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Guy texting girlfriend inappropriate messages watch

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    Please keep anon. Sorry, it might be long.

    Basically, me and my girlfriend both go to the same uni and are in a long-term relationship. She has a male friend back home who texts her all the time, sometimes in an inappropriate way (nothing too crude, just the usual suggestive stuff - like if she tells him she's going to bed he'll text back saying "wish i was there"). She never mentioned this and I only found out initially because I was finding a text for her in her inbox on her phone and accidentally stumbled upon a message from him. We ended up talking about things and she said there was nothing going on (which I believe) and that when he sends messages like this, they don't get a response from her. I was a bit annoyed, mainly at him because he knows she has a long-term boyfriend - me, but still tries it on. She said she'd keep me informed if he continue to text her etc. Anyway, I ended up finding out she met up with him once over Christmas just at his house, with another one of his mates (which again, I wouldn't have minded if she'd have told me about but she didn't).

    Now, I don't think she's cheating on me (and no, I don't think I'm being naive) but I am annoyed she continues to text someone politely and even met up with someone who she admits is a "bit of a sleaze", when she knows it pisses me off. She says she's made it perfectly clear she isn't interested and that he wouldn't dare say some of the flirty stuff he says via text to her face. She said she didn't have that many mates at home over Christmas (which is true) and only met him because he was nice enough to help fix her car and she didn't tell me because she thought it would upset me (I have SAD and had a few family issues over xmas) and didn't want to worry me. I'm not enough of a **** to demand she stops seeing to guy, but in her position I think I'd cut contact with him if I knew it bothered her. And personally, I wouldn't want to be mates with someone that text me inappropriately, cos I'd feel uncomfortable about it.

    Any comments/advice on how to proceed.
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    *bump* Took a bit to be approved.
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    She obviously likes the attention she gets from him. I've been in her position and i've only replied and let it carry on if i do actually fancy the guy - if i didn't i'd tell him to stop texting me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anon. Sorry, it might be long.

    Basically, me and my girlfriend both go to the same uni and are in a long-term relationship. She has a male friend back home who texts her all the time, sometimes in an inappropriate way (nothing too crude, just the usual suggestive stuff - like if she tells him she's going to bed he'll text back saying "wish i was there"). She never mentioned this and I only found out initially because I was finding a text for her in her inbox on her phone and accidentally stumbled upon a message from him. We ended up talking about things and she said there was nothing going on (which I believe) and that when he sends messages like this, they don't get a response from her. I was a bit annoyed, mainly at him because he knows she has a long-term boyfriend - me, but still tries it on. She said she'd keep me informed if he continue to text her etc. Anyway, I ended up finding out she met up with him once over Christmas just at his house, with another one of his mates (which again, I wouldn't have minded if she'd have told me about but she didn't).

    Now, I don't think she's cheating on me (and no, I don't think I'm being naive) but I am annoyed she continues to text someone politely and even met up with someone who she admits is a "bit of a sleaze", when she knows it pisses me off. She says she's made it perfectly clear she isn't interested and that he wouldn't dare say some of the flirty stuff he says via text to her face. She said she didn't have that many mates at home over Christmas (which is true) and only met him because he was nice enough to help fix her car and she didn't tell me because she thought it would upset me (I have SAD and had a few family issues over xmas) and didn't want to worry me. I'm not enough of a **** to demand she stops seeing to guy, but in her position I think I'd cut contact with him if I knew it bothered her. And personally, I wouldn't want to be mates with someone that text me inappropriately, cos I'd feel uncomfortable about it.

    Any comments/advice on how to proceed.
    When girls do this it really pisses me off.
    That is all.
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    woaw, serious trust issues here.

    tbh, if i wouldnt do that with someone who pissed my bf off, essp seeing him behind your back.

    she may be cheating on you, i wouldnt rule that out... because if shes hiding THIS from you, she could be hiding much more.... or not, idk.

    but defo stand your ground about this, its one thing having a male friend, its another to flirt and text and go and see behind your back.

    let her no again how much this annoys you, but say on his part, because you trust her - you dont trust him.


    just a suggestion OP
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    i understand what you are saying and i would be nnoyed too in your situation but you have to remember that pushing the subject may cause arguments etc. i think you would be best to just accept it and allow it so long as she doesnt text back in the sma emanner then i really wouldnt worry about it, you obviously have something he wants but at the end of the day she is with you and from the sounds of thins she is keeping it polite on her part.
    it wouldnt be worth the stress to ask her to stop because if he is a mate then she isnt going to appreciate being told she cant talk to him and it make you seem jealous which is never a good thing lol.
    just make sure that she doesnt text him back in a inappropriate manner and you should be fine
    dont worry about it some people always try it on with people who are in a relationship to see if they can get something from it, but she clearly isnt interested in that way
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    yea thats a bit weird. this bloke seems to have a thing for her if hes gonna be sugestive to her even when shes in a relactionship...

    mabie try meeting him? see what you think of this guy she sed is kind of a sleaze... alarm bells ring my friend...

    i dont think ur gf is doing anything bt her hanging with a guy who might have a thing for her is dodgy, sort it out.
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    I say amusingly suggestive things to a friend of mine whos in a relationship (when her bf isn't around), specifically to see her squirm over it However this doesn't sound like that, so I don't know. Maybe hes generally a nice guy but gets sexually frustrated :iiam:
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    (Original post by Rubgish)
    I say amusingly suggestive things to a friend of mine whos in a relationship (when her bf isn't around), specifically to see her squirm over it However this doesn't sound like that, so I don't know. Maybe hes generally a nice guy but gets sexually frustrated :iiam:
    Did you fix her car over Christmas by any chance?
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    if he woudnt say those sugestive things to her if your with them then he shoudnt say it....simple.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anon. Sorry, it might be long.

    Basically, me and my girlfriend both go to the same uni and are in a long-term relationship. She has a male friend back home who texts her all the time, sometimes in an inappropriate way (nothing too crude, just the usual suggestive stuff - like if she tells him she's going to bed he'll text back saying "wish i was there"). She never mentioned this and I only found out initially because I was finding a text for her in her inbox on her phone and accidentally stumbled upon a message from him. We ended up talking about things and she said there was nothing going on (which I believe) and that when he sends messages like this, they don't get a response from her. I was a bit annoyed, mainly at him because he knows she has a long-term boyfriend - me, but still tries it on. She said she'd keep me informed if he continue to text her etc. Anyway, I ended up finding out she met up with him once over Christmas just at his house, with another one of his mates (which again, I wouldn't have minded if she'd have told me about but she didn't).

    Now, I don't think she's cheating on me (and no, I don't think I'm being naive) but I am annoyed she continues to text someone politely and even met up with someone who she admits is a "bit of a sleaze", when she knows it pisses me off. She says she's made it perfectly clear she isn't interested and that he wouldn't dare say some of the flirty stuff he says via text to her face. She said she didn't have that many mates at home over Christmas (which is true) and only met him because he was nice enough to help fix her car and she didn't tell me because she thought it would upset me (I have SAD and had a few family issues over xmas) and didn't want to worry me. I'm not enough of a **** to demand she stops seeing to guy, but in her position I think I'd cut contact with him if I knew it bothered her. And personally, I wouldn't want to be mates with someone that text me inappropriately, cos I'd feel uncomfortable about it.

    Any comments/advice on how to proceed.
    It doesn't matter, trust me. Some guys are just flirtatious in a friend way believe it or not. Why should she tell you if there is nothing to tell? I have been in her situation, I wished there would be enough trust to just let it go. It does no harm. Just a joke.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep anon. Sorry, it might be long.

    Basically, me and my girlfriend both go to the same uni and are in a long-term relationship. She has a male friend back home who texts her all the time, sometimes in an inappropriate way (nothing too crude, just the usual suggestive stuff - like if she tells him she's going to bed he'll text back saying "wish i was there"). She never mentioned this and I only found out initially because I was finding a text for her in her inbox on her phone and accidentally stumbled upon a message from him. We ended up talking about things and she said there was nothing going on (which I believe) and that when he sends messages like this, they don't get a response from her. I was a bit annoyed, mainly at him because he knows she has a long-term boyfriend - me, but still tries it on. She said she'd keep me informed if he continue to text her etc. Anyway, I ended up finding out she met up with him once over Christmas just at his house, with another one of his mates (which again, I wouldn't have minded if she'd have told me about but she didn't).

    Now, I don't think she's cheating on me (and no, I don't think I'm being naive) but I am annoyed she continues to text someone politely and even met up with someone who she admits is a "bit of a sleaze", when she knows it pisses me off. She says she's made it perfectly clear she isn't interested and that he wouldn't dare say some of the flirty stuff he says via text to her face. She said she didn't have that many mates at home over Christmas (which is true) and only met him because he was nice enough to help fix her car and she didn't tell me because she thought it would upset me (I have SAD and had a few family issues over xmas) and didn't want to worry me. I'm not enough of a **** to demand she stops seeing to guy, but in her position I think I'd cut contact with him if I knew it bothered her. And personally, I wouldn't want to be mates with someone that text me inappropriately, cos I'd feel uncomfortable about it.

    Any comments/advice on how to proceed.

    But you are enough of a **** to make distrustful, patronising 'suggestions' behind her back? Suggestions like, err, cutting all forms of contact with a mate because you're feeling intimidated?

    (Original post by Hana_87)
    She obviously likes the attention she gets from him. I've been in her position and i've only replied and let it carry on if i do actually fancy the guy - if i didn't i'd tell him to stop texting me.
    Listen to this girl.
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    Yh, i would piss me off aswell but then again their is no harm as long as they are mates ryt..x
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    Maybe if you'd of "Been the man" You would of fixed her car for her and then this would never of taken place.
    Thank about it.
    • #1
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    #1

    She isn't cheating on me - I can rule that out. I just told her I didn't think she had made it clear enough she didn't like receiving these sort of texts if he continues to do it. This was more just a see-if-there's-anything-more-I-can-do kinda thread.

    Thanks for the comments guys. I think the only reason this is bothering me so much is due to a combination of other issues - exam stress, her lack of sex drive over the past 9 months etc. etc. Everything just seems to be snowballing and I'm getting more and more annoyed and frustrated without feeling like our problems are being resolved.
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    (Original post by Jeester)
    Maybe if you'd of "Been the man" You would of fixed her car for her and then this would never of taken place.
    Thank about it.
    Pretty difficult when I'm 4 hours away because we're both at our family homes over Christmas. :rolleyes:
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    Punch him.
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    One time I got a sleazy comment over facebook chat from a male friend.

    I mentioned politely (not sure how I managed this, but I seem to remember it was good convo skills ) that I had a boyfriend

    He went into crazy apologise mode - and I said "hey don't worry about it I've already forgotten" something along those lines.

    Then.. maybe a day later.. another sleazy comment. I was a little less patient this time and asked him if he could cut it out, it's a bit uncomfortable for me etc.

    In the end, I couldn't stop this guy from continually trying it on. He wasn't like this when I knew him in life - obviously a little more confident via facebook.

    Suffice it to say: I relayed these comments to my boyfriend, much to our mutual amusement; and eventually I just had to block this guy. Even if my boyfriend didn't give a damn - I don't appreciate creepy comments from guys I don't fancy when I'm not reciprocating/actually asking him politely to stop.


    Perhaaps your girlfriend is just different, and it's arguably a bit of a grey area/personal opinion whether she's behaving badly.. but that's just my perspective on how would behave in that situation - and I think I have a pretty happy healthy trusting relationship.
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    #2

    On thinking on it:

    Either she just doesn't care, and is behaving badly

    Or perhaps, she is just a bit too polite/too shy/ too appeasing in conversations, and cannot bring herself to be what she would consider rude towards him (even if he is behaving unfairly)

    I guess you can decide based on what you know about her personality.
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    Hate girls like that.

    EDIT: I meant guys.
 
 
 
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