Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

at what age did you start to really enjoy sex? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'd like to know what age you guys have felt comfortable enough/confident enough having sex to just enjoy it and for it not to be a problem in relationships?

    I'm just wondering- because I'm a girl of 19, I lost my virginity at 17 and have slept with 4 different boys, each on only one occasion. I once went far-ish with a girl but felt really uncomfortable/awkward about it- I may have made things a bit awkward for her/ I worry I was leading her without realising it.

    I have never seen sex as an emotional thing- but I've always been a) nervous about not being good b) felt really awkward about it- easily embarrassed ect- I think this is because my parents are quite conservative/traditional in certain ways- they see sex as purely an expression of love and intimacy and think all casual sex is generally a bad thing (they never impose rules/ are not religious/ are very tolerant people- but they just don't really seem to 'get' the appeal of casual sex)

    I've also always been completely untroubled by the fact I've gone through phases of being attracted to/having feelings for girls, and I feel completely comfortable kissing a girl, but not doing anything else. (and I suppose I do feel quite awkward about the thought of other girls knowing about this). I kind of wonder if doing other stuff with girls is for me in the same category as having a threesome/ different positions.

    Sex is my major issue when I have a relationship- I'm not at all comfortable with having sex with people who know people I know- my last boyfriend was the sweetest person ever and all our friends are lovely people- but I just felt so so embarrassed by their good-humoured jokes about us/ any reference to sex almost. With him, I felt awkward because he was awkward in bed, really innocent and had no idea what he was doing (and neither do I really if I'm honest). With boys who are a lot more experienced, I just feel frustrated because I'm not better at it/ generally embarrassed/worried about what they will say to their friends about me (because people tend to ask a lot).

    I find english people are a lot more tolerant and up-tight than people I met when I lived in continental europe (spanish, mexican, swedish, dutch, american)

    I keep thinking right now 'well it'll just get better when I'm in my mid-twenties/late twenties..

    thoughts?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    My experience is that it's only good when you get used to someone, and feel comfortable with each other - practice makes perfect as they say. I had sex with 2 people before having a long term boyfriend, and he was the only one I enjoyed it with, because it was part of a relationship, and we were able to make it good.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Honestly, this past year
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I don't think it will automatically get better for you as you get older, you seem to have a completely different take on sex to me. it's as a very natural thing and am very comfortable with it, it was a little awkward to start with, but it didnt take long to get over that
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Totally agree. The physical can be good when it's good, but knowing and loving and caring about the person you're sleeping with gives it a whole new, mind-blowing dimension.
    Oh, and just about over a year ago, when I got with my long-term boyfriend and first love.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by devotchka_)
    Totally agree. The physical can be good when it's good, but knowing and loving and caring about the person you're sleeping with gives it a whole new, mind-blowing dimension.
    Oh, and just about over a year ago, when I got with my long-term boyfriend and first love.
    :yep:
    I agree
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    You girls have the easy job. It's on the guy to last and give you a good time.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'd like to know what age you guys have felt comfortable enough/confident enough having sex to just enjoy it and for it not to be a problem in relationships?

    I'm just wondering- because I'm a girl of 19, I lost my virginity at 17 and have slept with 4 different boys, each on only one occasion. I once went far-ish with a girl but felt really uncomfortable/awkward about it- I may have made things a bit awkward for her/ I worry I was leading her without realising it.

    I have never seen sex as an emotional thing- but I've always been a) nervous about not being good b) felt really awkward about it- easily embarrassed ect- I think this is because my parents are quite conservative/traditional in certain ways- they see sex as purely an expression of love and intimacy and think all casual sex is generally a bad thing (they never impose rules/ are not religious/ are very tolerant people- but they just don't really seem to 'get' the appeal of casual sex)

    I've also always been completely untroubled by the fact I've gone through phases of being attracted to/having feelings for girls, and I feel completely comfortable kissing a girl, but not doing anything else. (and I suppose I do feel quite awkward about the thought of other girls knowing about this). I kind of wonder if doing other stuff with girls is for me in the same category as having a threesome/ different positions.

    Sex is my major issue when I have a relationship- I'm not at all comfortable with having sex with people who know people I know- my last boyfriend was the sweetest person ever and all our friends are lovely people- but I just felt so so embarrassed by their good-humoured jokes about us/ any reference to sex almost. With him, I felt awkward because he was awkward in bed, really innocent and had no idea what he was doing (and neither do I really if I'm honest). With boys who are a lot more experienced, I just feel frustrated because I'm not better at it/ generally embarrassed/worried about what they will say to their friends about me (because people tend to ask a lot).

    I find english people are a lot more tolerant and up-tight than people I met when I lived in continental europe (spanish, mexican, swedish, dutch, american)

    I keep thinking right now 'well it'll just get better when I'm in my mid-twenties/late twenties..

    thoughts?
    That's where you're going wrong - you're not going to have really good sex the first time of sleeping with someone. You need to take the time to learn what works for each other and become comfortable with each other.

    For me personally, 18 when I got my first serious boyfriend
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Kyoujin)
    You girls have the easy job. It's on the guy to last and give you a good time.
    Believe me, girls don't always want guys to last for ages. It just starts to hurt.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    At 17 (nearly 18) when me and my boyfriend started having sex.

    It wasn't as good with my ex :nope:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    At what age did you start to really enjoy sex?

    Hmm... must have started enjoying sex at about 7. Before then it was bit boring to be honest, I used to find Balamory more enjoyable.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I completely agree with all that has been said here- despite being with my ex for over 3 years (we had A LOT of issues, why it went on so long I really don't know), it is only with my current boyfriend that sex has really become "mind-blowing". It's just got progressively better as we've been together (now about 8/9 months), and I know it's because we are so completely in love and comfortable around each other, we both know we can be completely relaxed and try anything and it will be ok! In a way I think it's also partly confidence, I definitely feel more confident as I've got older.
    Sex with someone new I always find nerve wracking, it's natural to be nervous or worried when you first start to be that intimate with someone. Like someone else pointed out, the fact that you have slept with each of these people only on one occasion is probably a lot of the problem!
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    I never believed in sex before marriage, because I'm a Christian. When I met this guy however he totally made me question my beliefs. We had sex, and have it regularly now, and I enjoy it, because it's right. We didn't sleep together until we'd been together for six months, so I know he's in it for more than that. It really feels special with him, and I'm glad I made the decision I did.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Lolz funy how on Tsr, most sex threads have more girls replying

    strong virgin guys on here
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Late 16, but that was because of the person I was sleeping with, not anything to do with me having confidence issues.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Lilwaynefan)
    Lolz funy how on Tsr, most sex threads have more girls replying

    strong virgin guys on here
    Just like you :woo:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I've been having sex since an early age because it made me feel like I was amazing. But looking back on it, I do realise I think I enjoyed bRagging about it more.
    I was in a relationship with a guy for about three months and the sex on that relationship was some of the worst, so I don't even know if I will ever have that 'mind blowing dimension' that everyone talks about if you're in love with someone, and I'm scared at that thought :/
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I guess my issue at 19 is that I just can't envisage ever being comfortable with sex/ being naked with someone- does anyone relate to this?
    I feel like its hard-wired into me because of my upbringing and my personality (perfectionistic, overthinking things, worried about making a fool of myself in a lot of situations)
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Lilwaynefan)
    Lolz funy how on Tsr, most sex threads have more girls replying

    strong virgin guys on here
    Mabye, or females are just generally more open about it
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Meeech)
    I've been having sex since an early age because it made me feel like I was amazing. But looking back on it, I do realise I think I enjoyed bRagging about it more.
    I was in a relationship with a guy for about three months and the sex on that relationship was some of the worst, so I don't even know if I will ever have that 'mind blowing dimension' that everyone talks about if you're in love with someone, and I'm scared at that thought :/
    Don't worry about it!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 23, 2010
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.