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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)
    Really? Obviously he didn't do it on purpose, but it's not exactly unreasonable for her to be upset about about that.
    I would say it's unreasonable. He was obviously tired and fell asleep. I would hardly say that was his fault but he still apologised and they should just leave it at that.

    She's threatened to break up with him because he fell asleep at his computer. Oh noes, call the police. Give me a break, she's overreacting.
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    I can't believe all the people saying she 'overeacted'

    I can conclude you either

    a) do not love your mothers

    b) haven't actually had a good think about what it would be like to have a mother with a brain tumour going in for surgery she could die from

    She wasn't really going to break up with him for falling asleep in the middle of the convo, she said it because she was furious, shocked, and hurt that someone with affection for her could have been so detached from the conversation they were having about her mother going in for surgery.

    You can say 'we all need sleep' but unless he has a genuine sleep illness it's almost impossible to fall asleep when you are talking to your own girlfriend about the possible future death of her mother

    OP just be there for her in her time of need, and when you have time, see a doctor and try and sort your life out
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    A very inconsiderate girlfriend. If you are being honest about what you said here, you should remain plain and simple on ur position, don't overdo it while wanting to apologise to her. Tell her you're extremely sorry and that you had no intention of avoiding her like that. Just keep it that way, let time pass and see how it goes. Everytime she brings it up (if she does) just repeat the same thing and say that what has happened has happened and you can't undo it but you could try your best to make up for it. fullstop.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    bake a cake.
    cakes are tasty.
    oh and a cake for her as well.
    everyone loves cake
    (it's good comfort food)
    This. I'd rather somebody spent some time doing something nice for me than going to a garage and picking up flowers/teddy, my ex used to do it all the time if he thought he'd been neglecting me or something and it's just really thoughtless.
    However spending time with her would be a far nicer thing to do if you can.

    Also, why did you bother inventing a name for her (Jen) if you're not going to use it or need it in the rest of your posts?
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    (Original post by O-Ren)
    I can't believe all the people saying she 'overeacted'

    I can conclude you either

    a) do not love your mothers

    b) haven't actually had a good think about what it would be like to have a mother with a brain tumour going in for surgery she could die from
    Simply put, I have my opinion, you don't have any direct experiences of my mind.
    If that really is your attitude **** off you daft bint.
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    (Original post by RollerBall)
    I would say it's unreasonable. He was obviously tired and fell asleep. I would hardly say that was his fault but he still apologised and they should just leave it at that.

    She's threatened to break up with him because he fell asleep at his computer. Oh noes, call the police. Give me a break, she's overreacting.
    First of all, nobody said anything about her breaking up with him. Two, you seem to be oblivious to the fact that when the life of a loved one is hanging by a thread, you're going to be in an emotionally erratic state and very likely to overreact. So it shouldn't surprised you that she responded the way she did. But frankly, she had the right to.

    I'd love to see how you'd take it if you were talking to someone about the impending death of someone you love, and they just stopped paying attention entirely. Don't pretend you wouldn't be upset about it. And chances are, you'd overreact as well.

    Now of course I do sympathize with the OP though, because he has admitted his mistake and obviously feels horrible about it. And he may have a sleeping disorder. But you have to understand where the girl is coming from as well.
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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)
    First of all, nobody said anything about her breaking up with him. I quote "I'm done" fairly sure that's a hint at ending it.Two, you seem to be oblivious to the fact that when the life of a loved one is hanging by a thread I would hardly call a low risk tumor removal "life hanging by a thread". If she was in so much danger they wouldn't be leaving it weeks to remove it, nor would they have left it in her head for years. Christ, it sounds like a semi-regular op, you're going to be in an emotionally erratic state and very likely to overreact. Oblivious how? I even mentioned that she's stressed So it shouldn't surprised you that she responded the way she did. But frankly, she had the right to. Says who?

    I'd love to see how you'd take it if you were talking to someone about the impending death of someone you love, and they just stopped paying attention entirely. Don't pretend you wouldn't be upset about it. And chances are, you'd overreact as well.
    Been there, done that. You don't know me. My step dad had a cereberal aneurysm and was in a semi-vegitative state for a few weeks pre-op. Yeah, I was stressed but I didn't take it out on my friends or girlfriend. It's not their fault.

    Now of course I do sympathize with the OP though, because he has admitted his mistake and obviously feels horrible about it. And he may have a sleeping disorder. But you have to understand where the girl is coming from as well.
    I understand where she's coming from. Which is why I can say I think she's over-reacting. I've been through it, yeah it sucks, but there's no need to take it out on other people. That just makes you an ass.
    See bold.
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    (Original post by RollerBall)
    See bold.
    You don't seem to be understanding the issue here. She's not taking it out on him, she's upset because she felt he wasn't there for her when she needed him. It's very different. He fell asleep when he was supposed to be comforting her. That is something that would upset anyone.
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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)
    You don't seem to be understanding the issue here. She's not taking it out on him, she's upset because she felt he wasn't there for her when she needed him. It's very different. He fell asleep when he was supposed to be comforting her. That is something that would upset anyone.
    Are you that dense that you don't understand I think she's over-reacting? She IS taking it out on him when she's over-reacting. The whole "i'm done, so done" just screams drama queen.

    Yes, it's he fell asleep, but he could hardly go, "oh I'm tired see ya!" Could he? In a typical situation it's something you would just accept the apology and move on, but she clearly isn't. Hence I think she is over-reacting, and the reason she's over reacting is because she's taking the stress out on him.
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    (Original post by RollerBall)
    Are you that dense that you don't understand I think she's over-reacting? She IS taking it out on him when she's over-reacting. The whole "i'm done, so done" just screams drama queen.

    Yes, it's he fell asleep, but he could hardly go, "oh I'm tired see ya!" Could he? In a typical situation it's something you would just accept the apology and move on, but she clearly isn't. Hence I think she is over-reacting, and the reason she's over reacting is because she's taking the stress out on him.
    If you're going to be rude about it, I don't find it worth discussing with you. Who knows, you may have a hard time yourself with empathy and understanding human emotions.

    The whole "I'm done" thing meant "I'm not going to try." It didn't mean she was leaving him. And who cares how he fell asleep? He didn't say "see ya," but that doesn't make it okay. You don't fall asleep in times like that. It doesn't matter how much of a drama queen you think she is, when your girlfriend's mother is dying you do what you can to be there for her. Falling asleep is not that. And I know she overreacted, I said that already. She did it because of her emotional state, which you don't seem to understand.

    It really baffles me that you honestly believe she had no right to be upset about that. And with things like this, just "accepting an apology and moving on" is not easy to do. I find it very understandable that she would have a hard time accepting it entirely without any time at all.
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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)
    Really? Obviously he didn't do it on purpose, but it's not exactly unreasonable for her to be upset about about that.
    But it is quite unreasonable when you consider the fact that he's apologised, yet she's still being cold to him.

    OP - so she needed you but you accidentally fell asleep... i'm sure there were other friends around that could have helped her calm down and surely this one night that you fell asleep by accidentcouldn't kill her.

    She's just making herself more depressed by getting annoyed with you for not being there when right now she knows she needs you.. why!! meh, i don't really understand but then again i'm quite independent. Just listen to all the posters and be there for her, and talk it out later on once her mum's recovered from surgery if she still hasn't forgiven you.
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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)
    If you're going to be rude about it, I don't find it worth discussing with you. Who knows, you may have a hard time yourself with empathy and understanding human emotions.

    The whole "I'm done" thing meant "I'm not going to try." It didn't mean she was leaving him. And who cares how he fell asleep? He didn't say "see ya," but that doesn't make it okay. You don't fall asleep in times like that. It doesn't matter how much of a drama queen you think she is, when your girlfriend's mother is dying you do what you can to be there for her. Falling asleep is not that. And I know she overreacted, I said that already. She did it because of her emotional state, which you don't seem to understand.

    It really baffles me that you honestly believe she had no right to be upset about that. And with things like this, just "accepting an apology and moving on" is not easy to do. I find it very understandable that she would have a hard time accepting it entirely without any time at all.
    Never mind, it's like talking to a pompous wall. It helps if you actualy understand the OP you're talking about btw :roll:
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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)
    If you're going to be rude about it, I don't find it worth discussing with you. Who knows, you may have a hard time yourself with empathy and understanding human emotions.

    The whole "I'm done" thing meant "I'm not going to try." It didn't mean she was leaving him. And who cares how he fell asleep? He didn't say "see ya," but that doesn't make it okay. You don't fall asleep in times like that. It doesn't matter how much of a drama queen you think she is, when your girlfriend's mother is dying you do what you can to be there for her. Falling asleep is not that. And I know she overreacted, I said that already. She did it because of her emotional state, which you don't seem to understand.

    It really baffles me that you honestly believe she had no right to be upset about that. And with things like this, just "accepting an apology and moving on" is not easy to do. I find it very understandable that she would have a hard time accepting it entirely without any time at all.
    please stop straw manning.
    They've said they can see her point of view but thing she is over reacting. Not that they can't understand why she's over reacting.
    Furthermore the reason why he fell asleep is important, it would seem to be about the op being tired, not about the op being bored or simply lazy.
    When we get too tired the body will make it harder and harder for us to stay awake.
    A lack of stimulation will have no doubt also had an effect (bright lights etc.)
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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)
    You don't seem to be understanding the issue here. She's not taking it out on him, she's upset because she felt he wasn't there for her when she needed him. It's very different. He fell asleep when he was supposed to be comforting her. That is something that would upset anyone.
    Yeah, agreed BUT is accepting a heartfelt apology really that hard?
    If it was a continual occurence then fine, but this is only the second time?

    Guess it depends on how understanding she is though
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    That's fine RollerBall, if you're going to be a jerk about it I don't particularly care to talk to you anyway. I'd rather discuss it with people who are actually capable of disagreeing with others without being insulting.

    (Original post by nellydee)
    But it is quite unreasonable when you consider the fact that he's apologised, yet she's still being cold to him.
    Not exactly, the OP said she's fine.

    (Original post by there's too much love)
    please stop straw manning.
    They've said they can see her point of view but thing she is over reacting. Not that they can't understand why she's over reacting.
    Furthermore the reason why he fell asleep is important, it would seem to be about the op being tired, not about the op being bored or simply lazy.
    When we get too tired the body will make it harder and harder for us to stay awake.
    A lack of stimulation will have no doubt also had an effect (bright lights etc.)
    And I've already admitted that she's overreacting. I have seen no indication that the person I was discussing it with has any understanding though. He's basing his entire opinion on how he reacts in such situations, without taking into account that all people are different and react in their own ways to emotional stimuli. Basically, he was saying that she didn't have a right to be upset. And I know how our body treats us when we're tired, and I know that it wasn't entirely his fault too. But that's not something that I would readily accept if I were in his girlfriend's position, and I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't.

    (Original post by nellydee)
    Yeah, agreed BUT is accepting a heartfelt apology really that hard?
    If it was a continual occurence then fine, but this is only the second time?

    Guess it depends on how understanding she is though
    Of course it's not hard, and I'm pretty sure she did accept it. Being the second time does make it continual, though.
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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)

    And I've already admitted that she's overreacting. I have seen no indication that the person I was discussing it with has any understanding though. He's basing his entire opinion on how he reacts in such situations, without taking into account that all people are different and react in their own ways to emotional stimuli. Basically, he was saying that she didn't have a right to be upset. And I know how our body treats us when we're tired, and I know that it wasn't entirely his fault too. But that's not something that I would readily accept if I were in his girlfriend's position, and I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't.
    Erm...where has he said she didn't 'have the right' (hate using that word like that) to be upset?
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    Erm...where has he said she didn't 'have the right' (hate using that word like that) to be upset?
    The fact that he argues with me when my entire point is that she does is what says it.

    Remember, I said: "it's not exactly unreasonable for her to be upset about about that." He responded to my post, saying: "I would say it's unreasonable."

    Right there.
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    (Original post by Delta Usafa)
    The fact that he argues with me when my entire point is that she does is what says it.

    Remember, I said: "it's not exactly unreasonable for her to be upset about about that." He responded to my post, saying: "I would say it's unreasonable."

    Right there.
    however that's in the context of the apology. For her to remain upset seems from a rational point of view unreasonable.
    Understandable, but not reasonable. I'd call it irrational projection personally. I mean that's what she's surely doing projecting bad emotions from one part of her life onto another to make it easier to cope with. It's not a good way to deal with emotions.
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    I don't understand how it is your fault.

    BRB rewriting human biology in order to stop myself sleeping so I can keep you company on MSN at ******* midnight.

    Stupid women.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    however that's in the context of the apology. For her to remain upset seems from a rational point of view unreasonable.
    Understandable, but not reasonable. I'd call it irrational projection personally. I mean that's what she's surely doing projecting bad emotions from one part of her life onto another to make it easier to cope with. It's not a good way to deal with emotions.
    That wasn't in the context of the apology though, or if it is, he was failing to distinguish between the two. His very first post in thread was bashing the girl for being upset about him falling asleep, it had nothing to do with her accepting or rejecting an apology.

    But even so, I still find it somewhat reasonable to have a hard time accepting the apology. Had it been the first time, it would be a lot easier to accept his apology as sincere. But he admitted that it's happened before, so it makes sense that the repeated occurrence could make her feel particularly untrusting about it. I do think she should accept it though.
 
 
 
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