Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

My multiple personalities watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Only recently have I truly came to terms with this problem because my (now ex) girlfriend pointed it out to me via email when she dumped me after ignoring my texts for three days. I don’t blame her at all though. I still really like her. She just doesn’t... do people all that well. That’s a different problem anyway.
    She said I was a lot more mature and caring around her and I acted differently when I was with my friends. This is true. I agreed with her. But the thing is, I didn’t “act” differently. I was just different. It’s like my entire personality changed when it was just me with her.
    This was about two weeks ago. The last two weeks, it’s like I occasionally phase out and day dream, or step back and watch myself in various stages of my day. I realise how differently I’m acting one minute to the next then I go all quiet and just think about that. My friends sometimes pick up on it and wonder what’s wrong with me.

    I do change. I’m completely different. When I’m in one lesson where my main friends aren’t there I don’t say a word. I’m the quiet, geeky almost autistic type. When I’m with all my friends in a group I’m a regular **** who enjoys banter and joking around like the rest of them. When I’m with a single friend I’m sometimes more thoughtful, and we might talk about girls we like or how our days have been. Or at least something semi-deep. When my ex-girlfriend is nearby I’m quiet and sensitive and I never know what to say, but I’m aching just to talk to her. I don’t act or put on any of these characteristics. They just appear.

    The very worst thing is when I’m home though. I’m so different it actually scares me. I don’t see my brother because he’s a layabout and always asleep on in his room. My parents don’t know the real me at all (and perhaps neither do I). We never have family meals or talk about our days. I just, don’t really communicate with them. Kind of like how I am in my one lesson without my friends but one hundred times worse. It was my mother’s birthday today and I felt awkward even telling her happy birthday and I don’t even know why. Why the hell did I feel weird saying that? What’s wrong with me?

    I suspect people will tell me that everybody acts different around different people. But I doubt many do it as much as me. And I don’t “act” different. My entire personality morphs. I hate it. Out of all my personalities, if I had to choose a permanent one, it would be the quiet sensitive one I was with my girlfriend. But I don’t get to choose.
    • #2
    #2

    This'll sound a bit weird but basically you sound like you have a heightened level of empathy and use the "chameleon effect" (look it up) more than the average person. Basically everyone does it but if you do it so much you aren't even sure of yourself then it's more like a defence mechanism because you have low self-confidence and are scared of rejection.

    I'm no psychologist but I'm like this as well so I did a little bit of research. I think what might help (though I've only just started) is meditation. It's sound a bit new age but it's supposed to ground you and keep you more in touch with your sense of identity.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    People that have multiple personalities don't know they have multiple personalities. So if you actually think you're suffering from multiple personalities - you're not.

    Stop googling.

    You are NORMAL. Sorry to disappoint you.
    • #3
    #3

    Posts #1 and #2, I just read out of interest, but this sounds frighteningly like me..
    I act completely differently with different people, but when I'm on my own sometimes think 'why did I say/do that? that's not me at all'. when I do talk completely honestly, it makes me feel vulnerable, and don't know why :/
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    You actually "act" differently when you are with different people - and everyone does. You feel like you're not acting just because the whole process has happened for such a long time that it became a natural way. And Sorry for disappointing you.
    Some people are less complicated than they think they are.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by andy12691)
    You actually "act" differently when you are with different people - and everyone does. You feel like you're not acting just because the whole process has happened for such a long time that it became a natural way. And Sorry for disappointing you.
    This. I think most people are like it...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Why are people saying, "sorry for disappointing you"? As if I would make an anonymous post to get attention. There's no point. I wouldn't be dissappoined to learn it's normal.

    The title might be a bit dramatic. It's not like I think I'm a potato one minute. There's elements of myself in all my moods in situations obviously. It's just, I've been doing it my entire life and I've only noticed how obvious and how ridiculous it all is the past few weeks because it's been pointed out to me. I've even tried just to be the thoughtful, nice guy that I want to me, but I end up getting distracted and not doing it.

    I thought a few people would say it's normal and that they do it. Obviously I don't want to say, "but my problem is worse than yours" because I don't know that. But, I think I'm so, so different at home especially. Not just a normal amount like some people. I'm sorry to hear it if some people feel the same way as me.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    This is almost exactly what I'm like - different company, different behaviour. :yep:

    With my parents, I become very different; I can only force myself to utter set phrases; I'm only able to speak in a specific tone (that of a five-year-old :sad:); my body language & posture alter; my emotions just die down into a state of almost deadpan indifference; et cetera. I hate it. I loathe it.

    Okay, I'm generally quiet in most other people's views, but at least I communicate / interact, both verbally and visually. I put it mainly down to subconscious mimicry of those around me...and that's a fairly standard psychological trait of human beings, isn't it? Hence 'normal' (don't like using that word, but you know what I mean ).


    :eek: Conciseness has gone for a holiday, it seems. Time to get some sleep. :sleep:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Nah, I'm sorry but that sounds normal, very normal actually. I suspect you underestimate the degree to which other people do it, probably because you don't see other people in that many different situations. Even if you do it a little more than average, there's nothing wrong. What you need to do is stop worrying about it. It really does sound like a normal amount. Look how familiar it sounds to everyone who has responded so far. Also, if you're thinking you have multiple personality disorder, look it up because it's nothing like this.

    Edit - The reason I (and presumably others too) felt the need to say sorry was because you said you suspected people would say this and seemed to be looking for a different answer, so I meant sorry for giving the answer you said you weren't looking for but it really does seem to be the case.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    No, I don't think I have a multiple personality disorder.
    • #2
    #2

    I think a lot of people do it but I think the level varies. I really became unsure about who I was after a while, which is not the same as acting just a bit different.

    I think it depends on your self-esteem levels and your natural personality type (i.e. a bit less commanding). However you can train yourself to be more commanding and in control of your views and ideas by building self-esteem.

    Seriously OP I recommend meditation, a lot of psychologists support it. It can't hurt anyway.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I lot of people feel the way you do. Me for one.

    I think its just a natural way of adapting to society, i wouldnt worry about it
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    ********!
    Thats normal, normal normal (rhetorical series of the same word to emphatise "normal" in a rather interesting way)!

    If this wouldn't be normal I would have over 5 personalities.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, I don't think I have a multiple personality disorder.
    Glad to hear it. I updated my last post by the way, explaining why I was apologising for giving that answer, as you asked, and added a bit more detail to the rest.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Meliae)
    Glad to hear it. I updated my last post by the way, explaining why I was apologising for giving that answer, as you asked, and added a bit more detail to the rest.

    fair enough. I wasn't trying to show off by saying how my personality disorder is worse than everybody elses, though.

    I don't know about everybody else, but I wish I didn't act differently. Is there a way to? Without turning to meditation (as that would ironically be another side to me I don't share with people, wouldn't it?)
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    fair enough. I wasn't trying to show off by saying how my personality disorder is worse than everybody elses, though.

    I don't know about everybody else, but I wish I didn't act differently. Is there a way to? Without turning to meditation (as that would ironically be another side to me I don't share with people, wouldn't it?)
    No it helps clear all your thoughts and gets you down to your more basic self. The more time you spend doing it properly and focusing your mind the more calm you become and you build up strength this way. I haven't explained it very well as I'm quite new to it myself.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    fair enough. I wasn't trying to show off by saying how my personality disorder is worse than everybody elses, though.

    I don't know about everybody else, but I wish I didn't act differently. Is there a way to? Without turning to meditation (as that would ironically be another side to me I don't share with people, wouldn't it?)
    I wasn't suggesting that you were trying to show off. Maybe thinking it's part of a disorder would make you feel like it's treatable or maybe it's just hard to believe other people act so differently in different situations because you don't see it. However, I can't see anything to suggest that you do it to an abnormal level. Maybe like others have suggested, you might be less sure of yourself or have a less strong personality or care more about what other people think so do it more than some people. Still, you're clearly not alone in that.

    I think it's actually a good thing that you behave differently with your friends, family and girlfriend and your behaviour in each situation sounds very typical and appropriate. And yea, people do feel very different, like they have a different personality, when they're with different people, obviously some more so than others. I think changing it would be difficult and probably not beneficial in most situations. I suppose effort and practice could help to change your natural responses if you really wanted. You could find yourself no longer fitting in with your friends though.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Meliae)
    I wasn't suggesting that you were trying to show off. Maybe thinking it's part of a disorder would make you feel like it's treatable or maybe it's just hard to believe other people act so differently in different situations because you don't see it. However, I can't see anything to suggest that you do it to an abnormal level. Maybe like others have suggested, you might be less sure of yourself or have a less strong personality or care more about what other people think so do it more than some people. Still, you're clearly not alone in that.

    I think it's actually a good thing that you behave differently with your friends, family and girlfriend and your behaviour in each situation sounds very typical and appropriate. And yea, people do feel very different, like they have a different personality, when they're with different people, obviously some more so than others. I think changing it would be difficult and probably not beneficial in most situations. I suppose effort and practice could help to change your natural responses if you really wanted. You could find yourself no longer fitting in with your friends though.

    Makes me feel a bit annoyed if that was the reason I was dumped then, I suppose. I don't think the way I act around my family is beneficial to me or them in any way at all. It's definitely not a way I behave so I fit it. I don't know why I do it. Maybe on some level I don't trust them or something. I don't know. I know my friends sometimes behave differently as well because I'm always hearing from my friend's girlfriend what he's like. It's weird why people do it.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 24, 2010
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.