When i was around 7 years old(I'm male), two older boys persuaded me to perform sexual acts upon them, they never used physical force, but manipulated me into doing it. At the time i was at a private school and had quite a sheltered life, i really had no idea what sexual acts were, (although that many sound daft these days when a lot seven year olds do). I didn't know if what i was doing was right/wrong, i didn't even know what homosexuality was. The boys were around 11-12, and would of been educated as to what sex was a point (they went to the same school as me), so they clearly knew what was going on and what i meant. All i knew was that i felt good i guess, but i wasn't sure why. Once i grew up and had sex education lesson i started to realise what i had actually done, and it was then it started to have an impact on me. I was always sure that i was my own choice, as i hadn't been physically forced, so i assumed that it was all my fault. This upset and distressed me through my last year at primary school.
Once i got older it started to get worse, it was at secondary school when i learned all about homo-sexuality, and the stigmas attached to it. (I am not gay by the way). When i was thirteen i learned that the same boys had physically beaten and forced a girl to do the exact same thing, and that's when alarm bells started ringing, but i still believed in my case it was all my fault.
As i got older i started to think hang on, was i actually sexually abused? I genunienly had no idea what i was doing or what i meant, and i feel that i was manipulated by people who i trusted (best friends) who knew what was going on yet persuaded me to do it. (I was hesitant at first, not sure why seeing as i didn't know what i was doing). So now i'm awfully confused, was i or wasn't i?
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