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    • Thread Starter

    Hey Guys

    I'm having difficulty in comprehending my ex's behaviour - without going into things into too much detail, she's not particularly confident, I was her first true love, she asked me to move away with her after graduation, etc - we dated for a year before she became withdrawn and whilst we had no problems when together, I never saw her or pressured her and then we split. To say it was weird was an understatement.

    No other guy was involved or has been (at least until Aug last year when I cut contact again).

    Anyhow, in summary:

    > Broke up April 2008
    > She moved away without saying goodbye - just left/ran away
    > Xmas 2008 - she started texting me, saying we should meet up - this took 4 months in reality.
    > Lots more texts - Valentines day etc.
    > April 2009 - met up, she said it was her fault we split not mine, she made things hard for herself, she missed us, we got it on and ended up in bed together - I assumed for another go.
    > Lots more texts, but very little substance
    > July 2009 - met up - exactly the same as above - this time I asked her if we were sorted - she said yes
    > Less texts than before, but still some, and again no substance.
    > Called her to address, she agreed we needed to see each other more etc - make a go of it (she did nothing)
    > Went camping with her and mates - she was cold towards me, really odd particularly after our discussion - her mates were suprised as they thought we were getting back together that weekend.
    > Haven't had contact with her since then (Aug 2009) as I thought ...**** this!

    But here's the main kicker & probably the most upsetting and selfish thing she's ever done...

    > My mother has had terminal cancer for the past 2 years - ex knew her and my mother sadly passed 2 days ago. Whilst she showed minimal to zero compassion over all this time, I would have at the very least expected a token gesture ...if not some honesty for once and an emotional response - but no, nothing at all - not even a text.

    > Even weirder ...her best mate and housemate text me wishing me and my family well and that she was thinking about me. So if she knows, so does the ex - to my mind this confirms she's making a conscious decision not to say anthing.


    Can somebody try and put a handle on what she's doing as its incomprehensible to me, that she could not bring herself to offer her best wishes!? My mate thinks she's taking the easy option ...again and avoiding contacting me as it would mean facing up to her weird behaviour, her emotions and the position she's managed to make for herself.

    I have never given her a hard time (although I would probably be justified in doing so) ...maybe the reason we split in the first place - being too nice!


    • Thread Starter

    anyone ???

    Well hmmmmm this is bit difficult- I feel like either your not saying something or you dont know something. Youve but in a timeline which makes me think the second option. Firstly Im so to speek sorry about your mum passing away- i dont like that phrasing but Its sad to hear that she, you and your family have been through that and I cant imagine how difficult that must have been. So I can imagine why you cant understand whys he couldnt find a bit compassion to show you. I dont know why shes been like this- I am wondering did you treat her a bit bad at all and wonder why she was taking it- even little things. This guy always used to keep me waiting and I thought--- im going to never see him again, each time Id get colder and colder to him. Until eventually i stopped. I felt like i lost my self worth as everyone else said i should tell him to go. Im just wondering if something similar happened thats eaten at her and shes decided enough with you.

    But as for why she never said about your mum - i dont know. Am just wondering- why did you like her in the first place? Sounds like shes got little substance- and you two dont connect very well.
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