This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

new girlfriend just isnt the same

ok then, this is the first thread i have posted.

i dont know if anyone has had a similar experience. i went out with my ex gf for about a year. we split up sometime ago now, but being with other girls just dont feel the same. now ive started seeing a different girl, bur it just dont feel right. she is attractive (well to me anyway!), good fun to be around and everything i would want in a girlfriend, but still i just dont feel right with her! i saw my ex last night and she seems the only girl i am fully comfortable with.

This is doing my head in because my new gf is so nice, and i have been split up from my ex for nearly a year! ne1 got any helpful advice on this?

Reply 1

bohogirlie

3

Maybe you're not completely over your ex. It takes some people longer than others to get over a guy/girl.

Reply 2

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

14

bean69

ok then, this is the first thread i have posted.

i dont know if anyone has had a similar experience. i went out with my ex gf for about a year. we split up sometime ago now, but being with other girls just dont feel the same. now ive started seeing a different girl, bur it just dont feel right. she is attractive (well to me anyway!), good fun to be around and everything i would want in a girlfriend, but still i just dont feel right with her! i saw my ex last night and she seems the only girl i am fully comfortable with.

This is doing my head in because my new gf is so nice, and i have been split up from my ex for nearly a year! ne1 got any helpful advice on this?

firstly - you're still not over your ex girlfriend!

secondly - the above reason is why you are not comfortable with your new girlfriend because after all you were going out with the girl for a year (its understandable!)

and lastly - Just dote on your new girlfriend and stop comparing her to your ex

I'm sorry - it just had to be said hunny :frown:

xoxo

Reply 3

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

14

bohogirlie

Maybe you're not completely over your ex. It takes some people longer than others to get over a guy/girl.

xoxo

Reply 4

pheebs

obviously your ideas of what a girlfriend or a relationship should be like have been formed by your ex. and it is perfectly understandable that u shd b comfortable with her as being in a relationship demands trust and intimacy that are built up over a period of time.
that said, you should try to rid yourself of these preconceived ideas as no two relationships/ girls are the same. concentrate on getting to know your new gf even more and don't compare her to ur ex.
pheebs xxx

Reply 5

Trousers

11

It takes a long time to get over a relationship - give it time. But, if you're not happy with your new girlfriend, it's not fair to stay with her and keep comparing her to your ex. You're obviously not ready for a new relationship yet.

Reply 6

bean69

OP

thats the thing i totally thought i was over my ex! it has been a year! in any other situation my new gf would be totally right 4 me and she would make me happy, but i just cnt help comparing and seeing my ex last night really did not help!

Reply 7

bohogirlie

3

bean69

thats the thing i totally thought i was over my ex! it has been a year! in any other situation my new gf would be totally right 4 me and she would make me happy, but i just cnt help comparing and seeing my ex last night really did not help!

Just becasue you're no longer with your ex and haven't been for a year doesn't mean that you're over her, Especially if you were together for a long time and especially if she was your first proper relationship.

Reply 8

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

14

bean69

thats the thing i totally thought i was over my ex! it has been a year! in any other situation my new gf would be totally right 4 me and she would make me happy, but i just cnt help comparing and seeing my ex last night really did not help!

hunny - I'm still not over my ex and that was 3 years ago :frown:

but I learned not to compare him to my other relationships and especially to my other boyfriends I've had xoxo

Reply 9

bean69

OP

bohogirlie

Just becasue you're no longer with your ex and haven't been for a year doesn't mean that you're over her, Especially if you were together for a long time and especially if she was your first proper relationship.

it wasnt my first proper relationship. thats whats getting to me aswell, i was going out with another girl for longer than my ex and i got over that much more easily.

Reply 10

kriztinae

14

bean69

it wasnt my first proper relationship. thats whats getting to me aswell, i was going out with another girl for longer than my ex and i got over that much more easily.

why did you guys break up in the first place?
are you still on good terms with her?

Reply 11

bean69

OP

it was sort of a mutual thing. she wanted her own space and i was quite happy with the way we were, so i just said we shud maybe leave it if she felt like that and she agreed. as for being on good terms we are. we didnt speak for a while but in the last few weeks we've been chatting like good mates which i like cos i hate being on bad terms with people.

Reply 12

kriztinae

14

bean69

it was sort of a mutual thing. she wanted her own space and i was quite happy with the way we were, so i just said we shud maybe leave it if she felt like that and she agreed. as for being on good terms we are. we didnt speak for a while but in the last few weeks we've been chatting like good mates which i like cos i hate being on bad terms with people.

well to be honest m aybe youve both given each other enough space and you should try getting back together with her. im sure ur curent girlfriend is great but u shouldnt be dragging her along like that.

try asking her out and if she says no you'l at least know you've tried but by the looks of it and the fact that u two have been chatting quite a bit is a good sign

Reply 13

xangeleyesx

bean69

ok then, this is the first thread i have posted.

i dont know if anyone has had a similar experience. i went out with my ex gf for about a year. we split up sometime ago now, but being with other girls just dont feel the same. now ive started seeing a different girl, bur it just dont feel right. she is attractive (well to me anyway!), good fun to be around and everything i would want in a girlfriend, but still i just dont feel right with her! i saw my ex last night and she seems the only girl i am fully comfortable with.

This is doing my head in because my new gf is so nice, and i have been split up from my ex for nearly a year! ne1 got any helpful advice on this?

I totally understand where you're coming from. I had a very similar situation (only involoving guys, obviously) :p:

Still do have that situation going on, actually. I'm now thinking that the only thing to do is just to carry on with the new guy and just totally forget about ex. Otherwise it just makes you miserable thinking over what could have been. I say just try to move on and have fun with the new girl, easier said than done, I know, but I think it's the way to go. :top:

Reply 14

twiga

15

bohogirlie

Maybe you're not completely over your ex. It takes some people longer than others to get over a guy/girl.

:dito:

It's always hard to be with someone else after splitting up with your ex, even after this long.

Reply 15

r_raghav11

1

stop thinking abt ur ex. Woo ur girlfriend and have fun. Shut out ur mind from thinking abt ur ex and in some time u'll be just fine!

Reply 16

Lirael Abhorsen

1

i think you've got to think through who you really want to be with... is it that you're not over the ex? is it that you still really like her and if so could there be an opportunity where you could get back together? and if you feel like this its not fair on your current gf to keep up the relationship. saying that it sounds like you should give it some time to see whether things don't become more natural between you and your current gf. if you don't feel the way you should about her it sound slike your going to have to talk to her and let her down gently. good luck.

Reply 17

_poptart_

2

bean69

ok then, this is the first thread i have posted.

i dont know if anyone has had a similar experience. i went out with my ex gf for about a year. we split up sometime ago now, but being with other girls just dont feel the same. now ive started seeing a different girl, bur it just dont feel right. she is attractive (well to me anyway!), good fun to be around and everything i would want in a girlfriend, but still i just dont feel right with her! i saw my ex last night and she seems the only girl i am fully comfortable with.

This is doing my head in because my new gf is so nice, and i have been split up from my ex for nearly a year! ne1 got any helpful advice on this?

You poor thing I bet youre feeling a bit confused right now!! it sounds to me like you obviously have a lot of feelings for your ex (understandably), but you need to find out whether she has any feelings left for you - if deep down in ur heart you know that she is over you, maybe its best to concentrate on your new girl. like you say she is a nice girl so if you give it time it might really work out!!
Saying that, if you really still love your ex you shouldnt try and overcome it, you have to let her know (as long as u feel she might feel the same).
otherwise you will end up regretting not taking another chance with her and may then feel angry about being with ur new girlfriend.
Whatever happens good luck, we all go through it just make sure you make the right decision :p:

Reply 18

toiletwall

Being friendly with your ex is a good thing, but you have to make sure it is not confusing your feelings more. You could persevere with your current gf and see if your feelings change, because it would take a while to become as comfortable with her as it has done in previous relationships. However, if you think you are more than interested in your ex, you should not lead your gf on. How long have you been going out with your current gf?

Reply 19

happydinosaur

15

toiletwall

Being friendly with your ex is a good thing, but you have to make sure it is not confusing your feelings more. You could persevere with your current gf and see if your feelings change, because it would take a while to become as comfortable with her as it has done in previous relationships. However, if you think you are more than interested in your ex, you should not lead your gf on. How long have you been going out with your current gf?

That reminds me of what a friend told me the other day. I was told that maybe my feelings for and friendship with my ex boyfriend are totally self destructive because I want to be with my ex but I know that I cant yet I cant let myself be with anyone else because thats too final. Very self destructive.

new girlfriend just isnt the same

Related discussions

Articles for you