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    I've never known my dad, he left when I was a baby. Until yesterday when suddenly my paternal grandmother found me on facebook and that caused a chain reaction which led to me speaking to my dad for the first time in my life. He's NZ'er and they want to fly me out (apparently they saved all my birthday and christmas presents). Has anyone else had a similar experience? In the space of 24 hours I've gone from having practically no family, to having 3 brothers, a sister, cousins, aunts, uncles and a dad. He wants to phone me, I don't know when to tell him to, or what would I say to him when he did...

    Any advise appreciated
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    How Odd That They've Brought U Xmas N Birthday Presents From When You Was A Baby N Saved Them To Be Honest It Sounds A Bit Freeky
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    Congrats

    Maybe why he left you in the first place?
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    Don't really know what to say apart from just take everything in first as I'm sure you're probably still shocked!
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    Never had a similar experience but i'm happy for you
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    (Original post by Holz<3)
    How Odd That They've Brought U Xmas N Birthday Presents From When You Was A Baby N Saved Them To Be Honest It Sounds A Bit Freeky
    Why Do You Type Like This?

    Also OP, I think I'd chat on the phone first. But I'd definitely want to meet them all. Good luck
    Possibly start with less heavy conversation, but you're going to want to talk about the time inbetween aren't you?
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    Just be cautious and take things one step at a time; I hope everything works out for you
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    That sound nice
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    They contacted you. :confused:

    I don't want to be a sceptic but have you asked for proof? Are you willing to a DNA test? It's better to be safe before flying thousands of miles to a potential trap in a foreign country.
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    (Original post by Holz<3)
    How Odd That They've Brought U Xmas N Birthday Presents From When You Was A Baby N Saved Them To Be Honest It Sounds A Bit Freeky

    I don't think it's freaky at all - we don't know the reasons he left (perhaps it wasn't a case of him wanting to, but him being pushed out? It happens) and perhaps he always wanted to be part of the OPs life.
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    (Original post by InvoluntarySlacker)
    They contacted you. :confused:

    I don't want to be a sceptic but have you asked for proof? Are you willing to a DNA test? It's better to be safe before flying thousands of miles to a potential trap in a foreign country.

    She could just ask her mum?
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    How does your mum feel about all of this? I'm presuming if he left you when you were just a baby she would have bitter feelings towards him. Did he ever pay child support? Also, did he make any attempt to try and contact you?

    I would be wary about flying to go and see him, maybe suggest he comes to see you, that way you are safer and can get to know him and ask him any questions you may want to ask him on your own turf. I hope it all works out well for you
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    I'd check it's actually them first....
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    I dont know why he left, I dont blame him though and I'm not angry. My mum wasn't the best mother in the world, she had tendancies to neglect and abuse. So after a while you just realise that people have issues that have nothing to do with you.

    He got in contact with me. We are going to speak on the phone first of course and I'm not just going to leap on the first jet leaving for NZ. I don't doubt that its my family, there is no way someone could know stuff that he does. Also as it happens my little sister is the double of me. They all seem so enthuisiastic...my dad spoke to my sister about me for a long time, they all know about me and apparently my pictures are up in the house. My nana said that they decided to wait until I was 21, then theyd hire someone to find me. It all seems too good to be true...
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    Just IMAGINE all those presents!!

    I love stories like this. Hope it all works out for you :hugs:
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    (Original post by Charlski)
    She could just ask her mum?
    :facepalm2:
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    Well at least you'll be a good looking (and well-medically trained) addition to the family.
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    Remember, it's a perfectly normal response for siblings to fall in love having been previously separated for life.
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    Sounds like a lot to deal with all at once. Take some time out to think about it, I kinda agree about the DNA testing, and about asking your mother? I'd be really curious as to why the guy left in the first place if he cared as much as he seems to from what he's said.

    ah. I'm a fairly skeptical person.
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    Have you spoken to your mum about it all?
    I think that flying to NZ is a massive step, so take it slow to start with. If you want to speak to him then go ahead and tell him to call you. But I think it's important that you listen to your own feelings, I mean I obviously can't speak for you but I would imagine that there's a lot of anger and sadness that has been harboured as a result of him not being around for your entire childhood. I think you need to address any of these feelings you do have, and also be honest with him - ask him questions you have wanted answered over the years etc.
    But overall, just do what's right for you. I really hope it goes well, a friend of mine recently met her dad after 22 years and for a few months it was really difficult, catching up on all that they had missed, getting used to having another sibling, getting over the fact that he'd been part of that child's life from day one, but now they have a really great relationship and he's a big part of her life. I hope it works out for you too.
 
 
 
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