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    I've been with my boyfriend for coming up to two years, and we went to the same university together. However since coming to university, we've both noticed I am getting a lot of attention from other guys, which was something that didn't really happen at home. For one, my course is pretty much a 80:20 male to female ratio, so I've had attention from guys on my course from them being flirty, persistantly asking for my number and even beign asked out. I've noticed when I go out, more attention from guys there, sometimes very unpleasant like being touched/kissed, which I hate. What Im trying to say is, I really hate all of this. I'm in a loving relationship, and people know I have a boyfriend, I don't dress tarty or try to gain attention from other guys, quite the opposite really as I just feel uncomfortable with any of that. At first my boyfriend didn't like that I kept getting this, but now it keeps happening and he doesn't seem to take much notice. I told him just now about a guy that kept asking for my number, and then in the club tried to kiss me, but he didn't say much. When I aske him, he said that it happens to often for him to take much notice, like it's not a big deal anymore. I really hate that he thinks this, it worries me that if something more serious did happen, he wouldn't be very bothered I don't want him to be a jealous and controlling boyfriend, just for him to care if something happens, any advice on what I can do?
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    We just cant win, can we?

    You'd moan if he was constantly getting jealous, and you moan if he doesnt get jealous.

    It sounds like your boyfriend is loving and trusting. Enjoy it.
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    (Original post by juicyfruit)
    I've been with my boyfriend for coming up to two years, and we went to the same university together. However since coming to university, we've both noticed I am getting a lot of attention from other guys, which was something that didn't really happen at home. For one, my course is pretty much a 80:20 male to female ratio, so I've had attention from guys on my course from them being flirty, persistantly asking for my number and even beign asked out. I've noticed when I go out, more attention from guys there, sometimes very unpleasant like being touched/kissed, which I hate. What Im trying to say is, I really hate all of this. I'm in a loving relationship, and people know I have a boyfriend, I don't dress tarty or try to gain attention from other guys, quite the opposite really as I just feel uncomfortable with any of that. At first my boyfriend didn't like that I kept getting this, but now it keeps happening and he doesn't seem to take much notice. I told him just now about a guy that kept asking for my number, and then in the club tried to kiss me, but he didn't say much. When I aske him, he said that it happens to often for him to take much notice, like it's not a big deal anymore. I really hate that he thinks this, it worries me that if something more serious did happen, he wouldn't be very bothered I don't want him to be a jealous and controlling boyfriend, just for him to care if something happens, any advice on what I can do?
    Sounds a little like he doesn't give a damn, in clubs I keep my girlfriend more secure than fort knox. If someone bumps into her without an apology or touches her ass he's sure to end up on his.
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    (Original post by Trouser Snake)
    Sounds a little like he doesn't give a damn, in clubs I keep my girlfriend more secure than fort knox. If someone bumps into her without an apology or touches her ass he's sure to end up on his.
    Not even going to state what you sound a little like...
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    I kinda feel sorry for your bf ''it happens so often'', hmm. I guess he doesn't see much of a threat?
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    (Original post by Trouser Snake)
    Sounds a little like he doesn't give a damn, in clubs I keep my girlfriend more secure than fort knox. If someone bumps into her without an apology or touches her ass he's sure to end up on his.
    He does stay close, well he used to stay a lot closer. Now, quite a few of the times guys have tried it on when he hasn't been there, which sort of makes me think it's because he doesn't keep me as close, so it's happening more often?
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    I kinda feel sorry for your bf ''it happens so often'', hmm. I guess he doesn't see much of a threat?
    Yeah I see your point, but at the same time I thought this might bring him closer? On the other hand, because he knows I am devoted to him then he might not see these guys as threats I guess. Although he has said in the past that he takes me for granted sometimes, so I'm hoping that isn't what this is, as if he is taking for granted that I will always go back to him and won't succomb to the offer of another guy :confused:
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    My boyfriend says it sounds likely that he's terrified if he acts jealous that you're going to see him as jealous and controlling and push you into the arms of the other men, and that it's impossible for him to be in a state of 'GRRRR' at them the whole time, but that he does care and would definitely get het up if something worse did happen, he's just got used to this happening so the anger isn't as strong each time anymore.

    In other words, don't worry about it.
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    (Original post by thatwhichiam)
    My boyfriend says it sounds likely that he's terrified if he acts jealous that you're going to see him as jealous and controlling and push you into the arms of the other men, and that it's impossible for him to be in a state of 'GRRRR' at them the whole time, but that he does care and would definitely get het up if something worse did happen, he's just got used to this happening so the anger isn't as strong each time anymore.

    In other words, don't worry about it.
    Ah, thank you that's really good advice. Sort of makes sense I guess, but as said before I don't think I can win either way I should just realise it's not a new thing as it's happened before so he doesn't react as strongly as you said. Just wish it wasn't seen as such a 'normal' thing now, makes me feel uncomfortable as it is. Thank you
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    Don't worry about it.

    If you give a damn then tell these other guys what for.

    My male friend says it seems your boyfriend trusts you or is scared of seeming possesive.
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    (Original post by kestrell)
    Don't worry about it.

    If you give a damn then tell these other guys what for.

    My male friend says it seems your boyfriend trusts you or is scared of seeming possesive.
    My boyfriend said that I should stand my ground a bit more. I just feel so uncomfortable with the idea of others guys other then my boyfriend coming onto me, that I just freeze. I have a real problem when people put me on the spot to speak, like I'll get all tongue tied even if say, someone asked if I wanted still or sparkling water, something like that. I'm getting better at standing my ground though, have told a few guys where to go lately :p:
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    ah i can see where your coming from...

    i have been with my partner for almost two years... and she also gets a lot of attention form other guys yeah its annoying to sit back and watch her flirt back also.... but to be completely honest i am quite jealous.....

    she sometimes feels as if i dont care when i dont get involved and stand my ground but she also doesnt like it when im clingy either and do everything in my power to protect her.... i trust her 100% so theres no reason for me to be worried.....

    He trusts you completely its not that he doesnt care he knows that the other guys dont stand a chance against him if you are in a loving relationship as much as you say you are.....

    leave him be he will always be there when you really need him... i know ill always be there for my partner
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    (Original post by SDB)
    ah i can see where your coming from...

    i have been with my partner for almost two years... and she also gets a lot of attention form other guys yeah its annoying to sit back and watch her flirt back also.... but to be completely honest i am quite jealous.....

    she sometimes feels as if i dont care when i dont get involved and stand my ground but she also doesnt like it when im clingy either and do everything in my power to protect her.... i trust her 100% so theres no reason for me to be worried.....

    He trusts you completely its not that he doesnt care he knows that the other guys dont stand a chance against him if you are in a loving relationship as much as you say you are.....

    leave him be he will always be there when you really need him... i know ill always be there for my partner
    Thank you, it's really good to hear it from a male view.
    I've just texted him saying I was sorry for getting annoyed thinking he didn't care, it's because he trusts me and knows these guys arn't a threat is why he isn't getting annoyed.
    Feel like I've gone from feeling annoyed to actually feeling rather lucky, thanks! :p:
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    (Original post by juicyfruit)
    Thank you, it's really good to hear it from a male view.
    I've just texted him saying I was sorry for getting annoyed thinking he didn't care, it's because he trusts me and knows these guys arn't a threat is why he isn't getting annoyed.
    Feel like I've gone from feeling annoyed to actually feeling rather lucky, thanks! :p:
    your very welcome im glad i was of some use :woo:
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    (Original post by juicyfruit)
    My boyfriend said that I should stand my ground a bit more. I just feel so uncomfortable with the idea of others guys other then my boyfriend coming onto me, that I just freeze. I have a real problem when people put me on the spot to speak, like I'll get all tongue tied even if say, someone asked if I wanted still or sparkling water, something like that. I'm getting better at standing my ground though, have told a few guys where to go lately :p:
    I understand where you're coming from completely.
    It makes me uncomfortable at times.
    Keep with your telling guys where to go, because you aren't a piece of meat, if somebody is trying to start a conversation with you that is fine. But if you are getting guys being out of order just say to them I have a boyfriend and you are making me feel very uncomfortable.
    Boyfriend or no boyfriend if you feel uncomfortable then it is not good hun.
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    (Original post by kestrell)
    I understand where you're coming from completely.
    It makes me uncomfortable at times.
    Keep with your telling guys where to go, because you aren't a piece of meat, if somebody is trying to start a conversation with you that is fine. But if you are getting guys being out of order just say to them I have a boyfriend and you are making me feel very uncomfortable.
    Boyfriend or no boyfriend if you feel uncomfortable then it is not good hun.
    Thank you, but I think it's a working process of me getting more confident. It's working though as I'm getting a lot more confident about telling them to go away, rather then just standing like a lemon! :p:
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    (Original post by Trouser Snake)
    Sounds a little like he doesn't give a damn, in clubs I keep my girlfriend more secure than fort knox. If someone bumps into her without an apology or touches her ass he's sure to end up on his.
    end up on his ass? why what would you do to him?
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    (Original post by juicyfruit)
    Thank you, but I think it's a working process of me getting more confident. It's working though as I'm getting a lot more confident about telling them to go away, rather then just standing like a lemon! :p:
    Good for you
    All the best!!
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    (Original post by kestrell)
    Good for you
    All the best!!
    Thank you!
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    yeah, keep working on the being firm but polite, guys, including your boyfriend will appreciate it...

    it'll take work to perfect, especially as you don't wanna say "bug off" too early or too late...

    too early..you're stuck up
    too late, you might be a tease...

    but make a conscious effort to keep prying guys away and you'll be irieee
 
 
 
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