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help needed - dad doesn't treat me like an adult
just read the sleep thread and it got me thinking. how many people are allowed to have their bf/ gf sleep over? i'm 17 and have been with my boyfriend (who is 19) for 18 months. his parents are cool with me sleeping over at his house. and my mom doesn't mind him staying at ours either. she's quite a liberal parent i spose. however, my step dad really hates it. it causes huge arguments if i ever defy him. i know my dad will have a problem with it too when we go to stay with him this summer. he's already mentioned how he has set up the spare roomS (so much emphasis on the plural)! it annoys me so much as my dads must know i'm having a sexual relationship with my bf, as i've spoken to my mum about it. they just adopt a not-under-my-roof type attitude and pretend it's not happening! they pretend they waited til they were married! whatever! argh!
it's really starting to bug me now, just wondering if anyone has any advice. is going through a similar thing? or (most importantly) has any advice on how my bf and i can find some space for some 'time alone' (considering we will be banned from sharing a bedroom) - we r staying with my dad and travelling with him in the states for 6 weeks!!
thank you for reading this mammoth post
kisses
phoebe xxx
it's really starting to bug me now, just wondering if anyone has any advice. is going through a similar thing? or (most importantly) has any advice on how my bf and i can find some space for some 'time alone' (considering we will be banned from sharing a bedroom) - we r staying with my dad and travelling with him in the states for 6 weeks!!
thank you for reading this mammoth post
kisses
phoebe xxx
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pheebs
just read the sleep thread and it got me thinking. how many people are allowed to have their bf/ gf sleep over? i'm 17 and have been with my boyfriend (who is 19) for 18 months. his parents are cool with me sleeping over at his house. and my mom doesn't mind him staying at ours either. she's quite a liberal parent i spose. however, my step dad really hates it. it causes huge arguments if i ever defy him. i know my dad will have a problem with it too when we go to stay with him this summer. he's already mentioned how he has set up the spare roomS (so much emphasis on the plural)! it annoys me so much as my dads must know i'm having a sexual relationship with my bf, as i've spoken to my mum about it. they just adopt a not-under-my-roof type attitude and pretend it's not happening! they pretend they waited til they were married! whatever! argh!
it's really starting to bug me now, just wondering if anyone has any advice. is going through a similar thing? or (most importantly) has any advice on how my bf and i can find some space for some 'time alone' (considering we will be banned from sharing a bedroom) - we r staying with my dad and travelling with him in the states for 6 weeks!!
thank you for reading this mammoth post
kisses
phoebe xxx
it's really starting to bug me now, just wondering if anyone has any advice. is going through a similar thing? or (most importantly) has any advice on how my bf and i can find some space for some 'time alone' (considering we will be banned from sharing a bedroom) - we r staying with my dad and travelling with him in the states for 6 weeks!!
thank you for reading this mammoth post
kisses
phoebe xxx
yer i have exactly the same approach from my parents, im 18 and they always say you're not sleeping in the same bed etc. etc. - sorta respect them cos they still think their kids are little angels and all that
olliemccowan
yer i have exactly the same approach from my parents, im 18 and they always say you're not sleeping in the same bed etc. etc. - sorta respect them cos they still think their kids are little angels and all that
how do you cope? i have always got along really well with my parents and my step mom and step dad too. this is the only thing we have ever really argued about and i hate confrontation! but i really do believe that they are the ones being unreasonable.
pheebs
how do you cope? i have always got along really well with my parents and my step mom and step dad too. this is the only thing we have ever really argued about and i hate confrontation! but i really do believe that they are the ones being unreasonable.
well mainly, we just do it on the sofa in my other room (i have one bedroom and one room with my comp n tv in) before we go to bed. i dont really mind tho, been single for a while now, and now im living at uni during term-time so sex isnt a problem there
. is it really that much of an issue for you? is it the fact you cant sleep together as a couple or the fact you want to have sex?olliemccowan
well mainly, we just do it on the sofa in my other room (i have one bedroom and one room with my comp n tv in) before we go to bed. i dont really mind tho, been single for a while now, and now im living at uni during term-time so sex isnt a problem there . is it really that much of an issue for you? is it the fact you cant sleep together as a couple or the fact you want to have sex?
. is it really that much of an issue for you? is it the fact you cant sleep together as a couple or the fact you want to have sex?it's both tbh. it's so much nicer falling to sleep beside someone. and omg 6 weeks without sex? - puh-lease!
can't wait til i move out and it's no longer an issue!
pheebs
it's both tbh. it's so much nicer falling to sleep beside someone. and omg 6 weeks without sex? - puh-lease!
can't wait til i move out and it's no longer an issue!
can't wait til i move out and it's no longer an issue!
yer i understand your sleeping thing. im a sex addict and i would go mad if i couldnt get it for 6 weeks, probs end up tieing my dad up with rope outside for a day lol. however, i do think you will get plenty of opportunities to do it, when your dad clears off somewhere or even more likely, when you and ur man go off for a walk somewhere - you'll find somewhere for a quick bit of loving
olliemccowan
yer i understand your sleeping thing. im a sex addict and i would go mad if i couldnt get it for 6 weeks, probs end up tieing my dad up with rope outside for a day lol. however, i do think you will get plenty of opportunities to do it, when your dad clears off somewhere or even more likely, when you and ur man go off for a walk somewhere - you'll find somewhere for a quick bit of loving
i guess so. cars are a possibility too now i have my drivers licence....
just wish my dads could loosen up a little bit
pheebs
anyone else got any advice?
get off with your step dad (ok, that might not be brilliantly constructive)
MB
I don't really see why it's an issue... I know people a few years older than me who are engaged, yet the girl's mum won't let them share a bed in her house.
Some mums, (I suspect including mine) have a 'not under my roof' rule. Maybe they're not recogmnising you're growing up, but maybe it's just a rle you can just respect and be done with. Not like you can't go elsewhere to do your dirty business...
Some mums, (I suspect including mine) have a 'not under my roof' rule. Maybe they're not recogmnising you're growing up, but maybe it's just a rle you can just respect and be done with. Not like you can't go elsewhere to do your dirty business...
dogtanian
I don't really see why it's an issue... I know people a few years older than me who are engaged, yet the girl's mum won't let them share a bed in her house.
Some mums, (I suspect including mine) have a 'not under my roof' rule. Maybe they're not recogmnising you're growing up, but maybe it's just a rle you can just respect and be done with. Not like you can't go elsewhere to do your dirty business...
Some mums, (I suspect including mine) have a 'not under my roof' rule. Maybe they're not recogmnising you're growing up, but maybe it's just a rle you can just respect and be done with. Not like you can't go elsewhere to do your dirty business...
it seems to be their problem getting used to it though. my mum is fine with it. and so are my boyfriend's parents.
No offence but its your parnets house and they make the rules. Your dads may know that your having a sexual relatinship but its a whole other ball game when they're lying in the their bed wondering what your doing in your room. Respect their rules, whether you like it or not i their eyes you'll always be a little girl.
you're 17, technically you aren't an adult so your dads get the right to not treat you like one! 
Just play by their rules, you don't have a choice and if you show them you're responsible and mature (i.e. not arguing about it, respecting their views) they're more likely to loosen the rules if they think you won't be having rampant sex etc. 
Just play by their rules, you don't have a choice and if you show them you're responsible and mature (i.e. not arguing about it, respecting their views) they're more likely to loosen the rules if they think you won't be having rampant sex etc. 
When my boyfriend and I got together, my mum was OK with us in the same room but my dad wasn't so we were in seperate rooms. I had an upset at Xmas, 3months after we'd been together, and my dad finally agreed that I should have the emotional support of being allowed my boyfriend in the same room as me so we've slept in my room ever since.
His parents set us up an extra bed in his room, but soon found out that wasn't wroth it and then got him a double bed so we sleep together at both houses now.
My mum was of the view that as I was honest about my relationship, she would treat me as an adult as I was acting like one. She also believes its better for me to have sex at home, somewhere safe, rather than try and go out..sleep around etc.
His parents set us up an extra bed in his room, but soon found out that wasn't wroth it and then got him a double bed so we sleep together at both houses now.
My mum was of the view that as I was honest about my relationship, she would treat me as an adult as I was acting like one. She also believes its better for me to have sex at home, somewhere safe, rather than try and go out..sleep around etc.
pheebs
just read the sleep thread and it got me thinking. how many people are allowed to have their bf/ gf sleep over? i'm 17 and have been with my boyfriend (who is 19) for 18 months. his parents are cool with me sleeping over at his house. and my mom doesn't mind him staying at ours either. she's quite a liberal parent i spose. however, my step dad really hates it. it causes huge arguments if i ever defy him. i know my dad will have a problem with it too when we go to stay with him this summer. he's already mentioned how he has set up the spare roomS (so much emphasis on the plural)! it annoys me so much as my dads must know i'm having a sexual relationship with my bf, as i've spoken to my mum about it. they just adopt a not-under-my-roof type attitude and pretend it's not happening! they pretend they waited til they were married! whatever! argh!
it's really starting to bug me now, just wondering if anyone has any advice. is going through a similar thing? or (most importantly) has any advice on how my bf and i can find some space for some 'time alone' (considering we will be banned from sharing a bedroom) - we r staying with my dad and travelling with him in the states for 6 weeks!!
thank you for reading this mammoth post
kisses
phoebe xxx
it's really starting to bug me now, just wondering if anyone has any advice. is going through a similar thing? or (most importantly) has any advice on how my bf and i can find some space for some 'time alone' (considering we will be banned from sharing a bedroom) - we r staying with my dad and travelling with him in the states for 6 weeks!!
thank you for reading this mammoth post
kisses
phoebe xxx
You should be mature/adult enough to realise that you are living under someone elses roof, and should abide by their house rules.
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