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Ending a long term relationship for... no real reason? watch

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    So I've been going out with my bf for almost 2 years, through his first year at uni and part of mine now.

    We've always been long distance, but it's still been great, in a way its been a pretty clingy relationship. I owe so much to him for helping my through the bad times when I wasn't settled in to my first term and generally always being so kind to me.

    However what's happened recently is that I used to want to talk to him, see him and share things that happened in my day, and now that I'm enjoying uni I just don't. I wonder if I feel too young to have been with one person so long.

    We haven't been talking for a week which he's finding hard and I hate that he's upset. But I feel if we try to go back to normal I'll be forcing it and in a few weeks I'll decide not to talk much again. I don't know if some time apart would help me realise more who I am as a person... but I'm really scared to lose him. I don't know, opinions please?
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    I guess the honeymoon period is over. Lust always runs out, you need to make sure you both have a lot of things in common to sustain your relationship. It's what keeps a relationship long term. See him, see how you feel when you see him in person. If you still don't feel anything thne move on
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    you may have grown apart or maybe you just need to put more effort into finding things to talk about. wish i could say something useful but that's all i've got.
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    ... I'm sorry, this isn't helpful but I'm on the receiving end of this at the moment.

    It's not fun, at all, but you've got to do what's best for you.
    all I can advise is that you speak to him. Don't let this be your decision - you're both in this relationship, talk to him about it. You can't sit on this and let it fester on your own - communication is so important, you really have to let him know asap - especially so it's not so out of the blue when you do tell him.

    Also, bear in mind the consequences of you breaking up. You may manage to be friends, it depends on how he responds, but don't count on it - not straight away, anyway. It's not just you two not being a couple, it could potentially mean you two not being together full stop.
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    You just have to be honest with him. You never know, you might get back together after uni, but you should try to stay friends in the meantime because it's not fair on either of you to pretend that nothing's wrong and that you don't feel any differently towards him.

    Just be mature about it to him, you never know, he might be feeling the same.
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    Just be honest that you don't feel that way anymore. You can still be friend's trust me.

    I'm guessing this is probably your first/longest relationship because it always happens with young people. They stay together for too long just because they don't how to break-up or think it'll have too big a consequence. Breaking up is not impossible and is something most people need to go through.

    Be honest with yourself and what you want. The longer you leave something like this, the harder you'll make it and the more time you'll have wasted for you and him both.
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    Feeling like that is a "real reason".
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    People grow apart, it happens. Like you say, your relationship was pretty clingy from the start-off, and to be honest, clingy/ultra-dependent relationships only work when you are in need of your partner. Whereas now your life is going well, you probably feel more secure on your own two feet and thus feelings change.

    I would still give it a bit more time though. It's hard to tell how strongly you feel for someone in a LDR, so definitely meet up before you do anything. But if it doesn't change, or gets even worse, don't drag it out any more and break up.
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    I think you just typed out your reason. Tell him that.
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    I may sound harsh, but you sound a bit like you've used him when you were having a hard time and now you're not anymore you're not interested in him for an actual relationship. That's not fair, and if it is the case then you should end it and try not to hurt him.
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    (Original post by blinkbelle)
    I may sound harsh, but you sound a bit like you've used him when you were having a hard time and now you're not anymore you're not interested in him for an actual relationship. That's not fair, and if it is the case then you should end it and try not to hurt him.
    I know what you mean here yeah, I felt like that too but it wasn't like I thought 'oh once things are better, I wont need you'.. It kinda just happened.

    I do feel like things have drifted, but I know he doesn't feel the same way and was very upset when I mentioned it. I kind of feel like I don't know how to be single though, and that's scary.
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    OP, you need to talk to him asap. It's not fair on the poor guy, sat there not knowing what the hell he's done wrong and why you won't talk to him like you used to. If you think a break would do you good to clear your head, suggest that. Sometimes all you need is to know what you're missing and you realise how you're actually feeling - you may be taking him for granted. I can't stress enough how you must talk to him about it!
 
 
 
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