This may be long, I apologise in advance if so.
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and I've gotten to be really good friends with his circle of friends and go out with them most weekends. He's known this one girl since middle school and when I first met her, we got on quite well and I would speak to her quite a lot when we were out together.
Around October of last year she invited me over to her house for dinner, just the two of us because she was having a rough time with her boyfriend and she wanted some company. We ended up having a really good heart to heart and decided to make this dinner thing a weekly event.
Now here's the problem. The more time I spend with this girl, the more I realise how incredibly selfish, self-centred and arrogant she is. All she talks about is her problems with her boyfriend (who, FYI, is a total **** and walks all over her. Everyone has told her to get rid of him because he's treating her like ****, but she won't listen). On Thursday, I went over to hers for dinner and told her that earlier that day I'd been for my first ever counselling session and had mixed emotions about the whole thing. Her response was "oh, I think I should go to counselling because of John (her boyfriend)", then proceeded to talk about him for the rest of the night.
Tonight, four of us went out for dinner and she dominated the whole conversation and spoke only about herself. She was talking about her ex's new girlfriend and I said "oh I know how you feel, my ex's new girlfriend was a psycho too" and she just said "yeah, so anyway..." and carried talking about herself. She then looked around the restaurant and said "I'm way too good for this place, it's full of scum", she wasn't joking.
I literally do not know what to do, I've told my boyfriend how I feel and he's agreed that she is very self-centred and that's why he avoids spending time one on one with her. But I can't exactly cancel our dinner date every week as it will become obvious that I don't want to spend time with her.
I don't feel like I can talk to her about this as there's no nice way of saying "I'm sick of you talking about yourself", plus I know if I said anything, she would ***** about me to the rest of the group.
My "friend" watch
- Thread Starter
- 23-01-2010 02:11
- 23-01-2010 02:18
Hmm maybe you can make excuses every now and then, for next week anyway so that's out the way. If you find a common ground to talk about -something you both like then it might help. Or why don't you watch a movie and use the movie as an excuse not to talk? I have a friend like that too. Hmm. You could just try and win the conversation back, butt in with your story maybe.
- 23-01-2010 03:50
People love to talk about themselves. This sounds like a classical case and you've just got to deal with it.
If you dont want to dicuss it with her, cancel the weekly meeting. No point beating about the bush
- 17-10-2010 15:15
Drive by and some KFC afterwards?
- 17-10-2010 15:27
Make an excuse for next week. Arrange it, however cancel due to ill health, family commitments, or even "i have an essay in for tommorow".
Then say you will re arrange the date, (however you may forget to organise it due to being busy....). Gradually do this.
Another option is to be honest. I had a mate who talked about nothing but his ex girlfriend. I kept saying, youve got to get over her, or completly change the subject to football or "guess what happened today" Just make sure the conversation is totally irrelevant to boyfriends or relationships.
When she does bring up john, just say yes, or dont oh, dont ask her to clarify things and look disinterested, people do pick up that you dont care, and she may talk less about him ?
does this help ?