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Is it better to lose virginity to a randomer, as it would hurt less emotionally?

RahRah09

What about the danger of being with a stranger? What if you contract an STI? What if he rapes you? What if you go back to his and he gets all his mates to gangbang you (Unless you're into that)? Hell, what if he murders you?

And yes it does depend on how emotional you are regarding who you shag and how soon. So whatever works for you really.

i dont think i would go back to the guys house, round the back of somewhere or back to mine would do

Reply 21

RahRah09

13

tinktinktinkerbell

i dont think i would go back to the guys house, round the back of somewhere or back to mine would do

Meh, he can still go psycho on you, it's harder to get someone to leave if they're at your house.

And then he knows where you live..

And yeah, call me paranoid. I know 95% of people are generally good, but I don't wanna risk running into that bad lot. I mean, if you had a baby, you could ask a stranger to quickly keep an eye on the baby whilst you went somewhere but you probably wouldn't, would you? Because there's that 5% who would do something horrible.

Reply 22

username234673

17

My first sex was drunk with a randomer. Twas fun! :borat:

Reply 23

Doodahdoo

13

RahRah09

Any girl who says that she can have sex with some randomer and be fine about it is a liar.

If you sleep with someone, you want them to call you back. Simple.

Well this is crap.
I enjoy sex. I like having sex, and I don't see why the fact that I don't have a boyfriend (although I do now, so this is pre-boyfriend) should stop me from doing something that I enjoy, so long as I'm safe. It's got nothing to do with wanting anybody to call you back.

Reply 24

tinktinktinkerbell

16

RahRah09

Meh, he can still go psycho on you, it's harder to get someone to leave if they're at your house.

And then he knows where you live..

And yeah, call me paranoid. I know 95% of people are generally good, but I don't wanna risk running into that bad lot. I mean, if you had a baby, you could ask a stranger to quickly keep an eye on the baby whilst you went somewhere but you probably wouldn't, would you? Because there's that 5% who would do something horrible.

the thing is though everyone has the capability of turning nasty, you could meet someone, fall for them then have sex and they could still turn out to be crazy

how many times to we hear of people meeting someone and getting married then the guy turns round and starts kicking the **** out of his wife

i thought i was the least trusting person ever but i think you even beat me on that lol

Reply 25

RahRah09

13

tinktinktinkerbell

the thing is though everyone has the capability of turning nasty, you could meet someone, fall for them then have sex and they could still turn out to be crazy

how many times to we hear of people meeting someone and getting married then the guy turns round and starts kicking the **** out of his wife

i thought i was the least trusting person ever but i think you even beat me on that lol

xD hehe

Yeah you're right. My ex turned out to be a right nut. It's kinda scary how you can go out with someone for ages and in the end know absolutely nothing about them.

But I have been a lot more paranoid since I went back to a guy's house and he assaulted me, just makes you think more. He seemed so nice. I sure know how to pick 'em :rolleyes:

I am actually overly trusting, that's why I'm trying to be more careful.

Reply 26

tinktinktinkerbell

16

RahRah09

xD hehe

Yeah you're right. My ex turned out to be a right nut. It's kinda scary how you can go out with someone for ages and in the end know absolutely nothing about them.

But I have been a lot more paranoid since I went back to a guy's house and he assaulted me, just makes you think more. He seemed so nice. I sure know how to pick 'em :rolleyes:

I am actually overly trusting, that's why I'm trying to be more careful.

sorry to hear about your assault, some people really are pricks

i guess if that has happened to me then i would most likely think the same as you

Reply 27

RahRah09

13

tinktinktinkerbell

sorry to hear about your assault, some people really are pricks

i guess if that has happened to me then i would most likely think the same as you

Uh huh.

Stay safe girlie :smile:

Reply 28

tinktinktinkerbell

16

RahRah09

Uh huh.

Stay safe girlie :smile:

i will do

Reply 29

Danielle89

14

I lost mine to a guy I'd been seeing for a few months. He later treated me really badly but to be honest I was more upset about the way he'd treated me because I didnt see it coming than because he "stole my virginity" or whatever. At the end of the day during the actual act he was caring and gentle so I dont regret it at all - it got that old chestnut out the way without it being with someone I may have been at risk of catching something from

Reply 30

Lantick

It's interesting to see all the female responses and hardly any male ones.

Honestly in my opinion I think it means alot more to a girl, than it does a guy, with all the emotions etc, now I'm not saying that goes for everyone, but just as a general rule of thumb.

I mean personally I lost my virginity to a random girl I pulled in a night club when I was pretty tipsy. I doubt many girls would do that. I just went with the flow and for me it was just a case of getting it over and done with and losing the 'virgin' tag in my head.

I'm not ashamed about it, I'm not bothered about it and to be honest I didn't mention I was a virgin to her at all, moral? immoral? I didn't care. I was pretty tipsy and used it as an excuse.

Being a guy I think in my opinion it's just a matter of getting it over and done with, at my school there was always alot of pressure on us guys to lose it and it was alot harder for those who wern't in a relationship.

Each to there own though

Reply 31

Ilora-Danon

3

I would say hold fire on any decisions about losing your virginity until you've fully accepted this relationship is over. You seriously need to be able to look at this rationally, and atm, I don't believe you can.

You're hurting right now. The guy you love has just ended it with you and you're wanting to lose your virginity to some random guy!? NO. Not a sensible idea at all. You're emotionally confused and this is not the right time to make a decision like sleeping with someone for the first time.

Your opinions about relationships and sex have been tainted by your hurt and you're not seeing things properly or rationally. Just because you lose your virginity to someone, does not mean you're going to get hurt or that it's going to hurt you less emotionally if you sleep with a randomer. I think in your current mindset you will hurt far MORE if you sleep with a randomer right now.

Take some time for yourself. Take the time to grieve for this relationship that has just ended and take your time. You're in no hurry, it's not a race. So just take the time to get over this break up and then reassess what you want, in the future. Seriously, you're just lashing out because you're hurt. Losing your virginity right now will only exacerbate how hurt you're feeling.

Is it better to lose virginity to a randomer, as it would hurt less emotionally?

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