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muslim boyfriend. watch

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    (Original post by Lewk)
    Oh religion..... :facepalm:
    some people still need welcoming into the 21st century :/
    As far as I can see, this is nothing to do with religion. This guy has taken culture and sterotypes and is selling it as Islam. She said herself that he's not a Muslim-- so there you go.
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    well firstly form a Muslim perspective he shouldn't even be having a relationship outside marriage, it seems as if he's picking and choosing what he wants to follow and expects you to follow what he chooses to.

    Which is abit hypocritical, seeing as his not practising/religious. many people would say it's okay what he's telling you to do but thats only if you were a Muslim, seeing as your not I think he needs to compromise with your views thats if you are you okay with not going clubbing, eating pork?? etc if not bring it up with him.

    I personally think it will be hard to work at this r.ship unless you learn to compromise- between cultural/religious beliefs.
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    Hey what "type" of Kurdish is he?


    Lol I'm the type from Turkey and if he is too, then well he's really a typical one trying to act all holy while doing thing obviously against the religion. Either way he shouldn't be with you anyway. Also not eating pork/drinking in front of him or dancing/talking to guys in flirty way isn't that bad really I don't want my GF to dance with other guys either.


    /non giving a **** about my religion Kurdish guy.
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    I think you're doing the right thing, if he's your man and he treats you right, you should respect and honour his beliefs and values.

    Also, if you see his reasons as fair and justified, then don't even think twice about your friends opinions.
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    most of the people replying in this thread are making it out as if he is going to kill you or something if you dont abide by his beliefs.

    Clearly he seems like a decent guy, and not so strict. But obviously he has those qualities he looks for in a girl; and if you feel that kind of lifestyle doesnt suit you then theres no point going forward with this.

    But having said that, if you want to be with him and dont mind giving up on some stuff, then its your decision. As i said, hes not going to dictate your life and he definitely seems like he doesnt want to either, so it is your decision.
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    If he thinks like that, he probably wants you to become an observant Muslims at some point if it's serious. And it soundslike it is.
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    If he wants you to respect his religion... he should respect it himself first.

    He wants to flout it himself, but enforce it on someone who is not muslim and that leaves only one word to describe him: hypocrite.

    (no matter how unobservant he is, long term, he WILL want you to convert and become a "good muslim girl". Either that or he is not in it for the long term.)
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    Actually, I'm kurdish and most of what the OP said is not actualy religous, but cultural....so...sit down and have a talk with him, but you must realise that a man MUST provide FULLY for his family/wife/girlfriend and so that means paying for you everywhere...
    The no clubbing thing, I would say is for your safety and also, if you have a bf....why go anyway...
    I would say the pork one may be a bit far, but this may mean he wants to commit to a long term relationship....
    also, on the talking to men bit...it doesn't mean you can't talk to male friends etc. but more...don't start chatting with the bloke who has been eyeing you and wants to get into your pants or whatever
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    (Original post by orange-phone1919)
    I know alot theres alot of negative comments on muslims, but i don't think its right of me, or anyone, to tell people a certion culture/religion is wrong
    unless its objectively a load of b/s like islam
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    you don't need to proclaim you have a muslim boyfriend, woopdiddidoo. srsly, sort it out yourself irl, your own issues, in your own relationship, etc.
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    I have a muslim boyfriend and I eat whatever I want, I drink as much as I want and go clubbing whenever I like. I respect his beliefs, I respect the fact he doesn't drink alcohol or eat haram food and he respects mine. I don't understand why it can't work out? We've never had a problem before. If he were to tell me to stop eating pork or drinking alcohol then I would leave.
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    (Original post by orange-phone1919)
    My boyfriends Kurdish and is a Muslim, and im arab/english and not religious.

    Since he is muslim/his culture/how he was raised he doesn't believe his girlfriend (me) should go clubbing/wear slutty clothes (dont anyway), go out all night, talk to men, doesn't like me eating pork.

    My english friends tell me he's controlling, the thing is, although i know im not muslim, i know he is and i think if im with him i should respect his religion, and although i get pissed off sometimes, i think it is his culture and part of mine.

    My question is, hopefully to muslim men, is this ok really? I know its his relgion and he loves me very much but doesn't like me doing what he says 'bad things', he doesn't like me going out at night as its dangourus.

    I am at uni, and he doesn't care if i live in halls/have a job/go to uni and he doesn't really want me to be a housewife, cooking/cleaning etc. And he inists he pays for everything as its just is culture. So its not like, really relious, but some things he thinks are wrong due to his belifs and reliogion, does this make him a bad person, as an english friend of mine says it is controlling?

    All im saying is we have cultural differences, im not a big clubber/drinker etc. In westen countries if a man doensn't want you to go out at night/clubbing/drinking etc, its controlling, but in middle eastern countires if a women did this, it would be Haram (sorry can't spell..).

    I know alot theres alot of negative comments on muslims, but i don't think its right of me, or anyone, to tell people a certion culture/religion is wrong (unless its killing/raping etc.) although i dont agree with some stuff in the Qu'ran, i just think it would be wrong of me to tell my bf, i don't care about your faith im going to gte pissed, get pork and dance with men, and although its not my faith i don't think its really his fault as its how he is, and almost all the muslims i know.

    Tbh with you relationships are about compromise, as long as you think he has valid reasons to stop you from doing certain things, then that should be fine, but if you do not want to stop doing certain things then that's something you should speak to him about, because regardless of whatever anyone here says, no one will provide you with a solution to this problem, only he can. The choice you have to make is whether you can put up with him not wanting you to do certain things, or you can try and reach a compromise somehow. Good luck!
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    (Original post by just.browsing)
    If he wants you to respect his religion... he should respect it himself first.
    This.
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    What are you doing to yourself? If he is not 'religious' then he shouldn't be imposing certain religious beliefs and rules on you. Especially if its annoying YOU (as you've stated).

    If you like him, stay with him. But don't let him make you feel miserable.
    If you can accept his culture then he should accept the aspects on your life which differ from his. The 'not eating pork' thing is really frustrating, I don't think him you should let him influence your eating habits. Alcohol I can understand .. I mean he may feel slightly nervous about you drinking with him around BUT the pork think is silly and controlling. Plus, how the hell is he gonna know?

    To an extent, your friends are right, I hate to say it you, but he is controlling you but only because you are giving him the upper hand.

    Simply tell him, that you respect him and his religion but his got to give that respect in return and let you be and do what YOU want. Its only fair!

    Anyway, good luck
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    Part of every relatinship is sacrifice. It seems to me that he wants you to do all the sacrificing... but doesn't want to make any himself. I don't personally see this working out if you do not share the same beliefs as he does. Muslims have pretty intense beliefs and I imagine it would be hard to date someone who wasn't muslim.

    Don't do things or stop doing things you like for some guy. He either accepts you as you are, or he doesn't. Simple as that. If he wants you to act a different way than you do, then he doesn't really accept you for who you are. You don't go into a relationship expecting to mold someone into who you want them to be...
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    (Original post by orange-phone1919)
    My boyfriends Kurdish and is a Muslim, and im arab/english and not religious.

    Since he is muslim/his culture/how he was raised he doesn't believe his girlfriend (me) should go clubbing/wear slutty clothes (dont anyway), go out all night, talk to men, doesn't like me eating pork.

    My english friends tell me he's controlling, the thing is, although i know im not muslim, i know he is and i think if im with him i should respect his religion, and although i get pissed off sometimes, i think it is his culture and part of mine.

    My question is, hopefully to muslim men, is this ok really? I know its his relgion and he loves me very much but doesn't like me doing what he says 'bad things', he doesn't like me going out at night as its dangourus...

    ...All im saying is we have cultural differences, im not a big clubber/drinker etc. In westen countries if a man doensn't want you to go out at night/clubbing/drinking etc, its controlling, but in middle eastern countires if a women did this, it would be Haram (sorry can't spell..).
    My fiance is a Turk and is, nominally, a muslim, although a fairly lax one. He's fairly similar to be honest - especially on the pork issue (I don't eat it anyway, so no big sacrifice) and going out in the evenings, and from my experiences (I live in Turkey for about 6 months of the year, in England for uni terms), most are.

    The problem is that a lot of Kurds and Turks simply don't quite know how to deal with the Western lifestyle, no matter how much of it they may observe (my fiance owns a hotel which caters for a fair amount of Brits on the med and did his degree in England and still can't quite bring himself to understanding it). Respectable, old fashioned, wife material Turkish and Kurdish women wouldn't have to be asked not to do these things, so they can come across as controlling as they want you to be respectable to their standards, especially in front of parents.
 
 
 
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