Keep anon please if possible
Hi. I've just started my second term at uni and loving it loads!
I've met some cool people and friends but I dont feel like ive found some1 i really click with in interests and on like a sorta-best friend level. People all around me seem to have some1 theyre always going nuts with each other, but ive just feel like ive met some people i enjoy spending time with, but not some1 im rly close to (not necessarily looking for a relationship, just an amazing friend). and in a sense its a bit lonely - even though ive got loads of people around me. maybe its because ive spread my time amongst loads of different people in an attempt to make loads of new friends rather than a close few.
it also worries me a bit cause soon it will be time to start thinking about moving into houses/flats with friends, and i dont feel like im included in a tight bunch of friends whod want me to move in with them (not that im sociopathic, but just don't know me hugely well)
im trying to meet some new people by joining socs, which i failed to do last term :P, but was wondering if you wonderful tsr people had any other advice?
if it helps im a guy, whose not always greatly talkative and find myself trying to think of things to say to prevent awkward silence (which there sometimes a lot of) , but i know from the past when i have a really good friend we're always having a laugh.
thanks for reading anyway. sorry if its not in the right forum
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- 20-01-2010 23:57
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- 21-01-2010 00:01
Hello you(Original post by Anonymous)
Keep anon please if possible
Hi. I've just started my second term at uni and loving it loads!
I've met some cool people and friends but I dont feel like ive found some1 i really click with in interests and on like a sorta-best friend level. People all around me seem to have some1 theyre always going nuts with each other, but ive just feel like ive met some people i enjoy spending time with, but not some1 im rly close to (not necessarily looking for a relationship, just an amazing friend). and in a sense its a bit lonely - even though ive got loads of people around me. maybe its because ive spread my time amongst loads of different people in an attempt to make loads of new friends rather than a close few.
it also worries me a bit cause soon it will be time to start thinking about moving into houses/flats with friends, and i dont feel like im included in a tight bunch of friends whod want me to move in with them (not that im sociopathic, but just don't know me hugely well)
im trying to meet some new people by joining socs, which i failed to do last term :P, but was wondering if you wonderful tsr people had any other advice?
if it helps im a guy, whose not always greatly talkative and find myself trying to think of things to say to prevent awkward silence (which there sometimes a lot of ) , but i know from the past when i have a really good friend we're always having a laugh.
thanks for reading anyway . sorry if its not in the right forum
My advice is get involved with as much stuff as possible. Union events and competitions/clubs etc to find someone with a common interest. It's good to be compatible. -
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- 21-01-2010 00:05
I made two friends at uni and they both dropped out by the middle of the second year so I was on my own. I've always been a bit of a loner though so I guess it was never really a problem for me. I had a best friend from my home town so I wasn't particularly concerned with finding a 'best friend' at uni.(Original post by Anonymous)
Keep anon please if possible
Hi. I've just started my second term at uni and loving it loads!
I've met some cool people and friends but I dont feel like ive found some1 i really click with in interests and on like a sorta-best friend level. People all around me seem to have some1 theyre always going nuts with each other, but ive just feel like ive met some people i enjoy spending time with, but not some1 im rly close to (not necessarily looking for a relationship, just an amazing friend). and in a sense its a bit lonely - even though ive got loads of people around me. maybe its because ive spread my time amongst loads of different people in an attempt to make loads of new friends rather than a close few.
it also worries me a bit cause soon it will be time to start thinking about moving into houses/flats with friends, and i dont feel like im included in a tight bunch of friends whod want me to move in with them (not that im sociopathic, but just don't know me hugely well)
im trying to meet some new people by joining socs, which i failed to do last term :P, but was wondering if you wonderful tsr people had any other advice?
if it helps im a guy, whose not always greatly talkative and find myself trying to think of things to say to prevent awkward silence (which there sometimes a lot of ) , but i know from the past when i have a really good friend we're always having a laugh.
thanks for reading anyway . sorry if its not in the right forum
If you want to improve your social skills, I would recommend reading 'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie. I think if you search for it on wikipedia, it gives you a list of all the key principles, but obviously the book goes alot more in-depth and provides examples of the different contexts in which they are used.
You basically just let the other person do most of the talking, talk in terms of their interests. It's said if you talk to someone about themselves, they will listen for hours. Don't ask closed questions (which just require a yes or no answer) as that inevitably leads to the dreaded awkward silences, just ask loads of open ended questions or get them to expand on their answers. You don't even need to be a talkative guy, if you hit the right buttons, you can get them to do most of the talking.
You could try and make new friends but you could also try and build on the friendships you've already got. -
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- 21-01-2010 00:28
peoblem with letting them do all the talking is that they know nothing about you in the end. but if you're intuitive enough , you can use the information you've gathered from the person you've been talking to to bring up future conversations about common interests(Original post by iwwhty)
I made two friends at uni and they both dropped out by the middle of the second year so I was on my own. I've always been a bit of a loner though so I guess it was never really a problem for me. I had a best friend from my home town so I wasn't particularly concerned with finding a 'best friend' at uni.
If you want to improve your social skills, I would recommend reading 'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie. I think if you search for it on wikipedia, it gives you a list of all the key principles, but obviously the book goes alot more in-depth and provides examples of the different contexts in which they are used.
You basically just let the other person do most of the talking, talk in terms of their interests. It's said if you talk to someone about themselves, they will listen for hours. Don't ask closed questions (which just require a yes or no answer) as that inevitably leads to the dreaded awkward silences, just ask loads of open ended questions or get them to expand on their answers. You don't even need to be a talkative guy, if you hit the right buttons, you can get them to do most of the talking.
You could try and make new friends but you could also try and build on the friendships you've already got.
) , but i know from the past when i have a really good friend we're always having a laugh.
. sorry if its not in the right forum
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Updated: January 21, 2010
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