The Student Room Group

Essential knowledge for Cambridge students

Following an excellent lead .. =P

1.) Mondays are for Fez, Tuesdays are for Life, Wednesdays/Thursdays are for Cindies, Fridays are for Ents/Bops, Saturdays are for more Ents/Bops and Sundays are for a drink in the bar.

2.) Van of Life all the way, Gardies is overrated (apart from veggie burgers), and Van of Death ain't called that for nothing.

3.) Punting, if it isn't already should be your primary method of transport. Lectures in Mill Lane? Punt there. Fancy a meal outside college? Punt down that place with a subway and some restaurants. Fancy a drink? Punt to the Anchor, or perhaps just a college on the river. What do you mean you don't own your own punt yet?

4.) Mill Road is a road behind Parker's Piece, but it's cunningly disguised as a normal road in a normal city! Amazing!

5.) Partaking in RAG Blind Date is mandatory according to all college matriculation agreements.

6.) The LibDems *really* want your vote, and there's no chance of you forgetting *that* :wink:

7.) Exam term should be spent in gardens watching productions of a Midsummer Night's Dream, take champagne with you, everybody else will.

8.) Jumping in the Cam may seem like a good idea but freshers never realise it's very shallow and lined with sharp objects, wait until you're particularly inebriated.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
sundays are also good for life. tuesdays and wednesdays for cindies, thursdays and (possibly) sundays for the Soul Tree (formerly Coco's)

don't punt. get a bike. the more rattly and dangerous, the better.

i'm a small person with long hair. i can quite easily stand up in the cam and emerge with dry hair. that's how shallow it is. beware. coxs' have injured themselves after being catapulted in by their fellow boat crew members.

you may however, be asked to jump in the cam during freshers' week. if you are so inclined, you will only be so because of large alcohol intake. remember this. it will still hurt.
Reply 2
Remember that whatever you do, someone will be watching. Especially at Clare. And then EVERYONE will know.

Thou shalt not set foot in Wetherspoons (The Regal) at the weekend. Going for curry night (Thurs) is acceptable. Their cocktail jugs are a rip off.

Row if you want to, but don't let them steal your soul.

Honour thy college parents, for they shall buy you drinks. Beware of letchy college dads.

Go to as many college formals as you can, but don't think that you're the first person to have thought of this.

I had another brilliant one but I forgot it :redface:
Reply 3
Don't ever vote Lib Dem in cambridge.

Learn where any supermarket type shop that isn't sainsburys is.

Be prepared to explain what a cob is to 99% of the people you use this word in front of.
Reply 4
Boaties will flatter, cajole and downright lie to get you in a boat. Do not believe them.

Pimms is mandatory in exam term, bonus points for during exams.

Girton is a half hour walk to Cambridge, it is not in Cambridge, do not listen to those who claim it is.

If you're ever asked for directions to somewhere outside the university, you don't know the answer, so don't bother.

Porters are quality, get on their right side and they'll give you cakes or loan you a wooden sword. Piss them off and they'll punish you and may even take the piss out of you during stand up comedy if you go to Clare. Letting your excessively drunk mate negotiate with them when they break up a party is never a good idea, ever.


A.
Reply 5
Ensure you have frequent contact with normals to reassure yourself that compared to the rest of the world you're not actually as dim as you feel.
Reply 6
crana9
Ensure you have frequent contact with normals to reassure yourself that compared to the rest of the world you're not actually as dim as you feel.

so THATS why you speak to me on msn then:frown:
Reply 7
You think you count as a "normal"?
Reply 8
on second thoughts, ignore that:p:
crana9
You think you count as a "normal"?

he does definately not, metro...
Reply 10
Nice thread...when I first read the thread title I was convinced that it had something to do with study skills! :wink: :rolleyes:
Go to as may plays as possible - lots of them are really high quality and it's cheap (not to mention the fact that ADC bar is open until people stop buying).

Punting IS better than cycling but not when it's windy and rainy.

Make sure you always have a supply of tea/coffee and biscuits in your room.

Try as many of the pubs as possible - my personal favourites are the mill and the pickerel. Wetherspoons is big and full of 40 year old chavs.

If you want to get a piece of work done, go toi the UL to do it (if it's an essay you can use the computers in digital resources). If you get bored of the work you're doing then go to the UL tea room and have a piece of cake.

Go to at least some college bops. Try and choose ones with cheesey fancydress themes. Make sure you get ratted before hand.

MB
Alaric

Girton is a half hour walk to Cambridge, it is not in Cambridge, do not listen to those who claim it is.

A.


You are not telling the truth, I'm not listening to you!

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA! (shouts, using hands to cover ears)
Reply 13
I was walking up to some graveyard the other day thinking it was close to Town. Three hours later I find myself at a sign saying "Girton 3/4 mile". Luckily managed to run back to civilization before I was accosted by highway robbers and starved to death.

If you haven't started planning your dress for May Ball now then you're already three months behind every other girl going to Cambridge.

Walk to the Orchard at Granchester if it's sunny. It isn't that far, you can do a lot of reading and they sell Scones... with cream... the clotted kind... mmmmm

Walk through tourists photos. They sell for more back home if they have genuine students in them.

Arrange to meet groups of Natscis on their way home from Lectures to take them to the Wine Merchant and use the discount. "Hmm.... I think we'll go for a science question please!"

Rowing is great until you realise that there really is nothing more to learn after the first term... and therefore you've wasted the last two...

Jazz at Clare is always good.

Switch to an undersubscribed subject at the end of every year. That way you get a bigger social budget spent on you.

There is a reason punts don't have lights on them. It makes midnight punting much more fun.

Wait until you're a uni to buy books. You get a book grant after all.

Come up with a fourth question to ask now. Breaks the first day monotony of "What a-levels did you do? Where you from? What course you doing?"

Bring a curly straw for matriculation dinner. It's the first time you've worn a suit and they always serve soup!
Reply 14
I remembered my genius one, but it shall have to come among some more musings.

Don't believe anyone who says they are "really bad" at any instrument they play. They probably have a diploma.

Don't go to buttery lunch with medics after they've had dissection.
(this is Tues/Thurs mornings for one group and Mon/Fri for another)

Unless you seriously wish to wear hoodies and go around converting-the-heathen, stay away from CICCU. Even if you're a Christian.

Similarly to Oxford, the Union is most likely not worth the money. Don't sign up after the first debate you've been to and liked, give it a few weeks.

Be nice to your bedder for the first few weeks. You never know when their goodwill may help you.

We'd rather go to Oxford than St. John's but they do have a kickass may ball
Reply 15
I suddenly have massive deja vu, I haven't accidentally recreated a thread made a few weeks ago have I?
Reply 16
We'd rather go to Oxford than St. John's


True. And it doesn't matter if you don't know the words... or even the tune. It's the spirit of the thing! Just sing the first line loud to whatever tune you want and then mumble the rest and tail off.

Oh and pay no attention to one way street signs. They're just there for... In fact I don't know who they are there for, no students, locals or tourists pay any attention...
Reply 17
Surely that IS the only line?
Reply 18
Convert at least half of your student loan into pennies to make matric dinner more interesting.

Fashionable at home = "interesting" at Cambridge

If a journey is more than four minutes walk, it requires a bike.

You don't need to cycle to the Cavendish lab. There is a handy free bus that will ensure you are in your seat by 1:58pm.

Overnight punting during exam term is essential. Bonus points to anyone who can bridge jump. Even more points to anyone who can prevent the bridge jumper getting back in the punt.

You can swim down the backs without getting bitten. Fall in near Granchester and Cam creatures will eat you alive.

Sam Smiley is God.

It's difficult walking on cobbles in stilettos.

You will still be expected to go to formal, stand in a queue for Cindy's and for the van when it is snowing.

Learn to like wine.

Tourists WILL walk in front of you on your bike. Feel free to cycle into them, then shout. A fun game when cycling is to aim directly at people walking in the road.

Following on from that last one... Don't walk in the road.
Reply 19
crana9
Be prepared to explain what a cob is to 99% of the people you use this word in front of.

What IS a cob? :confused: