible to have it work out. I would wana raise my kids muslim but that's something I'd discuss with whoever's having my children years from now.
 
 
 
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