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I think my bf has mental health problems... watch

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    Hello.
    I just need a bit of help.
    I've been going out with my bf for a year and eight months now.
    We moved in together 5 months ago, and since then everything has gone to ****.
    We argue all the time.
    Last week I left and moved back in with my parents.
    I think my bf is suicidal. In the past when we've argued he has cut himself and tried to hide it from me. Someone called the police once because he 'conveniently sat' on a motorway bridge. He told me he used to hear voices. The night before I moved out he stormed out the house and said he was sorry if anything was to happen to him that night.
    He loves me to death and he cares about me greatly, but it's beyond obsessive and suffocating.
    I love him, and I'm worried about him.
    When I left I told him that I'd be back in 2 weeks to talk, I was wondering if I should tell him mother or someone so we can get him some help. I dunno. But how would I go about this?!
    He is supposed to be going to counselling sessions for an accident he had spring last year, but he doesn't want to go.
    So I don't know what to do.
    I can't go on in a relationship where I sit and cry at least once a week because I'm just not happy.

    Any advice would be great.
    Thanks.
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    Talk to him about it and read up on his symptoms before you confront him though.
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    The description offered indicates to me there are issue that need to be addressed proffesionally .....

    PROBLEM
    If its a verifyable diagnosable mental health issue , part of that issue is he may never accept that hes ill , he may never accept it from you or from family.
    Doctors rely on the informtion provided by the patient , he may not be being honest with doctor

    My advice is write a letter to his doctor explaining your concerns , your not going bhind his back you doing it becasue you love him , its up to you to consider wether you want to give him a copy of the letter , only you ill be a ble to guage what his posible reaction ould be .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He is supposed to be going to counselling sessions for an accident he had spring last year, but he doesn't want to go.
    Was this a traumatic accident? Where his symptoms obvious before the accident?

    In any case, I would have a word with his mother. It's likely she already knows to some extent but it can't hurt having her knowing, and she might be able to help you get him some help
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    #1

    (Original post by Nico_SU)
    Was this a traumatic accident? Where his symptoms obvious before the accident?

    In any case, I would have a word with his mother. It's likely she already knows to some extent but it can't hurt having her knowing, and she might be able to help you get him some help

    It was a motorcycle accident. He now has a titanium bar in his leg, and still can't run.
    He cut occaisonally before the accident, but more after. BUT he did say the voices had stopped since the accident.
    His mother doesn't know about any of the stuff I've mentioned.
    She thinks we're blissfully happy.

    Thanks for everyone who has replied.
    Much appreciated.
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    Hi I am really glad you have posted your message.

    I have had similar symptoms as your boyfriend for a couple of years and eventually went to the doctor a few months ago where I was diagnosed with severe depression.

    You should definitely get his mum involved. Even if he is angry at you for doing it. Without help he will not get better.

    I think you have done the right thing in leaving him however, both for your sake and for his. He can't always have you with him so he needs to feel better by himself.

    I have been taking medication and counselling for a few months now and the difference is huge already.
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    #2

    I would call his mum, and then talk to him together and go to his GP. You need to get him some help, ASAP. I'd make an appointment for tomorrow.
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    Definately speak to his mum. And give him space, don't let him guilt trip you into staying with him 'or he'll cut himself.' That's just not fair on you. Speak to his mum asap, he needs to go see a counselor...be there for him during that time but maybe as friends? and once he feels better, have a think about whetehr you still care for him. In any event, you deserve to be happy
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Lol thanks for the crazy link.
    He would never hurt me.
    I wear the trousers as it were.

    Thankyou boobexy, that's reassured me a lot Thanks.
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    Give him support, it's probably what he needs most.
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    Your boyfriend's emo...
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    after having a close relative with paranoid schizophrenia i can tell you its horrible to take. they heard voices harmed themselfs the lot.. it will only get worse if you dont get him help. he needs help before it gets worse and he ends up doing something terrible.
    oh and yes people with schizophrenia can often relapse the person i know does every year its such a bad thing to live with
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    Children, children, behave or else I will have to close this thread down.
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    Talk to him about it.

    Forcing him to go to the doctors will only get him pissed off at you and defensive. Been there, done that, lost the friends over it. He has to want to change/understand that if he doesn't get help there will be consequences.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Talk to him about it.

    Forcing him to go to the doctors will only get him pissed off at you and defensive. Been there, done that, lost the friends over it. He has to want to change/understand that if he doesn't get help there will be consequences.

    But how about if I talked to his mother about it and then she helps me talk to him about it?
    Or would you suggest going to him first?
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    How depressed would you say he is on a scale of 1 to Kurt Cobain?
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    This is actually a quite difficult one :\. But if you were to confront him about it, I'd say he'd probably agree that he has certain issues that he needs addressed.

    Forcing would never be an option, as "kiss_me" said it'll only get him defensive. Take a different approach, suggest things to him, e.g. you could open the subject by saying something like "babes, i dont feel what your doing is right". etc etc.

    Where you take it from there really depends on how he reacts to what you've just said to him, but let me assure you now that as much as you love him, one day, you will leave him because you simply wont be able to stand it any more. There's only so much people can take, so be straight with him as early as possible.
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    This sounds like schizophrenia. Not just a random term i decided to use; my mother has paranoid schizophrenia.
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    You did the right thing moving out. You need to keep your sanity. It's very hard dealing with emotional blackmail from someone you care about. I think you could start by having a talk with his mum although she will be deeply shocked if this really does come out of the blue. You may find out she does know more than you think.
 
 
 
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