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Im 20, female and still a virgin because...

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Don't overthink it. It'll happen when it happens. If it's with someone special, that's a bonus. But sometimes good ol' lust and passion just gets in the way of the best laid plans.

Sure, the first time is memorable - but not that special. Most of my friends prefer to forget their first time - all that fumbling and groping and panting.

Mmmm...maybe it wasn't that bad after all :yes:

Reply 21

alex_hk90

Anonymous

Similar situation here- 21 years old, male and a virgin.
Actually correction- I am a supervirgin: never kissed, never dated, no gf ever.
And despite my desparateness and overdueness for a shag, at this point I feel that I don't want to have the first time with just any girl. After that, I'd happily sleep around but there is something mystically sacred about the first time.

Shame you posted this anon; would have repped otherwise. :yes:

Reply 22

Butterflyleg

[QUOTE=Anonymous]i am waiting for the right person.

I have had 2 bfs in the past, one extremely confident (too agrressive at times) and the other extremely shy. The first bf was when i was quite young, and always tried to pressure me into having sex, the 2nd bf .... well we were close to having sex, but im glad we never and we're friends now.

Im not in a relationship now, but i have had chances to have sex with other guys. Since i am a virgin, i want my first time to be quite special and with someone that i find special. Im 20, so i do get urges sometimes to lose it with anyone, but thats what iv been trying to avoid. So i dont know what to do...or how long it will be until i find the right person, whom id want a long relationship with.

So you will be waiting for the rest of your life because Mr Right doesn't exist :wink:

Reply 23

Anonymous #3

alex_hk90

Shame you posted this anon; would have repped otherwise. :yes:

Some pity reps for me being so pathetic?

Reply 24

Ah.Cheesecake.

ticktockclock

Jeez why is sex so sacred to girls? its just ******* sex who gives a **** if its special or not. Either way its just a penis going into a vagina end of.

I've said it once, I'll say it again:
How the **** is THAT supposed to go in THERE???
And there will be blood. You don't want someone that you don't trust to see that tbh. :rolleyes:

OP: (I still don't know what that stands for..)
I love that you're waiting for someone special :biggrin:

What are you actually looking for in that 'someone special?'

Reply 25

alex_hk90

Anonymous

Some pity reps for me being so pathetic?

No, I just empathise about the irrational importance of the first time.

Reply 26

Miss_Scarlet

I have to say, honestly, losing your virginity isn't such a big deal.

But if you are nervous about the first time etc, then it probably is best you feel comfortable, so that will probably be with someone you are happy with.
Obvioulsy, we cannot say when that will be, but make sure you give people the chance to be that person. Maybe the perfect guy is nearby and you just haven't realised yet.

Reply 27

Moa

The more you wait, the more importance you will bind to it, and the more you will be disappointed to find out that first time will be nothing special.

Reply 28

Anonymous #4

I'm in the same situation except I'm male.

I can't reply advising you to wait for someone or try and lose it now like people have suggested because it's your choice. It's your life and it's not something you should decide by reading an internet message board.

Reply 29

Delenn

Wait for someone special. Anyone who tells you otherwise lost theirs in a tacky fashion. As for the argument of sex not being a big deal - when you can get viruses/preggers/feel generally retarded from the act - you better believe it is important enough dangit! And sure, it is plain as jane when it has no meaning - so therefore - WAIT FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL endof story.

The first time especially means more to women because the shizzle shall hurt like a bizzle!!!! probably.

You're 20, female and a virgin because....you're clever and respect yourself. Good stuff!
Wait as long as you need to. After all...it's "no big deal" right.

Reply 30

Anonymous #5

OP -I'm in a similar situation to you except I'm 22. I know how you feel, I can't help but think that the longer I leave it the worse I'm going to feel about it but at the same time, I don't think I should have taken anyone up on the offers that I have had in the past(guys that I've met in clubs etc.) I want to wait untill I find someone who I care about, but I am beginning to lose faith in that ever happening. I think part of it is my own fault in that I am unwilling to "put myself out there". I never really know how to act around guys that I like, which people who know me would find weird because I'm generally really outgoing.

Sorry my post isn't really any help, but you might like to know that there are people in a similar situation.

Reply 31

Anonymous #6

I'm sure you will find the right person. I'm in a similar position to you.

Reply 32

Lamptastic

I had sex with someone I don't regard as special and it was not an amazing/romantic/passionate event. I doubt that if I were to change it all and have kept it until my current partner that my perception of it would have changed.

"Losing" my virginity was a right of passage ...something I had to do so I could enjoy sex. And I do.

I do however respect that some women keep it sacred...I just see it as something I got rid of :smile:

Reply 33

_Shanice_

It seems like the people who had a bad experience are the ones saying that there's no point waiting.

I can understand why you want our experiences OP but you can't base what your experience will be like based on ours. If you're not ready then by all means you should wait. If you can't wait any longer then don't. As long as you are happy about when you do it, regardless of who you do it with, then that's the main thing. And if you find the right person then that's great.

I found that special someone and we've been together for 4 years.

Oh and, p.s: there's no shame in being a virgin, wait as long as you have to or need to. :smile:

Reply 34

Afrodite

Delenn

Wait for someone special. Anyone who tells you otherwise lost theirs in a tacky fashion.

The first time especially means more to women because the shizzle shall hurt like a bizzle!!!! probably.

This.

HAHA! So true!

Reply 35

Eveiebaby

Everyone's saying that you "will" bleed. Although it's common, it doesnt happen to everyone. I didnt bleed. I would say my experience wasn't really amazing (in terms of technique or passion) but it was mildly pleasurable. But then again my first time was with a guy who had a bit more experience than me.

I wasn't really bothered about waiting for "the one", but thats because I didnt want to pin so much importance on one person. That "one" you spent your lifetime waiting for could turn out to be a total knob and you could wonder why you bothered wasting all that time waiting for that person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with when you could have been having lots of fun with Mr almost-right or Mr right now in the meantime.

I think that by all means have your first time with someone you trust and like, but pinning so much hope on that first person being the one can set you up for disaster. That's only my opinion though.

Reply 36

Glasshouse_Life

PearlyWhites

Aww that's lovely!
...

I'm in the same situation girl, and I think it's definitely worth saving for as long as possible with the right person. I'm sure there's a lot of people who secretly wish that they were in your position. Your virginity is not some worthless piece of rag. Treasure it and respect it.

It may not be a 'worthless rag' but if you think an unbroken hymen is the most precious thing in the world than that's pretty sad too.

Reply 37

Delta Usafa

I find the OP's perspective to be admirable, especially in today's society. Don't pay attention to the anecdotal "it's gonna be ****, you'll be disappointed" posts. Even if it is weird and awkward your first time, it'll still be much better than that on an emotional level if you're with someone you love.

Reply 38

Glasshouse_Life

PearlyWhites

Far from it. I personally think it says a lot about a person who would let any old guy enter them without it meaning anything.

And for you to think that a girls virginity is just a 'hymen' then I feel sorry for you. You might view your virginity as just a piece of skin, but I have to much self-love to think so little of it. My virginity, like many of my friends, will be taken by someone who worships the ground I walk on. I'll presume it's too late for you.

Nice.

I simply used the hymen because it seemed a nice counter to the dirty rag; whore v angel argument kinda thing.

It's no better to brag about being a virgin than bragging about sleeping with loads of people. Neither are a badge (or a ring) of honour.

'Any old guy' (I assume you also mean any old girl too) hmmm you know not everyone who has lost their virginity sleeps around.

And you have to base your friends solely on the fact that they hold the same opinions on this topic then that is also pretty sad.

Reply 39

Kyoujin

You're going to be a bit disappointed if you've built it up this much. Yes, it's nice to share yourself with someone but it's not as big a thing as it's made out to be.