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I know I shouldn't like her... watch

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    I know these threads are very common but oh well.

    Right here is my explanation, there is a girl I have liked for a pretty long time. We get on well and have many similar interests and without sounding like I am bigging myself up we are quite close and have been for a long time now and see each other on a regular basis. She turned me down about a year and a half ago when I asked her out My problem is that I still have dwindling feelings for her that seem to not want to go away, I know I shouldn't like her and I do repress and hide my feelings in order to keep our successful friendship going. But that is easier said than done, sometimes when I'm on my own I do think about how it 'could' have been if everything had worked out... The last thing I want is anything to get in the way of our friendship again. What I would like to ask all you lovely people is have you got any tips on how I can 'move on for good'? Because in an ideal world I would try again, but I think it is highly unlikely that it would work out to be honest.
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    Hmmmm......this is a tricky one.

    Does your attraction to her, affect you finding someone else? For example-no girl is good enough, as they are not 'her'.

    If your wanting to be with her does effect your chances of moving on, then you will have to distance yourself from her. It may not be what you want, but if she has made it clear that nothing is going to happen and you are still struggling to move on, then you need to back away. I know it isn't easy, especially if you consider them as a close and special friend, but it has to be done!!

    However, if it isn't effecting your chances with other girls and you feel that you can have her just as a friend that you deeply care for, then keep it that way....although some may disagree...

    I've been in a similar position and I could have quite happily kept them as a close friend, as I was happy to except his chosen path. But it seems that you are still holding onto hope, and hope can be a KILLER!!!!
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    (Original post by playlislay)
    Hmmmm......this is a tricky one.

    Does your attraction to her, affect you finding someone else? For example-no girl is good enough, as they are not 'her'.

    If your wanting to be with her does effect your chances of moving on, then you will have to distance yourself from her. It may not be what you want, but if she has made it clear that nothing is going to happen and you are still struggling to move on, then you need to back away. I know it isn't easy, especially if you consider them as a close and special friend, but it has to be done!!

    However, if it isn't effecting your chances with other girls and you feel that you can have her just as a friend that you deeply care for, then keep it that way....although some may disagree...

    I've been in a similar position and I could have quite happily kept them as a close friend, as I was happy to except his chosen path. But it seems that you are still holding onto hope, and hope can be a KILLER!!!!
    I suppose to a certain degree it is the fact that a lot of girls just aren't 'her', she's just such an amazing person.

    I see what your saying but I don't want to really distance myself from her, even after me asking her out and the following 'spanner in the works' for a while afterwards we are still really good friends, and if anything I believe we came out stronger for it as we are a lot more open with each other now days.

    I think the main problem is that I live in a small town and still doing A Levels so to be honest there is no other girl in the area that I am interested in.

    I suppose you could say my mind is telling me to move on but my heart is still clinging on to hope.
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    #2

    Perhaps you should act with a bit more nonchalance - pretend you're not interested in her.

    If all else fails then the longing will be cured with time i'm sure.
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    (Original post by playlislay)
    However, if it isn't effecting your chances with other girls and you feel that you can have her just as a friend that you deeply care for, then keep it that way....although some may disagree...
    I can do that, I think after time and I meet another girl it will be fine. Its just this moment in time that is a bit mehh... I hate having those moments when I think what 'could' have happened...

    Your right hope can be a *****!
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    Yeah but c'mon dude, you asked her out A YEAR AND A HALF AGO!!! That is a bloody long time of holding onto hope if you ask me........:O(

    I think that kind of proves that 'time' will not sort this out... you need to forget about what 'could' of happened. The main point here is that it didn't happen. Sorry Mr, but if she wanted you, should would have let you know by now. Do what is best for you and move on. x
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    (Original post by playlislay)
    Yeah but c'mon dude, you asked her out A YEAR AND A HALF AGO!!! That is a bloody long time of holding onto hope if you ask me........:O(

    I think that kind of proves that 'time' will not sort this out... you need to forget about what 'could' of happened. The main point here is that it didn't happen. Sorry Mr, but if she wanted you, should would have let you know by now. Do what is best for you and move on. x
    :sadnod:
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    (Original post by playlislay)
    Yeah but c'mon dude, you asked her out A YEAR AND A HALF AGO!!! That is a bloody long time of holding onto hope if you ask me........:O(

    I think that kind of proves that 'time' will not sort this out... you need to forget about what 'could' of happened. The main point here is that it didn't happen. Sorry Mr, but if she wanted you, should would have let you know by now. Do what is best for you and move on. x
    Its brutally honest but I think its what I needed I'm sorry if I wasted your time by being stupid, I hate to admit it but you are right. Now I am going to focus on move away from it all, it doesn't mean I can't be friends though. I am going to work on it without drifting too far as I think that is my best option, how will it look if I just completely move away even though we are good friends? Its not an option for me.

    Thank you for being brutally honest, sometimes its what people need :o:
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    ask her if she still feels the same way as she did when you asked her out a year and a half ago.

    if she does, move on, you can still be friends. and you'll meet loads of new girls when you go to uni.
 
 
 
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