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I can't get over him, still! watch

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    I've been on dates, started new courses, made new friends... even started moving towards different career, volunteering for more things, but at times when I'm sleeping and stuff I can't stop thinking about him. It's ruining the relationships I'm trying to form now. It's horrible. It's like trying to imagine a happy field in a prison cell. Every night I think about if he's no longer thinking about me. On New Years I imagined him sleeping with someone else, and I just broke down and didn't enjoy myself in the end. I hate him so much and doesn't realise what he's doing to me

    He obviously broke up with me. It took me 4 months to wrangle an excuse from him after the shock revelation, and he said he needed to move on. I've never felt like this about anyone before.
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    how old are you? its all part of growing up, the older you get the more you will be able to manage your emotions. Everyone goes through that at some point, dont worry just live your life, time will be the best healer
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    See what I mean? It looks like I'm some love sick teenager right? I'm 23. I've had 4 other relationships yet I've never been this unhappy about them ending. I don't understand... am I just getting more and more hurt than building up the resistance I thought I had?
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    <did type a long reply, but deleted as im not sure it helped!> sorry
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    Is it something harsh? Any reply is welcome, I guess...
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    What jermaindefoe said, and if you still love him why not get back together? unless the breakup was over something serious?
    and are you in a relationship now?
    Quote "I can't stop thinking about him. It's ruining the relationships I'm trying to form now. It's horrible."
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    Well, I've seen him a few times since, and he's completely ignored me, even in a group setting. He then started texting me saying "that's funny, I sometimes get turned on by you still". Charming. I'm not in a relationship at the moment, but I've been on dates and maybe something might become of it, but I become mistrustful and scared. I can't be myself fully in that way anymore, and I feel happy on the date but scared afterwards, like I can't do this. It's horrible.
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    Oh, and he said it'd be alright if we still sleep together at times, just that we know where we stand. I did bring it up, admittedly, thinking that was the only way he'd talk to me again, and it was as it happened (only through text, he'd never call me). I haven't seen him since but he wants to arrange something...
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    #2

    The way you are now, I would NOT sleep with him. No way.

    I've done sex with an ex and it only worked because had both moved on and we were just satisfying our physical needs.

    Dunno what to say about the rest. Hope you feel better soon :hugs:
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    Ye, I thought as much. We arranged something a while into the future so I thought it'd help, i.e. get over him by this date. I can't just drift into other things, I need to have faint deadlines to adhere to. Just finding it harder than I thought. Is there anything else I can do? I don't even live near him so am not in contact with him at all atm. it's just things that remind me of him.
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    Unfortunately, what you are experiencing is something that everyone experiences in life and it is not pleasant, I have been there and so have a lot of other people reading. You will get over it, that is the first thing I would say, but there are things you can do to help the situation. Firstly, you need to make a conscious effort to avoid contact with him, that means not texting him as you have been doing, emailing him, facebooking him and all that sort of stuff. Certainly don't meet up for sex....that will make things far worse. You also need to try to stop thinking about him, that means when he does enter your head try and think about something else. I know it is not easy, but think about the fact that he has treated you badly and how he has behaved. If he was really for you would he have treated you like that? Finally, although you have said that it is stopping you doing things you need to move on with your new friends, courses, relationships etc. It will take time and you will move on, but you need to make an effort yourself to move on otherwise it will take longer than necessary. Good luck.
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    (Original post by MMA)
    Unfortunately, what you are experiencing is something that everyone experiences in life and it is not pleasant, I have been there and so have a lot of other people reading. You will get over it, that is the first thing I would say, but there are things you can do to help the situation. Firstly, you need to make a conscious effort to avoid contact with him, that means not texting him as you have been doing, emailing him, facebooking him and all that sort of stuff. Certainly don't meet up for sex....that will make things far worse. You also need to try to stop thinking about him, that means when he does enter your head try and think about something else. I know it is not easy, but think about the fact that he has treated you badly and how he has behaved. If he was really for you would he have treated you like that? Finally, although you have said that it is stopping you doing things you need to move on with your new friends, courses, relationships etc. It will take time and you will move on, but you need to make an effort yourself to move on otherwise it will take longer than necessary. Good luck.


    Spot the psychologist
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    (Original post by exursist)
    Spot the psychologist
    Thanks for the compliment.
 
 
 
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