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Long distance relationships watch

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    How can you make things work out and what if it gets really serious?
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    That's a pretty big question!

    I guess you just have to make sure you're both keen to make it work and work hard at it.
    Keep in contact all the time and keep contact detailed. The more vague you are, the harder work it is, so keep updating each other on what's happening in your lives whilst you're apart. Really cherish the time you have together when you are together.
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    Try to talk to eachother at least once a day, even if it is about something completely irrelevent.
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    i'm in one : )
    it was really hard at 1st, and still is, but it's getting a little easier.
    we talk every day, even if only by text.
    and say goodnight most nights.
    and talk online if we're both online at the same time...
    i'd say keeping in contact then!
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    Also, things like both sharing online diaries (both, as in, when each other's lectures are, and also what each other is feeling) can help.
    Hmm, meet up as often as you can without neglecting other commitments, keep in contact, send letters or gifts...
    :erm: maybe get a webcam and Skype?
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    Most important is: Keep in contact. Try not to think about other people you could possibly be interested in. Talk about everything, be honest to each other. Meet each other whenever comfortably possible, don't spend all your money and more on it though. But think about what you both want in life: Is there, one day, a possibility of you moving closer to each other? If not, I probably wouldn't even bother, as harsh as it sounds. It's a great experience but it's also time- and money-consuming, so you need to really want it.
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    I've been in one for almost four years, won't be long distance anymore come this summer. But we're perfect, he's my best friend and despite not physically being here a lot of the time, he's always the person I'd call if I needed anything. I think regular contact is the best way of handling it. Plus of course, making the absolute most of time you do get together. Keeping them as part of your life - ie, making sure they know silly things like what time you're at uni/work or who you're out with, just so they don't feel excluded... I don't know, it doesn't work for a lot of people and I'd say it's been far from perfect for me over the past few years but it's been worth it.
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    The one thing I would say is that you have to be completely sure that you want to be with this person, or that you might want to be. I know it's not plausible when you're only just starting to date someone, but you need to know you like them a lot, and be ruthless if you realise that you don't like him enough. There's no way I'd have stayed in an LDR for the last 2 years with my partner if I didn't think that he's the one I'll spend my life - or a significant portion of it - with. But then I knew my partner for 2 years as a friend beforehand, so it was slightly different, so I may be being a bit harsh! If you only vaguely think you might like to be with him, it's probably not worth it - whereas with other relationships you can date and try out and see who 'fits' with you, with an LDR it's a lot more effort and strain straight away, so it's harder. It's also money- and time- consuming, as a previous poster said.

    Yes, the contact thing is important. One of the main feelings you get is not being fully involved in their life as you're not physically, so even the most inane of details takes on more importance! I skype my partner daily if I have time, and if not every other day/couple of days, and we text daily quite a lot. Try not to let it get in the way of your separate life at home, or his - don't cancel things and stay in and socialise less because you miss him, or because you might get to talk to him - I'm guilty of this, and I know it'd be a hell of a lot easier if I didn't do it! You need to fill your time when you're not seeing him.
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    Till November I am in one and have been for almost 7 months now. Talk to each other regularly, let them know what you're up to. Share a common interest, whether it be some silly online game or a sport, so you always have something to talk about, meet up whenever possible but realise that it can get expensive, so not to be upset when suddenly seeing each other goes from every weekend, to a weekend every 2 weeks, to a weekend every month and then onto a weekend every 3 to 4 months and not being sure when the next time you'll see them will be. The hardest thing, imo, about an LDR is when the other person goes home/ you go home and either not knowing when the next time you will see each other will be, or it being weeks/months off, but it gets easier. I saw my partner this weekend, and the next time will be in April. From now until November I will see him a max. number of 3 times. But we both really want this to work, which helps, and I guess now that we a time frame that our LDR will be over things are far easier for us .
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    I find it helps if you keep yourself busy. Then you don't waste time speculating about why he isn't calling you and what he might be doing, and then you have more to talk about when you talk. If you've been waiting all day for him to come online or to call you, you won't have anything to tell him about your day! So if you're on a gap year, get a job or take a class or something so you're not just sitting at home!
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    (Original post by Maria91)
    I find it helps if you keep yourself busy. Then you don't waste time speculating about why he isn't calling you and what he might be doing, and then you have more to talk about when you talk. If you've been waiting all day for him to come online or to call you, you won't have anything to tell him about your day! So if you're on a gap year, get a job or take a class or something so you're not just sitting at home!
    :ditto: This, especially - it's very easy to constantly think about what your partner is up to. Plus, when your only way of contact is through the phone/online, it gets a little unnerving when they called you much later than usual... and of course it doesn't necessarily mean anything bad, it's just easy to think about it the wrong way if you have too much time to think.

    Also, trust is really important. If you know yourself you'll know whether or not you can trust your partner. Don't enter an LDR if you know you're prone to pretty bad jealousy and trust issues - it doesn't make you a bad person (because honestly, jealous personalities are difficult to change), it just means you are more suited to close-distance relationships.

    Anyway, good luck with your decision OP - I am sure you will know if it's worth it!
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    I've been in one for nearly four years (though 9 months of that was spent together travelling.) He lives in Manchester & I live down in Hertfordshire. We see each other on average about a weekend per month plus birthdays/Christmas/New Year/family & friends events. We speak to each other nearly every day on the phone, and text, when apart. It's been hard at times, but we're in love and it's still going strong!
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    I have had a logn distance realtionship for four years in feb. Hes my best friend.
    If you really love someone that match then it will autimatically work and you'll figure things out, don't fight your feelings!
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    I'm in a relatively long distance relationship at the moment, and spending more than what we do already on train tickets (£50+ per month) is pretty crazy :'). So we text and speak to each other on the phone everyday, even if it's only for half an hour, and it really does help . Even if it does get really serious, then that'll give you even more motivation to make it work . Don't let the distance get in the way of your feelings!
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    trust & communication is essential

    mine broke down through lack of communication & interest... it kind of just fizzled out
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    I'll be going into a long distance relationship this summer for 6/7 months, won't be able to have any physical contact though as he'll be over in Australia whilst I'm here... we've been together for 2 years so I'm hoping skype/texts/webcam will be good enough, however I'm in limbo about whether or not it's worth all the worry of what he could possibly be doing, and if he does meet someone I'd feel bad for being emotional baggage to him. Guess I'll just have to wait and see
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    yeah lol ano thing is tho that im gna be meeting the guy for the first time soon next week and im like kinda nervous i dnt know why though
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    If my relationship wasn't serious then I wouldn't even consider a long-distance relationship. It requires trust, communication, understanding and a large amount of effort to make it work. I think it would inevitably end in disaster if you weren't in a very solid relationship to begin with.
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    Speaking from experience, don't bother.

    Everything seems good, but then you get your phone bill which instead of £25 is £300. That goes down well with the parents.
    Then after 4 months they tell you they have been seeing 2 people behind your back.
    When this happens you end up stripped of your confidence and self worth, leaving you lifeless, useless and down. That feeling does not subdue for a long time and as you slip further into that partner inspired black hole, getting out gets harder. It was 3 ******* years till i got over that.

    Do it if you want but i know for sure I would never again put myself through that.
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    he is from nottingham and i am from glasgow bt he has told me that he is serious about this relationship and also that he may want to take it further in the future...
 
 
 
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