trying to fit in?!

so...just had a major bust up with mum, with her comin up to me and tellin me that i do too much to try and please the crowd i hang around with. i totally denied it at the time, but now i think about it, maybe i do a little bit, just to try and fit in. but is that such a bad thing?? maybe by trying & fitting in with new people, you acquire new interests, discover things you mite not have done had you not tried it?!?!! what do u guys think??

Reply 1

*starry_eyed_*

14

i think everyone does this at some point, but perhaps we are not aware of it, so don't worry! its ok to try to fit in with the crowd, just as long as you know who you are, put aside. :smile:

Reply 2

Talya

16

ickleangel

i totally denied it at the time, but now i think about it, maybe i do a little bit, just to try and fit in. but is that such a bad thing??

Yes

ickleangel

maybe by trying & fitting in with new people, you acquire new interests, discover things you mite not have done had you not tried it?!?!! what do u guys think??

Only someone who is trying too hard would think that :p:

Discovering new things to do or that you like should be done with like minded people, your friends. If you are indeed trying to hard, then all these new 'interests' people are introducing you too, you won't really like, but will do anyway. If you do enjoy them, then I guess you aren't trying to hard. Just be yourself and don't let anyone make you do something you don't want to do.

Reply 3

Billistic

1

2 words: Be yourself.

Reply 4

Annik

2

haha.. i said this thread title and soooo was thinking this would be about something else.. i hav SUCH a perverted mind! :redface:

Reply 5

Sopheh

13

Annik

haha.. i said this thread title and soooo was thinking this would be about something else.. i hav SUCH a perverted mind! :redface:

LOL, just got what you meant... you perve! :biggrin:

Reply 6

Annik

2

Sopheh

LOL, just got what you meant... you perve! :biggrin:

i can't believe no one else was thinking it!!! THE SHAME...

Reply 7

Mark S

17

To say "be yourself" is all well and good, but, its easier said then done. Its sometimes hard to get away from doing something when all your friends insist on it.

Reply 8

hypomania

10

It's not so bad, but don't let it get to the point where you don't have your own mind and blindly follow what everyone else is doing. It's a bit like religion...

<runs and hides>

Reply 9

saz_1989

2

If I want to do something, I do it, even if it's not what everyone else is doing. My friends thought I was weird and sad for wearing a LiveStrong band since last July: now look at how popular it is. I wear what I like and look good in, I do my own thing, if I don't want to do something I don't. But if a friend recommended something to me and I'd never done it before, say a random sport, then I'd do it. I'd never do anything to fit in with the crowd. I'm happy to try new things, but I'll do them regardless of whether no one's doing them, or everyone's doing them.

I think you only follow the crowd if you're not comfortable being yourself.

Reply 10

Jump

18

Lauren

If I want to do something, I do it, even if it's not what everyone else is doing... I wear what I like and look good in, I do my own thing, if I don't want to do something I don't. But if a friend recommended something to me and I'd never done it before, say a random sport, then I'd do it. I'd never do anything to fit in with the crowd. I'm happy to try new things, but I'll do them regardless of whether no one's doing them, or everyone's doing them.

I think you only follow the crowd if you're not comfortable being yourself.

Ditto to pretty much all that.

From my experience most people worth knowing wouldn't really care if you do things that may be considered 'different' every once in a while.

Reply 11

ickleangel

OP

1

i'm not saying i was followin th crowd to such an extent that i didnt have my own brain!!! oooh that would be really bad!!! i've always thort that i was individual NEways, bein th only musical, chinese girl with a western attitude in my friendship group, its gona be hard to camoflauge!! lol. :p:

Reply 12

Saffie

11

Hmm, I suppose I took up drinking to 'fit in' really, and found I enjoyed it! The worst case of me trying to fit in was at a party when EVERYONE was smoking, I did. And I kind of liked it :redface:

Though I wouldn't make a habit of it, and I've been with the same group again and they've been really understanding that I didn't and were actually saying that I really shouldn't take it up. Sometimes being different is cool too. But I generally live by a 'you should try everything once' attitude.

Reply 13

Apricot Fairy

16

Sometimes you just want to go with the flow, even if everyone else is doing something differently to how you usually do. Especially if you're with a crowd of people you don't know very well. But I wouldn't do anything I felt was wrong, just to fit in.

Reply 14

dogtanian

16

Everyone follows the crowd to an extent.

If you notice yourself doing it too often, then perhaps worry that you're not being yourself...

OP

hear hear!!

I think it was the whole 'getting pissed' scenario when I was younger. I did it because one group of friends I perceived as cool were doing it- & in the end I liked it. It relaxed me a lot more, & even though I know that alcohol can be bad, I'm sensible[ish] & have made a whole new group of fantastic friends & has given me much needed confidence.

Reply 17

zhivago

2

haha.. i said this thread title and soooo was thinking this would be about something else.. i hav SUCH a perverted mind!

I thought similar, with the "I do stuff to myself thread..." - so dissapointed with that one!

To the actual thread, erm, I don't really. I'm not really arsed. I don't say this to sound pretentious, but who's bothered? It would be foolish to think anybody cares that much about how you sound/dress/look like...just be yourself.

Reply 18

Gexko

2

zhivago

I thought similar, with the "I do stuff to myself thread..." - so dissapointed with that one!

To the actual thread, erm, I don't really. I'm not really arsed. I don't say this to sound pretentious, but who's bothered? It would be foolish to think anybody cares that much about how you sound/dress/look like...just be yourself.