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    Anon just cos i don't want anyone i know to see me having a moan :p:

    I've been seeing my boyfriend for around 3 months or so now, at the start he put in loads of effort to see me, text me lots etc and all was good. He went home for christmas for 3/4 weeks, and lives abroad so i couldn't visit, and we kept in good contact and stuff, but since he's come back i feel like he just isn't putting the effort in anymore- I've seen for 4 hours in the 2 weeks he's been back.
    I know his degree requires a lot of work, and i understand this- i prioritise work as well. But i still feel like he could at least make room in his day or evening to spend time with me. It's making me feel like he just doesn't want to see me perhaps- but then i know he genuinely does like me and wants to be with me.
    I don't want to be a nag or sound clingy, i realise guys just generally get a bit slack after a while, and i'm not expecting to see him everyday, but more than once a week would be good!
    Problem is i've already mentioned to him how i feel- like he doesn't want to see me and we haven't spent anytime together, so he had the opportunity to tell me if anything was up, and he still insisted it was just because of his workload. So do i bring it up again? Or perhaps it's just a matter of me either putting up with being put 2nd or telling him i can't be with someone who can't devote enough time to the relationship? What would you do? Sorry for the long rant, i just am really torn as to what to do! Thanks.
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    Yes.
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    Maybe you should go see him? put some effort in rather then relying on him to do it all...yeah?
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    It's exam time at the moment, right? I'd just see how it is after exams as to be honest, sometimes it really is that they're just busy with work and he may well prioritise it more than you do.
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    inb4 "he sounds like a jerk. dump him"
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    Life's too short, if its too much effort the get rid and move on and find someone who does put the effort in, exam time or not, I would have thought he'd love the welcome distraction everynow and then?

    This one wouldn't be for me, remember that you're the most important person in the world and if he can't see it then he's a waste of your time and energy.
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    ugh i know how you feel, been with my boyfriend for around the same amount of time as you and it feels like i'm the only one in the relationship these days.
    Tell him to sort it out, or you'll leave him.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I feel like i do put the effort in though...he doesn't have a car here so i'm always driving to see him, always text first and ask to meet up. If he had exams then of course i would understand, but he doesn't, and it's not as if i'm sat around doing nothing- i'm busy and have my own uni work to do as well, but i still make time to see him.
    I did wonder if perhaps it might get better, but then his course is generally quite full on so maybe it won't. Am i really being unreasonable about this??
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    No you're not, you're going out of your way and he's making excuses... he's clearly not feeling it and therefore you deserve someone that treats you better and wants to be with you just as much.
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    If you really like him I'd leave it for another month and see how it goes. Plus, it's Valentines day soon
 
 
 
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