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i have nobody to hang out with in college :( Watch

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    i keep reassuring myself that this will change with time, however, approximately half of my first year in college has gone, and im still finding myself having to go home during lunch breaks.

    im not socially retarded or anything, i mean i can hold a convo and to be honest, i enjoy meeting people. i just dont know why i've ended up in this situation, and it's really getting to me now.

    has anybody else been here? what did you do and what advice do you give me? none of my secondary school friends are with me here.

    im a guy if that has any relevance.
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    Its very common. I went to a college where virtually none of my secondary school went to. And coincidentally everyone there more or less knew each other from their old schools so didn't bother socialising.
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    Don't go home at lunch? I'm sure you've talked to people in some of your lessons? You could spend your lunchtimes with them; get to know them better.

    If only I took my own advice...
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    it feels weird. i've always found a group of friends to hang around with, whether it was secondary school, primary school or extra-curricular stuff.

    half the year has gone and im still a loner? that cant be right
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    i had the same thing, didnt make a single friend in my first year at college, sat around on my own a lot and only really went in for lessons. unfortunately its up to you to go out and socialize with other people, maybe join a club, talk to the people in your lessons, heck just come clean and say you're a bit lonely, thats what i did and i've not exactly got the best of friends now, but i know people and talk to a few people at least
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    (Original post by + polarity -)
    Don't go home at lunch? I'm sure you've talked to people in some of your lessons? You could spend your lunchtimes with them; get to know them better.

    If only I took my own advice...
    lunch bell rings and everyone's in their own little batch of people i don't know. surely i cant just walk up to them and start talking without it looking weird?
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    (Original post by YL_LDN)
    Its very common. I went to a college where virtually none of my secondary school went to. And coincidentally everyone there more or less knew each other from their old schools so didn't bother socialising.
    this is the exact same situation im in

    what did u do about it?
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    Just talk to people in your classes, maybe start a convo about the work or subject, then move on to what's your name and other stuff. Hopefully you'll soon gain some new friends. Also, being on your own isn't too bad, I have lots of friends but sometimes I just prefer hanging by myself. Remember that college is mainly for getting an education and qualifications more than making friends. But yeah, just hang in there and good luck.
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    Talk about the weather m8, always works.
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    Find a small group of people of which you know someone.
    people like to moan
    Ask if you can sit with them for a few minutes break the ice with a good moan about work, teachers or whatever. Be yourself ect.
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    (Original post by secret000)
    this is the exact same situation im in

    what did u do about it?

    since you carry no social value in the college people will be hesitant if you come across as alone and kinda desperate. I just went for drinks and stuff with people but nothing serious, wait it out and work bloody hard on your a-levels.
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    (Original post by secret000)
    i keep reassuring myself that this will change with time, however, approximately half of my first year in college has gone, and im still finding myself having to go home during lunch breaks.

    im not socially retarded or anything, i mean i can hold a convo and to be honest, i enjoy meeting people. i just dont know why i've ended up in this situation, and it's really getting to me now.

    has anybody else been here? what did you do and what advice do you give me? none of my secondary school friends are with me here.

    im a guy if that has any relevance.
    Well I'm originally from London then moved to Liverpool during my teens then back to London to study my A-levels. There was noone I knew in school but I overcame it by hanging out with my classmates. Pretty soon doing the same stuff they're doing and yeah..just get involved.

    I think the best start for you would be to join some clubs like the chess club, sports, gym...I don't know- just anything where there's people.
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    (Original post by secret000)
    lunch bell rings and everyone's in their own little batch of people i don't know. surely i cant just walk up to them and start talking without it looking weird?
    Yes, you should. Bring a box of Fingers if you need to.
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    (Original post by fox_the_fix)
    Talk about the weather m8, always works.
    This haa
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    I would've probably been in the same dilema in my 6th form if it hadn't been for my nationality, which is somewhat amusing. Asian segregation ftw?

    But I can totally understand where OP is coming from. I moved to another school for 6th form and everyone had already formed their social groups. I talked with some people if we generally share interests within the lesson, but not so much outside. I just look for my group and they do the same with theirs. I think sharing common ground would work, its why I talk to the people in lessons and I guess why we dont hang around is because I don't really push as I dont feel the need to.
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    argh i dont know what to do its boring
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    (Original post by secret000)
    argh i dont know what to do its boring
    don't worry about it, seriously

    I had lots of good friends at sixth form and through school but moved to a different college where I didn't know anyone and it seemed lots of people knew everyone. It wasn't till the 2nd year that I really started to get to know people... I would always see the same people in the library during breaks sometimes (I was just on the computer a lot haha) and so I just started talking to them about the work, and by the end of the 2nd year I was decent friends with a good number of people

    Came to Uni and fortunately I got talking to people in Maths early on and made some good friends, so if it doesn't happen for you I'm sure it will at Uni! Just make sure you do well etc. and concentrate on your studies in the knowledge that you'll get to Uni and hopefully things will be back to normal - a lot of people won't know each other there, and everyone is in the same boat! So it's much easier. :yep:
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    Facebook helps if you're already friendly with people. Just add people who won't think "Why the **** is he adding me?". Even better, let people see you on it then maybe they'll ask "Can I add you?" or whatever.
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    Life isn't easy and you have to learn how to be flexible and to accommodate yourself to the circumstances you don't like :cool: .

    Just have a little patience. It takes time to have friends, and I mean good friends who you will find beside you if you need help and not those "hi-bye" people.

    In the end you came to college to study. Keep this in mind and if not this semester then the next one you will get some friends, girlfriends...:yep:
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    I went to a college approximately twenty miles away from home and ended up spending every lunchtime walking around on my own (too far to go home). I had friends, but they all had other friends and preferred hanging around with them. I can't honestly say I minded, because I got time to think which I just wouldn't have got elsewhere. It was a bit lonely though.
 
 
 
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