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    I am very confused right now so any help would be greatly appreciated.

    I am in my second term at the University of Reading, but have felt pretty miserable since I got back after xmas. I feel as if I have realised what is important and just want to be home with my family and long term boyfriend.

    I have been upset a lot, and no longer feel like going out or being social at all.

    I still want to get a degree though, as I know I am capable. Maybe this just isnt the right place for me to do it. My course is okay, but I do feel as if I am struggling and don't know as much as the other people. I know I shouldnt compare myself to others but it seems impossible.

    Really don't want to let anyone down though as I believe a lot of people are proud of me for being the first in my family to go to university.

    Thinking of transferring to a uni closer to home at the end of this year, and the university said they will accept me. Although this means I have to complete UCAS again and write a whole new personal statement and input everything again.

    Also need to make a decision pretty soon, as I need to commit to living with people next year if I am going to stay- or make arrangements if I am going home.
    Anyone been through anything similar? Or have an opinion?
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    Anyone?? x
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    complete ucas again, it will be worth it in the long run. definitly transfer, thats obvisly what you want to do!
    you dont really have much of a problem tbh, just do ucas again, the uni willl accept and you can take reading as a valuble year as you learnt whats really important to you!
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    Is there no way you can finish your year at Reading and then transfer to the other uni for the start of second year? Then it won't be a year wasted.
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    (Original post by Ham22)
    can you cope with the next 2.5 years in reading?

    -yes? then stay.
    -no? then transfer.
    At the moment I believe not. I have got myself into a state where I am upset all the time. However if I knew I was changing at the end of this year I believe it would give me something to feel positive about.

    I have booked an appointment today with an adviser at my university so hoping my may be able to help me out.

    Not looking forward to UCAS again though, if that is the route I choose to take.

    And yes the university at home said it would be possible to transfer straight into second year there which is a bonus.

    Just dont want to make a decision I may regret? I want to be 100%

    Thanks everyone,
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    Unfortunately for me, I can sympathise 100%.
    I had a good time bfore christmas, but then getting bck here made me realise just how much I love being at home with my family.
    To compromise I'm staying at this uni, but finding somewhere to live closer to home then I can visit more often. I'm fairly close to home as it is, but if I lived closer I'd be able to see my family a couple of times a week..

    ahh it's horrible.
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    Firstly, don't worry about other people, Uni is one of the most important times in your life and, uniquely, one of the few that is entirely for you. If you're not enjoying it then it's time to leave.

    As someone in a similar position I think choosing a university closer to home would make all the difference and if you feel as if you're struggling with the course having those closest to you to help you out and to listen to your concerns is the best way to bolster your confidence. So what if you don't understand as much as the people around you? You are not them. University is about doing things your way, at your speed. You may find that you know things about your course that they don't remember, different information sticks in different people's minds.

    Talk to your teachers or tutors about how they can help you- it's what they're there for, it's there job- and if they're no help go to someone higher because they're not doing right. However you have to remember that Uni is about self-learning, try and highlight the areas you have the most difficulty with (and don't say everything) then go through your course texts, or pop down to the library, and make a little sheet of what you feel is relevant.

    Don't try copying out the whole book- though this is tempting it'll just make you feel insignificant in the face of the mammoth task of remembering it all. Try to pick out the important point that links the othe points together then use it as a title to hang those points on.
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    If you think about it, terms make up ~ 30 weeks of the year. For the sake of argument, let's involve study leave and reading weeks, and say you're at uni for approximately half the year. Do you think you can hold on for 6 months to get 6 months off and at home with your family and boyfriend? Of actual term time left, it's not 2.5years, which sounds quite daunting. It's more like a year and a bit.

    I'm like you, I decided to stick it out, and while I'm not going to graduate saying I had the time of my life, I'm not utterly miserable all the time, and I'm at least hoping to pass and graduate with a worthy degree so I can start to pay off my debt, and know I did something worthwhile for those 3 years.

    That was with regards to dropping out - if a transfer is available at a uni closer to home, then I see absolutely no reason in staying where you are. It wasn't possible for me, as my course is quite specialised from the word go! Only you know yourself. If you know that this is the beginning of a sliding scale of motivation and happiness, then yes, drop out or transfer to a university closer to home (transfers become a lot more difficult after first year, so think about it properly).

    All the best OP, I hope you feel better x
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    I have just got back from seeing an adviser, in the student support centre.
    This was a big step for me as I am very reluctant to go and ask for help, it makes me extremely anxious.
    However I did find it quite helpful in that she said I am being sensible in what I am doing at the moment- i.e. not committing to living with anyone next year, talking things over with my parents and keeping my options open. She also mentioned though that my grades will probably suffer if I am not happy here/ have no motivation and there is no point making myself miserable.
    Mentioned about transferring and she said the other uni was fairly good. I think she believed the main shock to my system is that I am from a small village & small secondary school and stayed there for my A levels, and now I have come to a big uni.
 
 
 
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