I understand your mum's viewpoint more now that you've explained about your brother flunking his degree course. Just speculation, but your parents may feel as if they didn't monitor your brother's progress and study time enough, and that may have contributed to him failing, and so are determined to do the opposite with you... This may be completely wrong, but this happened to my little brother after I slacked off in my AS levels, even though I pulled back to very good grades in my second year and regardless of the fact that we are not the same person. Parents don't tend to view kids' individualities in cases like this, they just see their role and feel that they need to help you succeed, whether you need it or not.
Another possibility is that she may be slightly jealous - do you think that might be true? Just because she has no qualifications does not mean she never wanted them - she may just have never had the opportunities like you.
On a much simpler wavelength OP, it's been such a long time since your parents did academic work they may count it as 'not in the real world', as it's not a proper hard graft 9-5 job. It's like now, if you think back to A-levels or GCSEs, you think, "they were a lot easier than I thought at the time" - yes, this is true as you've progressed, but at the time they were the major academic milestone you found very daunting. This may not be quite relevant though as your mother never 'academically progressed' past degree level, but I think the mindset is still very true.
All I can suggest is for you to either make yourself scarce so that she doesn't know what you've been doing and so can't claim that you're being lazy - 24hour library, local coffee shop, friend's house - or talk to her maturely and state that you're working, this is what works best for you and you appreciate how much support she's giving you (accommodation, food, etc) and just want to make the best of it so you manage to do better than your brother - not in an "i'm better than him" way, but I'm sure your parents will agree they'd rather you got a qualification from 3/4 years of study.
Hope it works out for you OP! x
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starting to get annoyed with my mother watch
- 22-01-2010 14:26
(Original post by FrancesO)
- 22-01-2010 22:19
I just looked that up, that is bizarre. How the hell are you supposed to look for jobs on something like that?
I couldn't believe it when I found out about it. There's a 2 week period of "classes" all day every day, which is bad enough, but at least you can get first aid certificates etc. which could be useful on a CV. But the 13 week period of "volunteer" work really struck me as... just wrong. It's 35 hours of work a week for £50 if you're under 25 (£65 or something over 25, not much better). That works out as £1.42 an hour. It's unbelievable. They get around it legally by calling it "volounteer" work. You can choose not to volunteer, but the result is that you get left with nothing at all. Honestly, it's damn lucky I found employment just before I had to start it... i was so angry about the situation I could honestly have smacked the "advisors" in the face every time I had to sit and listen to their patronising crap.
It's fairly widely known that the whole system was set up years ago, before the recession, when employment was plentiful - basically saying "you might as well get a real job because we'll make you work anyway". But now we're in a situation where thousands of people genuinely desperately want to find work, aren't doing anything wrong, are trying their hardest... but the jobs just aren't there... and they end up forced into this. Yes there were chavs, speshes, junkies and other associated down-and-outs at the induction I went to - but there were probably MORE people who had been laid off from their jobs, univesity graduates and middle aged professionals made redundant. I reckon it's shocking.