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Why am I still hurting my girlfriend? watch

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    My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now and have had sex 5 times (we were both virgins before our first time together). Although, there is usually a couple weeks times in between when we have sex because of how it hurts her, making her not in the mood. From everything I've read, it seems that 4-5 times is the norm for sex to stop hurting for girls.

    My main question is this: Can the amount of time between having sex affect the amount of time it takes for sex to stop hurting the girl?

    I am by no means monsterously endowed. At just under 6 inches I believe I'm about average. I dont think lubrication is the problem (though we've never tried any) because she gets quite wet on her own. We always get plenty of foreplay and all that jazz in, so im pretty stumped as to what the issue could be.

    She insists its not a big deal and that she can just "deal with it"... but I'm truly sick of hurting her. Please help!
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    If there's a bit of time in between, that can indeed be the reason.
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    Yeah my bf and I are long distance, so when we do get together, it takes a while for it to stop hurting again because of the gap in sessions. The more you have sex, the less painful it'll be. I would suggest trying lube though.
    • #1
    #1

    I'm in the same position as your gf - it's good to know I'm not alone
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    Try fingering rather than penis, see if she gets used to that. Then maybe step up.

    But yes, if you don't do it all at once, it doesn't change anything.
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    it never hurt me but you need to make sure she's ready cos i nearly did when i wasn't and i was terrified!! don't ask her for sex, wait until she comes to you. don't hint that you want sex or make her feel obliged cos whatever people might say it is a big deal and it is scary so just let her decide!!

    also, i agree that you need to take your time and let her get used to other activities.

    if you don't mind me asking, what position are you using cos some take more time to get used to than others and some are deeper and so can be more painful.

    some girls are just really sensitive so do all you can to make her feel loved and relaxed!!
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    She came to me the first and second time. We had talked about sex a few times before and I made it extremely clear that I wanted to wait till she was ready and that I wouldnt pressure her for it.

    I guess i forgot to mention in the first post that I do always finger her first to get her "warmed up" so to speak. Could part of the problem be that she gets off when I finger her before we have sex?

    We havent done any positions other than just missonary. I havent wanted to bring any other ones up until sex feels good for her. Just kinda seems mean otherwise.

    Dont worry, she knows how much I love her
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    I would say definitely try lube. I mean, sex has always hurt a little bit for me to begin with with my current boyfriend, but as soon as we started using lube, it helped a lot with the initial pain, and now I love sex And I know some people have an aversion to lube, seeing as they think it's insulting or something, but I was always really wet, and yet lube still helped. Hope this helps.
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    Luuuubricant. I'm addicted to that stuff
    (although I'll brag a bit - sex has NEVER hurt me - not even the first time )
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    It hurt me the first 3 times but we only waited a few days inbetween each. There was a bit of bleeding the first two times.

    I think you should have sex more often. Also, when you first penetrate and it hurts her, pull out and wait a minute or so and then try again.
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    Thanks for all the feedback and advice everyone! I'll definitely try out the lube. Any suggestions as to what kind may be best? And hopefully not break the bank too much :p:
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    Spit. :sexface:
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    (Original post by JD0550)
    Any suggestions as to what kind may be best? And hopefully not break the bank too much :p:
    I find that Durex Play: Feel works the best, as it's really silky, and the Tingle one was too sticky and burned a bit, rather than tingled And the Feel one is only about a fiver in Boots and Superdrug etc.
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    The boots brand lube is cheapest by the ml and works fine.

    So I have been told...
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    Lube works, sometimes (if you gf agrees) it just takes kinda pushing through the pain. It hurt me a bit at first but we went really slow and pushed through the pain and we have no trouble now.
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    Yeah the amount of time in between really makes a difference. The first like 8 times I had sex were fairly far apart and it hurt. Even now I'm always really sore the next day, whatever the size of the guy.
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    I'm the same as your gf.
    For many girls it just takes some breaking in and extra lube.

    However, if it does continue it could be worth suggesting she sees her doctor.
    There are conditions such as vaginismus which cause pain on penetration. It's unlikely as you can insert a finger but some women can 'fit' a finger painlessly but not a penis. It's very cureable.

    If she was to go on top she would be more in control of the depth and rate of sex, but that's her preference.

    Good luck to the both of you!
    • #2
    #2

    Not sure if OP will be able to get durex play or boots stuff in the US really.
    You should be able to get ID Glide though - and that's usually pretty good, it starts to dry out after about 10 minutes but it'll help with initial pain I'd have thought.
    • #3
    #3

    I agree with the above posters, also, if she orgasms when you finger her before you have sex she could be over sensitive. I generally get sore after i've orgasmed if we carry on.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in the same position as your gf - it's good to know I'm not alone
    And me.
 
 
 
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