Turn on thread page Beta

Imagine you discovered your best friend was sexually attracted to children...? watch

    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    Pretty much the same as when I found out my one mate was gay... take the piss :cool:
    Not that I would have the nerve to go snooping through my friend's diary.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by Pheonixx)
    Are you just stating an opinion or are you about to join in on the 8 pages (so far) of angry debate? :o:
    just stating an opinion

    (Original post by innerhollow)

    Yeah, I know my answer to this would be completely different if I was a parent. I'm likely never going to have children, but on the off-chance I did end up being a parent, my answer would be somewhat similar to yours. I wouldn't allow the friend to come to my house anymore or be around my children again, regardless of how sure they were they could never hurt a child, parental protective feelings would kick in instantly for me too. However, I wouldn't break off the friendship considering how depressed and suicidal they were. I'd still go over to visit them, just on my own or with my partner/other friends, certainly my children would never see their face again.

    On a slightly different note, an internet forum isn't exactly the most amazing place to have photos of your children circulating round. And if you're going to do something like that, shouldn't you at least put some clothes on your baby?
    Well you say you wouldn't break off the friendship, but wouldn't you feel betrayed? They'd have been around your children all this time, not telling you the true nature of how they feel about children. You've allowed them into your house, around your children, and all the while they have been likely having inappropriate thoughts about your kids?
    I'd feel like this person couldn't be trusted, and I'd feel betrayed. I don't know about you, but to me, to be friends with somebody you have to feel as though you can at least trust them.

    As for the pic of my baby, he's not naked you know. Half his body is covered by a gigantic nappy. There are photos of babies in far greater states of nakedness online which people would be more likely to be looking at if they were paedophiles.
    There are literally millions of photos of kids online, I doubt anybody would choose to perve over my perfectly innocent pics in my sig.
    ...and on that note I'm leaving this conversation because it's starting to get a bit disturbing.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I won't quote you then.
    I would image a paedophile not planning on acting on his urges would avoid interacting with children at all costs so they would never been in the situation for them to betray you. It's like an ex-alcoholic won't even visit a pub in case they spark up/ make it harder for themselves to resist the alcohol.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)
    just stating an opinion

    Well you say you wouldn't break off the friendship, but wouldn't you feel betrayed? They'd have been around your children all this time, not telling you the true nature of how they feel about children. You've allowed them into your house, around your children, and all the while they have been likely having inappropriate thoughts about your kids?
    I'd feel like this person couldn't be trusted, and I'd feel betrayed. I don't know about you, but to me, to be friends with somebody you have to feel as though you can at least trust them.
    Good point. However, I don't think I really would feel betrayed. On such a horrific topic as paedophilia, you can hardly expect honesty from other people. Paedophiles don't exactly live in a society where they can go around announcing to all their friends, "Hey I'm looking forward to tommorow's party. Thanks for making sure your kids won't be there! Wouldn't want to get aroused by them,eh?" Paedophilia doesn't exactly lend itself to openness and trust you know. I'd feel sickened that this friend had visited my house all these times, and possibly secretely harboured some kind of lust towards my kids, but I couldn't really blame them. In light of their suicidal despair-filled state, I wouldn't break off the friendship, though as that would compound their suffering. I'd try to help them, though I'd feel rather troubled being around them if I was a parent at the time.

    As for the pic of my baby, he's not naked you know. Half his body is covered by a gigantic nappy. There are photos of babies in far greater states of nakedness online which people would be more likely to be looking at if they were paedophiles.
    There are literally millions of photos of kids online, I doubt anybody would choose to perve over my perfectly innocent pics in my sig.
    ...and on that note I'm leaving this conversation because it's starting to get a bit disturbing.
    I was joking... probably not the most appropriate subject to joke about, but it was just a fairly innocent joke. Though your response to it was a bit surprising I have to say. Don't feel disturbed or worried or anything :rolleyes:

    (Original post by thegoodthebadandtheTom)
    Pretty much the same as when I found out my one mate was gay... take the piss :cool:
    Not that I would have the nerve to go snooping through my friend's diary.
    Several people have said this rather surprising answer. How do you actually take the piss out of something like paedophilia? It's not really comparable to taking the piss out of homosexuality- that is societally accepted, and objections to it are on a personal level, and it's one of these things you can comfortably joke about. Not so for paedophilia. I mean, how the hell would that go?

    "Come on, Fred, that women you hooked up with yesterday was a right munt."
    "You're only saying that cos she's over the age of consent. If she was 10 years younger you'd change your tune."
    "Haha yeah that's true. Bet she was a stunner before puberty got to her."

    ... I mean, seriously? Is that a dialogue that anyone really wants to have?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Phugoid)
    Definitely this.

    There's nothing more reassuring than when your friends find out something strange about you, and rather than disown you, they turn it into material for ****ging matches.

    Also, I'd help them deal with it if they're having problems.


    I wouldn't think any less of them, morally.
    WHU-WHAT?















    (ah the joys of taking things in totally the wrong meaning :yep:)
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)

    Second of all, they are trying for a baby....I would advise them to stop trying, immediately.
    not so sure that would be necessary. Often those arrested for abusing their own kids aren't convicted paedophiles, it's more abuse for abuse's sack, if that makes sense. Your own flesh and blood is different. A man may have a wife and kids, but be a rapist when he says he's "working late". In the same way a man isn't going to get sexual with his 16-18 yr old daughter, but if another 18 yr old offered him sex with no catches...well he may well say yes.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PinkMobilePhone)

    Well you say you wouldn't break off the friendship, but wouldn't you feel betrayed? They'd have been around your children all this time, not telling you the true nature of how they feel about children. You've allowed them into your house, around your children, and all the while they have been likely having inappropriate thoughts about your kids?
    I'd feel like this person couldn't be trusted, and I'd feel betrayed. I don't know about you, but to me, to be friends with somebody you have to feel as though you can at least trust them.
    hmm but what about a female/male friend and your 16-18 yr old? Lets say you have a 30-40 yr old friend and you have a 17 yr old daughter, as a guy they might have a glance, doesn't mean they'll act on it but you know it is pretty much nature.

    also friends are sometimes, like family, hard to tell things. It's easier to open up to a group of strangers online then people you know personally.

    I mean think about it, you've just explained in an earlier post I've also quotes, you'd pretty much end the friendship even though your friend "is like a sister to you". So...couldn't blame her for not confiding...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I have a friend like this. He hangs around outside a secondary school, taking photos of year 7 girls and putting the self-developed photos up in his room. At first I was a bit creeped out by the nature of his sexual desires, but I did not think it was necessary to intervene as it was virtually harmless. Now he has revealed that for the past year he has been attempting to gain the heart (and probably much more) of a very young girl who lives in a mansion down his road. Again, this was creepy and I have often encouraged him to rethink his plans.

    I think the best thing to do is find out what their interests are like to begin with. This one friend of mine previously sublimated this deviant desire into putting various posters up in his room. To the average person, his posters looked just like famous footballers. However, on closer inspection, one could see that he had purposefully chosen posters of muscular footballers with very tight-fitting shorts. In hindsight, this should have been the point that I cut off my friendship from him.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I wouldn't do anything. Why?
    Because he/she is my best friend.
    Apparenty nowadays real friendship seems not to exist anymore.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by joey11223)
    hmm but what about a female/male friend and your 16-18 yr old? Lets say you have a 30-40 yr old friend and you have a 17 yr old daughter, as a guy they might have a glance, doesn't mean they'll act on it but you know it is pretty much nature.

    also friends are sometimes, like family, hard to tell things. It's easier to open up to a group of strangers online then people you know personally.

    I mean think about it, you've just explained in an earlier post I've also quotes, you'd pretty much end the friendship even though your friend "is like a sister to you". So...couldn't blame her for not confiding...
    Well the question was asking what you would do if you found out, right now.
    Right now I don't have a 30-40 year old friend, and I don't have a 17 year old daughter.
    I have a 26 year old friend, and three young children aged 4 and under.

    I don't know what I'd do in any other situation, only what I'd do right now, in my current situation.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I'd say yay. Now we can share our porn collections.........


    On a serious note, I'd mention it and tell them if they ever wann talk I'm here and wont judge.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    would like him even more.

    Pedos are nice people from the few that ive met.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by innerhollow)
    Here's the situation: Through a stroke of luck or ingenious snooping, you've stumbled upon your best friend's diary.

    In the diary, they reveal that they are in fact sexually attracted to children. They've had these lustful feelings towards young children for a while now, and find them very difficult to deal with. Your friend states adamantly and repeatedly that they would never dream of abusing a child- the thought completlely repulses them, and they would never do such an awful thing. They have no idea how to cope with this unwanted sexuality they are "cursed with" as they put it. They often feel very scared and have recurring nightmares about people finding out they're a paedophile and hunting them down. Your friend expresses feelings that they are an "abomination" and repeatedly shows suicidal intents.

    Assume everything that has been written in the diary by this friend is true. What do you do? How would you react, what actions would you take (i.e. would you tell your friend you'd found out) etc? All this and more in this thread.
    Seriously, how much spare time do you have on your hands to write this. Do be me a favour and get a life.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ben Butler)
    Seriously, how much spare time do you have on your hands to write this. Do be me a favour and get a life.
    Dear Mr. Butler

    My deepest thanks for your very kind and eloquently worded suggestion. I would like to follow up on your statement by asking a few questions.

    With regards to your query as to how much spare time I have on my hands, I would estimate about 4-5 hours on weekdays and 12-13 hours on weekends, though there are significant variances in this depending on the tasks I have to complete on a given day, so it is difficult to produce a meaningful average.

    I am happy to do you a favour, but unfortunately I would request that you elaborate on this request. I would be very interested in "getting a life", but am unsure as to the method for doing this. Could you advise me further on this?

    Yours Sincerely
    ~innerhollow

    P.S. If you would prefer I call you Butler instead of Mr. Butler or any variation thereof, please notify me and I shall make sure to do so in any future correspondance.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cpj1987)
    I wouldn't do anything, as long as I knew they wouldn't act on it.
    You cannot state he will never try. Will you let him a weekend with your children?:cool:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I'd organise an angry mob to torch his house down
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Did this thread remind anyone else of the Twilight series?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I'm somewhat concerned that this thread is in 'Everyday Issues'.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TableChair)
    I'm somewhat concerned that this thread is in 'Everyday Issues'.
    Because it is an everyday occurrence.......if you live in Devon! :eek:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Mr Sparkles)
    Except that two men consensually shagging each other's brains out does harm to no one, and the size of the population willing to have sex with a member of the same sex is pretty large as a percentage.

    Someone attracted to children isn't just going to resist it and live a happy normal life. They'll either crack and molest a child, or they'll be so sick of the torment they'll kill themselves. Either way, neither outcome is desirable - they should be treated so they can stop having such feelings and can get on with their lives.

    The point is there is no desirable outcome for paedophilia - you can't have sex with a child, and this will never be made legal or acceptable, so the only solution is to cure it or repress it.

    Wanting to shag children is abnormal and wrong, just like seriously wanting to murder someone or kill yourself is wrong. Psychiatric help should be sought after in all cases.
    Hang on, so everytime someone is attracted to someone they cant actually get they either rape them or commit suicide?! WOW...
 
 
 
The home of Results and Clearing

1,942

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
How are you feeling about GCSE results day?
Useful resources

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.