Anon or delete please.
Well basically i am at uni and i feel as if i have become trapped into a clique that i want to get out of but don't know how. I'm great friends with these people but it seems all the societies i go to, they insist on coming too. We're all on the exact same course and all have to do the same modules this year and next (it's joint Honours so all our credits are made up of compulsory modules from the different subjects) and they're the people i'm living with next year.
I feel like i can't go out and meet new people without them coming along, and then they get really weird around new people and just don't talk to them much. It really gets to me that i seem to have severely limited who i meet already in uni and want to find a nice way of saying i want to spend less time with my friends and meet new people. I know it would seem really off if i just stopped sitting with them in lectures and went to sit next to other people, but it's really what i feel like doing as i don't know anyone else on my courses except these few friends and it's starting to get to me.
Any ideas guys?
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Feel as if my friends are stopping me from meeting new people watch
- Thread Starter
- 24-01-2010 14:49
- 24-01-2010 18:04
I think it's a good thing you noticed this now. Rather than you getting further through uni and getting bored of them.
Why don't you go to societies that they don't go to on the sly and then not tell them about it? You can always play the game of, "Sorry I would have asked you along but you weren't around"
If they insist on coming with you to something, have just one friend with you, then you can approach one or two extra people and try and integrate them with the person you brought. That way you are creating your own little group. If your friend acts weird and doesn't want to hang out with them, don't be afraid to hang out with them by yourself as you've introduced them to your friend, so therefore you aren't playing backhanded tricks.
Always remember that you shouldn't dump your friends, but use them in this way to make other friends. Also you can do a gradual transition from friend group to friend group.
- Thread Starter
- 24-01-2010 18:39
Thanks for the advice, i will give it a go as i start back with the second semester properly tomorrow. I don't want to seem sly as they are nice people but they just aren't as sociable as i thought they were when i first met them.
I've tried taking one of them with me to a society and it was quite awkward as i was being sociable and she was just sort of standing around, despite me introducing us both to whoever i met.
- 25-01-2010 00:53
Hmmm, I know exactly how you feel, I'm pretty much in the same situation. My friend told me to just join societies and slowly get closer to other people. It's hard though, I know what you mean. My friends always expect me to do things with them, and if I were to say I was going to do something or go somewhere with other people, they'd act like that's ridiculous, as if I was being too keen or something.