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Majorly screwed up with my girl. watch

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    So my girlfriend's mum has had a brain tumor for some years now. She had to go get a scan and some tests today because the doctors thought it had become dangerous. Naturally my girlfriend (let's call her Jen) is really upset and worried all day, then tonight she finds out her mum has to go in for brain surgery in a couple of weeks to have it removed. The doctors feel that she is low risk, but obviously it's still upsetting to hear that kind of news. When I left I told her I'm there for her and to let me know if she needs anything. I rang her when I got in, then was talking to her on msn etc trying to comfort her and take her mind of things, then suddenly it's 12:03am. I fell asleep. Don't even remember how it happened, last thing i remember was staring at an msn convo. She's freaked out and been asking me to ring her and stuff, then I got the messages:

    "really needed you, don't think I've ever been let down so badly, how could you not know i'd need you tonight, just whatever, i'm done.. so done"

    I tried ringing her and she barely wants to talk to me. I know I majorly ****** here when she needed me most. Any ideas what I can say/do to make this up to her? I don't think the cliche flowers and apology at the doorstep will work here.

    Cheers
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    If i were you i would seriously leave her alone until she approaches you to talk about the issue. trust me, she'll need a massive amount of space
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    Just tell her what happened. Not your fault you fell asleep.

    And if she's still angry get her a teddy bear or some flowers
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    I'm on the phone with her now and she's talking comfortably about other stuff, almost like she's forgiven me but I know she hasn't.
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    Forget yourself, or your relationship for now, just be there for her, she needs you, she's going through hell, so just let her know you are there. Its not your fault if its late and you fell asleep, but I think she has bigger worries right now.
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    you need to give it some time. My boyfriend did the same to me in a similar situation and I was so annoyed because falling asleep at that point is not acceptable in a time of need. Just let her know that it will NEVER happen again and make sure you stand by that. And make sure you are doubly around for her to talk to.
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    (Original post by Doyle&TheFourFathers)
    If i were you i would seriously leave her alone until she approaches you to talk about the issue. trust me, she'll need a massive amount of space

    this
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    (Original post by Casshern1456)
    Just tell her what happened. Not your fault you fell asleep.

    And if she's still angry get her a teddy bear or some flowers
    I have. She doesn't want to hear excuses. This happened before, I think I have some problem staying awake. But again that's all excuses. Arrrggghhh.
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    bake a cake.
    cakes are tasty.
    oh and a cake for her as well.
    everyone loves cake
    (it's good comfort food)
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    She might feel like shes pused you away and blame herself, let her know that your genuinely sorry and that your there for her no matter what.
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    If I were you, and still on the phone, I'd cut off whatever we were talking about and just apologize profusely and say it was all my fault and act (and feel of course) extreeeemely guilty.

    But wait for someone else to confirm my advice, it often gets people in more trouble. :unsure:
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    (Original post by Kyoujin)
    I have. She doesn't want to hear excuses. This happened before, I think I have some problem staying awake. But again that's all excuses. Arrrggghhh.
    There there boy, there there..
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    Dude, don't worry about it. The message she sent you is completely over the top and uncalled for, and it just sounds like she's trying to create drama where there really isn't any. Back off for a bit and leave her to calm down until you talk again. Sure she's having a tough time, but there's no need to take it out on you.
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    Lol, wtf? Does she think you fell asleep on purpose or something? I know she's stressed and all, but srsly, grow the **** up.
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    (Original post by RollerBall)
    Lol, wtf? Does she think you fell asleep on purpose or something? I know she's stressed and all, but srsly, grow the **** up.
    Really? Obviously he didn't do it on purpose, but it's not exactly unreasonable for her to be upset about about that.
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    (Original post by matrix15)
    She might feel like shes pused you away and blame herself, let her know that your genuinely sorry and that your there for her no matter what.
    Like I said it's happened before (again, kinda out of my control - fell asleep without prompt, same situation). I can't promise her it won't happen again because it's not something I'm doing on purpose. Any ideas on what you think could make something like this up to you?
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    Are sleep therapists real, or does that just sound right in my head? If they're real, you may want to see one.
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    It aint your fault mate.
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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)
    Are sleep therapists real, or does that just sound right in my head? If they're real, you may want to see one.
    yes they're real but a doctor will usually do.
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    (Original post by Kyoujin)
    Like I said it's happened before (again, kinda out of my control - fell asleep without prompt, same situation). I can't promise her it won't happen again because it's not something I'm doing on purpose. Any ideas on what you think could make something like this up to you?
    Make it up to her? Sometimes words speak louder than actions, tell her you'll try hard to be there for her whenever she needs picking up. It sounds like what she needs more than anything is support, it may seems like shes pushing you away and being unreasonable having a go at you for falling asleep but I'm sure you genuinely care a lot for her and you appreciate the difficulties shes facing. I'd say the best way to make it up to her was to stick to the promise of being there for her when you can.
 
 
 
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