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Gf's dad says im not leaving gf. watch

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    Tell her to get an abortion or you're leaving her :indiff:
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    (Original post by yodude888)
    Why is it that if a woman wants an abortion but the father doesn't... she's still allowed to have the abortion, isn't she?

    But then if the man wants his baby aborted and the mother doesn't... she's still allowed to have the baby, AND pretty much for the father to pay out for child support.
    Yeah i've always wondered this, people argue that "it's the womans body" which is true, but on the other hand it is as much the fathers baby as it is the mothers, also if it's the mother's body, she was the one that got pregnant in the first place, if they're going with the "it's the mother's body" thing, then she shouldn't get pregnant in the first place, and the father should have some influence in the decision..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ok this is all weird but I got my first gf at 20 I was a virgin up till then and Ive been with her a year. We have had our arguments, split up once then got back together because she said she wanted to and that I was selfish for leading her on then ignoring her feelings. Ive told her several times that we are better just being friends we just don't get on in a relationship but she starts crying and saying we just need more time and I always believe her. She goes and tells all her friends and family that Im messing her about I know that her family expecially her dad doesn't like me I do like her but we just don't get on in a relationship yet we were fine as friends:confused:

    Cut a long story short we have stayed together but its not really in the romantic way we have been having sex a lot less and are more like friends again. The week before though she told me she was pregnant, she wants to keep it and I thought right Im not ready at all for this we have been using protection (I swear) its a shock but these things happen Im going to have to support her and play my part. Ive told her whatever happens to our relationship I'l support her. Ive not a clue what she has told her dad but he bascially saw me, said 'come here' came over to me (when i was walking to uni) grabbed me lightly and said in a very threatening voice 'you do know you are going to stay with her now lad don't you, its your responsibility and if you go anywhere you'l have me to see, just letting you know ok'. When he went I was sort of shaking a bit and thought what the hell but the fact that he has threatened me actually makes me want to leave her! Im willing and would want to be part of bringing the baby up but don't see why I should take this c***. Anyone have any advice?
    You need to be sure if she really is pregnant. she could be making that up so that you'll stay with her (for longer) and hopefully change your mind eventually.
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    If she's actually pregnant, tell her you'll help out but don't want a relationship before she gets pregnant with your second child.
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    Make it clear that you won't stay with her romantically whether she has the child or not. But that you will support it.

    Say this to her in front of her parents, with your parents present perhaps.

    I don't think you'll get too much of the screaming heeby jeebies or the threats of violence if you bring some parental back up.

    I would be seriously suspecting pretend-baby syndrome.


    As for the abortion issue:

    It ultimately has to be the woman's choice (although this certainly is not 100% fair) because both abortion and birth carry health risks, and intricately involve her control over her own body.
    Forcing a woman to abort a child she really wants would be frankly inhumane (can you even imagine it) - and it would be forcing treatment.
    Forcing a woman to keep a child is less clear-cut, as perhaps it is inhumane to rob a man of a child he wants/feels attached to, but then there are a lot of risks and costs associated with pregnancy and childbirth. Things that don't apply to the man in any way.

    As for maintenance payments - well it doesn't seem fair to give the man no choice in an abortion, and no choice in the financial outcome. But allowing fathers to get away without paying is certainly not in the best interests of the child, is it? It can't help being an accident, and fathers do bear some responsibility (takes two to tango).
    If the mother didn't want to care for the child and the father did (after it was born) i would likewise be the most fair thing to ask her to pay maintenance as well.

    There is unfortunately, no way to sort out unwanted pregnancy (where the parents disagree on arrangements) fairly and with the best interests of the child. I guess the law aims for what is most fair.
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    She's been knocked up by her father. That explains everything.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can't deny that she is manipulative but I don't think she would go this far. I asked her what she wants to do and said that its not really the best time for a baby but she said shes definitely keeping it and will get a full time job. I told her that I'l support her whatver happens to the relalationship and she was like 'don't start this again' and started yelling. She will have gone and told her dad what I said and its resulted in this..
    A you sure she's pregnant though? Could be that she's manipulating you so that you can stay with her... Also if I were you I'd have a little chat with her dad again, this time telling him to back off. But sugar-coat it a little bit :p:
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    Sorry but I don't like the sounds of your 'girlfriend'. Why keep a baby when the relationship is going nowhere!
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    He's probably just worried for his daughter and grandchild. Maybe the baby could bring you and your girlfriend closer together, and then maybe her dad will be better with you. Possibly talk to your girlfriend about what her dad's done and explain that that's just unfair?
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    Take her to court for sperm banditry. Try and get her done for theft or I dunno, at least get some compensation. At least the court case if you win will set a precedence for the man's rights to his own body (you used protection as far as you know) and generally not getting shafted for kids he didn't want and took all reasonable precautions against.

    Most of all estalbish whether this child is in fact A) real and B) yours.

    Oh and break up with her regardless, be there for your kid if you so wish, but make it clear you are not going to be in a relationship with her.


    I agree that she sounds manipulative so be careful.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ok this is all weird but I got my first gf at 20 I was a virgin up till then and Ive been with her a year. We have had our arguments, split up once then got back together because she said she wanted to and that I was selfish for leading her on then ignoring her feelings. Ive told her several times that we are better just being friends we just don't get on in a relationship but she starts crying and saying we just need more time and I always believe her. She goes and tells all her friends and family that Im messing her about I know that her family expecially her dad doesn't like me I do like her but we just don't get on in a relationship yet we were fine as friends:confused:

    Cut a long story short we have stayed together but its not really in the romantic way we have been having sex a lot less and are more like friends again. The week before though she told me she was pregnant, she wants to keep it and I thought right Im not ready at all for this we have been using protection (I swear) its a shock but these things happen Im going to have to support her and play my part. Ive told her whatever happens to our relationship I'l support her. Ive not a clue what she has told her dad but he bascially saw me, said 'come here' came over to me (when i was walking to uni) grabbed me lightly and said in a very threatening voice 'you do know you are going to stay with her now lad don't you, its your responsibility and if you go anywhere you'l have me to see, just letting you know ok'. When he went I was sort of shaking a bit and thought what the hell but the fact that he has threatened me actually makes me want to leave her! Im willing and would want to be part of bringing the baby up but don't see why I should take this c***. Anyone have any advice?

    if u been using protection.. sounds like your gf been spreading her legs for other lads. soz bro
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    (Original post by Absinth)
    Do you reckon his threats are genuine? Didn't your girlfriend consult you on the baby issue at all? I think you are probably better out of this relationship. It sounds like your girlfriend really wants this relationship, but isn't considering your happiness at all.

    Do you think she's telling the truth about being pregnant?
    hes a father - i would such said threat very seriously


    doesnt mean its the right idea
 
 
 
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