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    After reading the thread title, I was totally expecting the first sentence to be:
    "...having sex with my sister"
    "...smoking crack with my Maths teacher"
    "...masturbating over a dead Llama"
    or some such.
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    Wow.

    My advice (not that I'm trained to give any) would be to take it slowly and get a DNA test just to be sure. I'm sure it must be an overwhelming feeling.

    Sounds like it'll be a really happy reunion though, best of luck with it.
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    hahah someone's pulling your leg i'm afraid. Delete your facebook account and try and pretend this saga never happened.
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    Hi OP, first of all I'd just like to say I'm really happy your family have found you! I too have grew up without a dad, I have no idea what he looks like (never seen a picture) and I have no idea what he's like. I'm sure you don't know much about your dad either so when you do finally go to meet your family don't expect to click with them straight away. You don't want to be dissappointed I'm so jealous!
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    (Original post by fatal)
    I've never known my dad, he left when I was a baby. Until yesterday when suddenly my paternal grandmother found me on facebook and that caused a chain reaction which led to me speaking to my dad for the first time in my life. He's NZ'er and they want to fly me out (apparently they saved all my birthday and christmas presents). Has anyone else had a similar experience? In the space of 24 hours I've gone from having practically no family, to having 3 brothers, a sister, cousins, aunts, uncles and a dad. He wants to phone me, I don't know when to tell him to, or what would I say to him when he did...

    Any advise appreciated
    well if hes saved all your stuff for your birthdays etc... surely he loves you and was probably looking for you. Well you could ask him why its taken so long and where has he been most of your life...if he has a valid answer which sounds true then... you need to consider whther you want a relationship with him...or whether your better of without him...
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    That's really heart-warming, gratz
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    (Original post by fatal)
    I dont know why he left, I dont blame him though and I'm not angry. My mum wasn't the best mother in the world, she had tendancies to neglect and abuse. So after a while you just realise that people have issues that have nothing to do with you.

    He got in contact with me. We are going to speak on the phone first of course and I'm not just going to leap on the first jet leaving for NZ. I don't doubt that its my family, there is no way someone could know stuff that he does. Also as it happens my little sister is the double of me. They all seem so enthuisiastic...my dad spoke to my sister about me for a long time, they all know about me and apparently my pictures are up in the house. My nana said that they decided to wait until I was 21, then theyd hire someone to find me. It all seems too good to be true...
    I dunno, if I lost contact with my kids I would try and find them and stay in contact, but its plausible your dad was simply thinking that giving your space to grow up yourself was the right thing to do until you could contact each other without going through your mum.

    My advice, take it slowly and take it one step at a time. This is a big event for everyone involved, don't have any massive expectations and yeah.

    I think its fair once you've gotten off to a start to ask the questions like "why did you go?" and such....your biological dad sounds like a reasonable man so he should be expecting these questions and be prepared to answer.

    Good luck.
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    (Original post by fatal)
    You'd think I'd never thought that :rolleyes: I'm pretty sure he understands what he did, I don't know what else to ask from him.

    "You left me, so spend every minute of the next 20 years making it up to me"

    Not my style...
    Not my style either, I'd tell him to **** off forever, but that's just me.

    I think it's good that you're not bitter and can see good things coming of it . And, as I said, I hope it works out for you.
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    My dad's dad left when my dad was little, cut contact completely, and started a new family in australia. My austalian auntie got in touch with my dad last january and came over. She is not very close to my grandad so has gone from living with hardly any family, to having 3 siblings and 10 nieces and nephews over night.
    I think their only regret is leaving it so many years!!
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    Lots of people are saying "tell him to go away" or, "leave him - see how he likes it" but to be perfectly honest the person you're upsetting is yourself, probably more than you're upsetting him. He's gotten used to not being able to see or contact you over the years, and while he won't like it, it will hurt you more if you know that you have intentionally cut off a relationship with your dad. Why deprive yourself of something that you want, as the OP obviously does?

    OP, that's fantastic news!

    Obviously just keep phone contact for a while, don't leap on the first plane over there. It does sound okay to me, I'm not sure why he left but it seems he's always wanted to be a part of your life, and was planning to contact you at 21. I don't really understand why he felt the need to wait so long if he has your photos up in his house, etc, but everyone has their reasons.

    The one thing I would think is, how close are you to your mum? How will she feel about this?

    All the best OP! x
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    Very similar thing happened here !! I'd say go for it but don't expect too much incase he isn't the kind of person you hope is is. I always used to think that when I met my dad it would be great. Turned out he's a complete moron.
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    Oh wow! Congratulations!!! I hope it all works out :3
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    (Original post by aeonflux)
    A scam in which they buy people flights to New Zealand and than give them loads of presents? Sounds like a great way to make money.

    "A scam where a Nigerian prince puts his entire fortune into someone's bank account in exchange for only a one thousand pound administration fee? Sounds like a great way for him to make money."
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    I'm glad for you OP. Hope everything works out well.
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    That sounds to be wondeful news. But, like many others have said, please be careful.

    It might be a good idea to suggest they come to visit you first, rather than you flying out there.

    Have you talked about this to your mother? She should really be part of this. You need someone who might be able to be more objective to help you decide what to do and to look out for you.

    I think what people are saying about scams etc is quite sensible. People can do all sorts to make money. So be cautious.
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    Why would they wait til you were 21? :confused:

    Anyways, whether they know a lot about you or not, I would still want some DNA proof. Just for peace of mind and to eradicate any lingering doubts.

    Nonetheless, very happy for you!
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    Your very lucky. I'm 18 years of age and have never seen my dad, I've seen him in just one of the family photo's and he was a businessman, I know I have three brother and sisters and tbh I always wanted to find them. God this is like one of them films where children's seperate and meet again 20 years later....I'm feeling quite emotional now.....
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    (Original post by fatal)
    Not 21 years of presents, more a big 21st. How they managed to get the entire family tree right, names, places, even my dads company page, family photos, people I've spoken to before (my cousin)...must be a class scam.
    I didn't say it definitely is a scam, I said that from the information in the original post it could be a scam. For all I knew you could be the kind of person who would fall for a blatant scam, and had been wooed by some pieces of information that are easily obtained (e.g. I saw a Real Hustle where they found out some facts about this woman and then managed to convince her they were psychic). So I thought I should post just in case you were such a person and hadn't considered that it could be false, no need to be sarky back. If your cousin can verify then it all sounds good.
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    What a lovely thing to happen, I"m really please for you OP. Hope it all works out .

    My husband has never met his father, I dont know what happened but I do know that he supported him until he was 16.His father still lives in the town where my husband comes from. It would be nice for him to get in touch with my husband ( hubby isnt bothered one way or tother) and for him to meet his 2 grandsons.Maybe one day it will happen.
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    (Original post by Holz<3)
    How Odd That They've Brought U Xmas N Birthday Presents From When You Was A Baby N Saved Them To Be Honest It Sounds A Bit Freeky
    Why would that freaky? It's her paternal father.
 
 
 
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