Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I wish to stay anonymous on this due to that fact that I don't not want to affect my university choices one way or another, Anyway I'll begin.

    I have a anger problem, I know it , My friends know it , Family know it. But my main issue is coping with this at university I can come across very bulshy and aggressive and has never been someone to take **** from nobody.

    I hate being the way I am I have lost friends from this I just don't know what comes over me one minute I'll be fine the next something may have happened and I boil up inside and clench my fist and punch something


    As for when I have had a drink it's even worse.... On new years eve we all decided to get together for a good friendly chilled piss up at our local bar anyway I was with my girl and this guy decides to try it on with her, Being the man I had to stand in not caring about the guys behind him because if this was going in the way I thought it was going I was standing my ground like I was always taught. Anyway the night passed with no trouble until 1.30am I was sitting down and my close friend knew straight away I wasn't 100% happy I had the empty bottle in my hand ready for this guy to try his move he was going to get it as far as I was concerned. My friend took me outside for some fresh air I managed to sneak the bottle outside for the intended reason , The guy came outside and smerked and that was it I slid the bottle out of my sleeve and went charging towards him bottle in the air ready to teach this ****** his lesson , Thankfully the guys I was with dragged me back before I could even bring the bottle down.

    Since that incident 20 days ago I lost the girl I was with as I showed my true colors.


    I hate having this issue it got me into a lot of trouble at high school and its seriously affecting the relationship side of my life.

    I see everyones comments towards me as criticism and switch straight into defense mode almost as if I'm looking for a fight.


    Don't get me wrong I'm a nice guy once you get to know me but people....Well people judge a book before they have even read it and instantly tick me off as Aggressive , Bulshy , Arrogant.



    I just want to know if anyone else has any issues like this or how they overcome it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I can severely relate and sympathise
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    To disperse anger I keep mannequins of people I hate in my mind. When I'm angry I mentally torture them to death or otherwise and I calm down

    Maybe you could try something similar?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Therapy. Doesn't sound that helpful unless you've had it, but it does you a world of good.

    Might be worth asking your GP for advice aobut who to speak to, where you can go etc., you might be able to get help on the NHS (not sure though).
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    fighting hurts poeple.....u shudnt fight at all coz not only will they be hurt but also u and ur family...overlook things....take things as a joke...relax yourself by sitting down just closing your eyes and breathing deeply...and everytime u start to get angry just think that nothing good at all will come of it...control it now or it will become a big problem in the future...
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    stress ball..and i was going to say think of your girl so it can calm you down but u lost her so thats no use..hmmm
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Alternatively, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MihonWEavUA

    Channel your anger into a force with which to fight crime!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Next time you are out go up to the hardest looking guy and have a fight with him after he has beaten you you will be relaxed and repeat this process or buy a gun carry it around with you and then you can feel good knowing that you can hurt this person any time you like when you start feeling angry there will be no need has this helped?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Riddy)
    I can severely relate and sympathise
    Me too. And as crappy as it sounds, therapy does actually work. I had it pretty much forced on me after my school threatened to expel me if i got into another fight. Good luck bro, i hope everything works out ok
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I will check out therapy as I really want to lose this problem as I'm pushing people away. It got me into a lot of trouble at school for looking to fight generally anyone I just want to settle down and do well in life not look for a fight everytime I leave my house.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Oops sorry for the double post , Does anyone know what the therapy is like, What do they do? , What questions do they ask?

    It only hit home when losing my ex who I was with for 1 year, Guess in the end my true colour came out and she said some nasty words about my problem when we broke up.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Don't get me wrong I'm a nice guy once you get to know me but people....Well people judge a book before they have even read it and instantly tick me off as Aggressive , Bulshy , Arrogant
    And so they should judge if you seriously want to smash some glass into someone just because they're being a bit inappropriate. Good luck trying to convince a jury that wasn't GBH if you attempt it again and manage to mess up a person's life for no good reason.
    I have absolutely no sympathy except for the fact that you want to sort this out.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oops sorry for the double post , Does anyone know what the therapy is like, What do they do? , What questions do they ask?

    It only hit home when losing my ex who I was with for 1 year, Guess in the end my true colour came out and she said some nasty words about my problem when we broke up.
    I had therapy for some very serious trust issues I was having that was ruining a great relationship and making me unable to trust anyone, friends or otherwise.

    Now, i was REALLY scpetical about therapy/counselling and thought it would be arse, but i promised someone I would go, so I did try it out. It's done wonders already, i really thought it would be some jesus sandle wearing hippy freak asking me "how that made me feel" but it's not like that at all. My therapist argues with me, challenges me and really makes me think about the WHY of why i acted the way i did. If you get the right therapist i'm sure they'll be able to help.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by NW86)
    I had therapy for some very serious trust issues I was having that was ruining a great relationship and making me unable to trust anyone, friends or otherwise.

    Now, i was REALLY scpetical about therapy/counselling and thought it would be arse, but i promised someone I would go, so I did try it out. It's done wonders already, i really thought it would be some jesus sandle wearing hippy freak asking me "how that made me feel" but it's not like that at all. My therapist argues with me, challenges me and really makes me think about the WHY of why i acted the way i did. If you get the right therapist i'm sure they'll be able to help.
    Yep I'm in the same boat, I can only trust friends that I have grown up with which in general is 3. We've know each other since primary school days I can trust them 100% anyone else I can't really trust I find it hard to trust anyone so easily.

    I think some therapy would do me a heck of good and manage to calm my temper down.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Do you have a small penis?

    That might be the problem..
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ToeRag)
    Do you have a small penis?

    That might be the problem..
    Lmao, Nope wasn't the last time I checked I'm pretty well hung but thanks for getting me to check it's still down below.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by *Star*Guitar*)
    And so they should judge if you seriously want to smash some glass into someone just because they're being a bit inappropriate. Good luck trying to convince a jury that wasn't GBH if you attempt it again and manage to mess up a person's life for no good reason.
    I have absolutely no sympathy except for the fact that you want to sort this out.
    You loving not being remotely helpful there at all? If you don't have anything nice to say be silent woman.

    I've known three people exactly the same. one of them managed to deal with it himself, another had therapy and sorted himself out. The other, well, he did a spell in Walton because of it. Sorted him out, but I'd listen to everyone else and try therapy as I'm sure you don't want it to get to that stage.

    Good luck!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Channel your anger into a girlfriend or loved one. Slowly overcome your problems by unloading them into another.
    If this fails; take massive amounts of meth, shout at passing cars, repeat.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Kyoujin)
    You loving not being remotely helpful there at all? If you don't have anything nice to say be silent woman.

    I've known three people exactly the same. one of them managed to deal with it himself, another had therapy and sorted himself out. The other, well, he did a spell in Walton because of it. Sorted him out, but I'd listen to everyone else and try therapy as I'm sure you don't want it to get to that stage.

    Good luck!
    Thanks for the advice I think I'll do the therapy course.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Lmao, Nope wasn't the last time I checked I'm pretty well hung but thanks for getting me to check it's still down below.
    Haha- I'm glad you took that as a joke- See your anger isn't that bad!!

    On a serious note- I had the same thing, when I was 18 I would literally go crazy over the slightest thing, thinking the world and everyone in it was against me.

    Just try to research coping techniques- when you feel it boiling up, try to remove your self from the situation- think about whether you'd react different if you were sober/not wound up.. stuff like that!

    Although, to be fair, if someone hit on my bird in front of me and then smirked at me I'd have smashed the fu cker up! So maybe I'm not the best person to give advice!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 22, 2010
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.