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I want the shy guy.. watch

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    sounds like this guy from uni who was always paranoid and had the shakes, aways lookin and dartin his eyes around the room all the time like some g's were gona burst in and cap his sorry ass
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    I just wrote him a text saying: I'm thinking about kidnapping you. What do you think?`

    HAh! I might scare him off now, but **** it, if he can't handle it, he's nothing for me anyway.
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    (Original post by Ramanda)
    I asked him to dance with me, and he said: I can't dance. I said: Nonsense, everyone can.. he didn't have the guts to dance with me.. God.. I melted..

    to text him and then not get a text back. Ffs! Why can't he just text back!?
    To be fair confident people don't understanf just how much shyness can control some1. For example even if i knew how to dance i don't know if i could physically make myself dance.

    Also on the text, he's probably just fretting over how you'd react to each possible wording.

    Reading this thread I'd say in many ways i'm not as shy as him but in some i might be the same or worse. For instance i wouldn't run of if some other guy approached the girl i liked. But at the same time i've not manage to tell the girl i like how i feel.
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    Speaking as a shy guy, my biggest fear when interacting with girls is that I am afraid of coming off too forward/giving the impression of "only wanting one thing". That might be why your shy guy might be reluctant to make any moves.
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    (Original post by gm15)
    To be fair confident people don't understanf just how much shyness can control some1. For example even if i knew how to dance i don't know if i could physically make myself dance.

    Also on the text, he's probably just fretting over how you'd react to each possible wording.

    Reading this thread I'd say in many ways i'm not as shy as him but in some i might be the same or worse. For instance i wouldn't run of if some other guy approached the girl i liked. But at the same time i've not manage to tell the girl i like how i feel.
    Thank you, this was really helpful.. That's just it, I'm confident, and have never had a bf who wasn't. (of course everyone has their issues, but you know..)
    The dance thing was just an example on how incredible sweet he can be to me, so that's why I think he likes me. Sometimes I doubt myself though. I'm just very unsure. Loads of guys doesn't dance, independent of confidence.

    What do you suggest I do? I don't wanna change him. I want him as he is. But things like not getting texts back, or when he just suddenly leaves me, looks to me like he doesn't like me anymore, even though he says he does. I don't know what to do, and would really appreciate more advice from your point of view!

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Speaking as a shy guy, my biggest fear when interacting with girls is that I am afraid of coming off too forward/giving the impression of "only wanting one thing". That might be why your shy guy might be reluctant to make any moves.
    Actually, this rings a bell! When I gave him my number, he didn't text it or ring, so I thought I had misinterpreted him and that I was wrong in him liking me.. But when I asked him the week later why he hadn't text yet, he said: "Oh.. I didn't wanna seem pushy.." Which I really didn't understand. Before now. Thank you.
    How do I make him more comfortable to make a move further? Sometimes I consider backing off a bit, giving him some space, but maybe that would be the opposite of what I should do? What do you think?

    (Original post by Stanley90)
    He's probably gay.
    I highly highly doubt that. But thanks for the tribute anyway..
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    (Original post by Ramanda)


    Actually, this rings a bell! When I gave him my number, he didn't text it or ring, so I thought I had misinterpreted him and that I was wrong in him liking me.. But when I asked him the week later why he hadn't text yet, he said: "Oh.. I didn't wanna seem pushy.." Which I really didn't understand. Before now. Thank you.
    How do I make him more comfortable to make a move further? Sometimes I consider backing off a bit, giving him some space, but maybe that would be the opposite of what I should do? What do you think?
    I think backing off might give the impression that you're not interested in him. Be in contact with him and be quite clear about what you think is ok behavior on his part. Subtle hints don't always work and they might miss the person they're aimed at completely.

    This however is only my opinion and might not be true with all shy guys. Nobody can tell you what the right course of action is, you just have to find it out yourself. I dare not say any more since I've never actually had a girlfriend (thanks in part to my shyness).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think backing off might give the impression that you're not interested in him. Be in contact with him and be quite clear about what you think is ok behavior on his part. Subtle hints don't always work and they might miss the person they're aimed at completely.

    This however is only my opinion and might not be true with all shy guys. Nobody can tell you what the right course of action is, you just have to find it out yourself. I dare not say any more since I've never actually had a girlfriend (thanks in part to my shyness).
    You don't think continuing being forward will scare him off? "Normally" when I keep being flirty all the time, they get bored easily, as there's no chase.

    What would YOU do then, if a girl liked you? Do you think there's a chance he's just trying politely to tell me to jog on? That's what I think sometimes.. But then he comes over and kiss me.. But then he walks off again..
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    (Original post by Ramanda)
    You don't think continuing being forward will scare him off? "Normally" when I keep being flirty all the time, they get bored easily, as there's no chase.

    What would YOU do then, if a girl liked you? Do you think there's a chance he's just trying politely to tell me to jog on? That's what I think sometimes.. But then he comes over and kiss me.. But then he walks off again..
    Being forward wont scare him off if he is interested in you, and if you calm down too much - which can actually be a tiny bit - he will notice and think you are going hot and cold towards him, be consistent and show that you so blaringly obviously liking him otherwise he WILL think the worse option.

    For me, if a girl liked me i would try see how comfortable I am with her by talking etc... if i don't feel comfortable and she persists and i am still interested enough I will try see what happens, though in my mind I would have already had the "doomed to fail" thought...

    But don't text him, texting is more 'distant' psychologically, just go to his room and start talking to him and organise a time to see each other etc. Or just go up and kiss him - though try in a quiet place otherwise he will get his friends etc talking about it and so on...

    And on a previous note... you feel that if you flirt too much it will seem like you are too easy? I understand what you mean, but does that mean any guy who chases a girl and obviously flirts comes across as easy?? The only way you would come across as easy is if you flirt with everyone to the same extent (which if you are a scorpio is inevitable, whether you try or not). And i get where he is coming from with the running away when a guy comes along... like i am not that bad, but if a girl seems friendly to both of us, but he is trying to make a move I tend to 'disappear' until she finds me...
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    (Original post by Rick-Raith)
    (...)

    That might be the problem then. Cos when I walk into a club with all my friends, and see him standing there with our mutual friends, we walk over (this happens every time we go out. My group see their group and we go over) everyone says hi to each other, and I'm the one from my group who knows his whole group so usually all of them give me a hug when I come over. And then he take a small step back and looks in another direction. What am I supposed to do then? That's what often happens on "bad nights". He starts with being distant, and makes me unsure of what he wants me to do. Some times I go over to him and say things like: Hi Am I not even going to get a hug? :P (Had to include the smilies for the face expression, so it wouldn't sound accusing, cos I say it in a light and flirty tone) and then he smiles, gives me a hug and say: You having a good night? - Even though we've just arrived.. Hah.. Every time, don't go wrong. But sometimes it makes me wonder if he feels that I'm too much up in his space and that he doesn't want me to come over.. Maybe he's just being distant to "protect" himself in case I dismiss him? I have no idea..

    He seems comfortable talking to me.. If I come over first.. He talks quite a bit when he starts talking to me, actually..

    I have to text him. He lives in accommodation off campus. He's told me he's the worst texter ever, and that he hardly ever texts anyone. One time when I called him (drunk as I was) he actually picked up. He's done that once of the maybe 3-4 times I've called him. (btw, he's said he don't mind me ringing when I'm out and he's not. Actually, he said he likes it..) We'll live in the same building next year (I didn't know before he told me, apparently him and his mates has applied to the flat next to mine and got it) He reminds me of this all the time (that we'll be living metres from each other.) But still, that's like over half a year to, so I hope getting closer to him before that..

    Yeah, when I flirt a lot, I feel like I seem like an easy catch, if u get me? Which I'm btw NOT. I hardly ever get with guys cos I'm a bit fussy that way. If a guy does it.. I don't know.. Yeah, in the beginning, if he's very "on it", it will get boring fast as I will know where it's going. I think. It depends. I dunno.

    I read them links you wrote and they were really interesting! I was a bit creeped out on how good the profile fit on me! Can't say I saw much of him in his. A little. But that's inevitable I guess. And yes, I've heard from my mates that it often seems like I flirt when I don't, and I have more than one occasion had guys believing that I like them when I don't. I don't do it on purpose, and it has made many awkward situations.. I do flirt more with the guys I actually like tho, I do.

    Sorry this got really long, bare with me!
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    it might not be that he doesn't like you, it might be that he has a fear of talking to girls. As in he doesn't know what to say in the moment. Dunno what the waiting is all about though maybe he is having therapy or something and wants to surpise you with his new found confidence :/
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    Ok well i don't know his date, but are you sure he is an exact sagittarius?? cause if he is on a cusp he may be scorpio (though the more introverted version) or a capricorn (which i don't know too much about though)

    Anyway, i still understand his reactions as it has taken me ages to have to "accept" that it it how people interact etc... but you need to try get one on one time with him... or just show him he is special like shake his friends hands and hug him or something like that, maybe give him a sweet kiss on the cheek...
    And he definitely likes you, and he is doing what you have been doing, trying to hint to you that he likes you (which you already quite certainly so know)... but from his point of view, he has probably tried to bring up the courage to do something but it is usually environmentally permitting (ie whether it is the right time or not)... and since he keeps backing down it keeps reducing his confidence (I am still quite like this, except i have gone around it by MAKING the moment, by reading body language inducing the right state of mind, or on another occasion if they are so obviously wanting to kiss me, and I know they do, I still don't make the first move except for telling them "I know you want to kiss me and you may, but I am not going to go in first"...)
    So you need to find a time where he isn't running away from you, and you make the first move, generally a guy wont mind if you are "easy" (though i tend to for some reason) but like if someone like that just kissed me i would probably go with it, but i wont chase someone like that...
    So seriously, you need to make the move, try build his confidence a bit... the shy guys are the best, especially when they develop their cnfidence
 
 
 
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