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Chivalry and gentlemanliness seem to be irrelavant nowadays... opinions? watch

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    No. Absolutly not.
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    No. Absolutly not.
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    As others have said, chivalry is not dead, however how it is taken by those around you is very different depending on the people. And of course it is not the only personality factor someone posesses, the others make a huge difference to the impact chivalry has. for instance, "Bagration" who posted above, is clearly a complete twerp. On the matter of feminism vs chivalry, it doesn't need to be that way, in all honesty there are so few guys like that around that they can apply the same principles to both male and female friends, carrying bags, holding doors open, offering jackets, etc. that way the feminists are happy, and the guy in question can prove that he is not just trying to get into a girl's undergarments. The only problem this presents is if you are surrounded by the wrong sort of people, they all think you're just wierd. But in books weird is often a good thing anyway, the people who are "normal" are often fools.
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    (Original post by Helenia)
    I've never understood the walking on the outside of pavement thing though - what's that all about?
    Something to do with a) the man getting hit if a car was to have an accident or b) the man is splashed by oncoming cars in wet weather.
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    Something to do with a) the man getting hit if a car was to have an accident or b) the man is splashed by oncoming cars in wet weather.
    I see. I have previously heard of the idea (on TSR) that men should walk on the road side, but I can honestly say it's something that never occurs to me in day-to-day life. But then as I'm usually a)on my own and b)going to work in a less nice area of London, I'm probably more worried about being stabbed than getting a bit splashed. :o:
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    (Original post by Rick-Raith)
    I feel that there has been a major loss amongst all the guys in the world of the qualities of chivalry and being gentlemanly...

    And even if there are guys who are chivalrous or gentlemanly it seems more of a detriment than an actual bonus quality.

    What is up with this and what is the deal?
    You mean to see you have observed this change of manly attributes in your lifetime or are you comparing this to how Charles Dickens and Jane Austen portrayed some men in their novels?

    or has he just not called you back?
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    (Original post by skipp)
    I think there's a huge difference between being patronising or a complete wet blanket and being gentlemanly..if the OP's finding that he's having issues it probably because he's falling into one of these two categories. There's also a lot of people that try too hard to act one way or another, I've seen a lot of people try far too hard (both men and women) to be kind, or tough or in this case chivalrous and whatever they're trying to be it just comes of as being really insincere and slimy...surely everyone understands good manners and the fact that you have them shouldn't be something to show off about :rolleyes:
    I don't particularly have a problem, but, as many women on here have said they do feel that if they were with a gentleman they would feel more in a sense... Its just i tend to open doors, hold them open etc, so like when going up to a car with a girlfriend or even just a friend (girls obviously though), i tend to open the door for them, but they think i am opening it for myself so they change to a different door, and when I get out the car i'd actually love to be able to open and escort the woman out of the car, though very few women wait for the guy, even just to check if he is going to or not, and when offering my hand, i feel like a retard considering few women actually take my hand etc
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    (Original post by mircat10)
    You mean to see you have observed this change of manly attributes in your lifetime or are you comparing this to how Charles Dickens and Jane Austen portrayed some men in their novels?

    or has he just not called you back?
    well more of an observation between the different generations, the older generations tend to be more gentlemanly and polite towards women, in my opinion. And I have also observed that many of the older generation women also seem to appreciate it a lot more than the current generation
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    Chivalry and gentlemanliness seem to be irrelavant nowadays... opinions?

    My Opinion !?

    ******* !! I opened a door for a Girl in the Library earlier today and she fudgin Loved it !!
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    (Original post by bikipip)
    I blame 4chan.
    Haha Good Girl !!

    :rofl:
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    Ah but my dear sirs and ladies, wait, scrap that first bit, as the title says, the 'gentleman' attitude is pretty much dead... Not like it was there to begin with, 'twas more supremacism followed by sympathy which led to helping women out with stuff. Anyway, I still try to be a gentleman when I'm given the chance, but that's just it I'm afraid, only when given the chance, there isn't much demand for that attitude anymore. It's not like girls respond to me being nice better than they do an idiot who calls them b****es because he can. Too many stupid girls quivering for idiots who get themselves in trouble (bad boys in other words). Those girls deserve all the crap they get along with that attitude!

    There isn't demand for top hats anymore either D:
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    Im a gentleman, but i have to agree that it is not seen as a good or attractive trait in my experience, often being mistaken for weakness.
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    (Original post by Rick-Raith)
    I don't particularly have a problem, but, as many women on here have said they do feel that if they were with a gentleman they would feel more in a sense... Its just i tend to open doors, hold them open etc, so like when going up to a car with a girlfriend or even just a friend (girls obviously though), i tend to open the door for them, but they think i am opening it for myself so they change to a different door, and when I get out the car i'd actually love to be able to open and escort the woman out of the car, though very few women wait for the guy, even just to check if he is going to or not, and when offering my hand, i feel like a retard considering few women actually take my hand etc
    Don't ever lose that. I may be one of the very few women out there like it, but I would hate to see basic manners and gentlemanlike behaviour disappear forever.

    Maybe I do read too much Jane Austen but even so, there are a few of us out there that appreciate being treated well. I can't stand girls these days falling drunk out of cabs showing their crotches to the world while the blokes take a piss in a bush. I reckon I was born in the wrong era :yep: lol.
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    (Original post by Rick-Raith)
    I don't particularly have a problem, but, as many women on here have said they do feel that if they were with a gentleman they would feel more in a sense... Its just i tend to open doors, hold them open etc, so like when going up to a car with a girlfriend or even just a friend (girls obviously though), i tend to open the door for them, but they think i am opening it for myself so they change to a different door, and when I get out the car i'd actually love to be able to open and escort the woman out of the car, though very few women wait for the guy, even just to check if he is going to or not, and when offering my hand, i feel like a retard considering few women actually take my hand etc
    It's nice to make the effort, but when it comes to things like car doors, a lot of girls just won't realise what you're doing - they've been getting out of cars by themselves for years.

    In my relationship, the car is mine, so I tend to do most of the driving and have the keys, thus losing out on any door-opening priveleges that might be offered.
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    I always feel outraged (internally that is... I don't openly express it) when a guy will take the last seat on the tube and not offer it to me
    I'd rather get paid 50p less an hour and get treated nicely damn it
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    (Original post by Helenia)
    I've never understood the walking on the outside of pavement thing though - what's that all about?
    My granddad used to tell it was because decades ago, the streets were all littered and stuff, and generally a bit nasty, so the woman stood further from the road to be 'protected' as such.
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    (Original post by Bagration)
    Blame women, not men, for this. I don't really understand feminism. You could have men being nice and gentlemanly to you all the time, you'd not have to work, and still retain a whole ton of advantages, what's the point? Why do you want to be equal when being inferior would be so much better?

    Relationships can't be vertical... there has to be equality, so that respect and admiration comes from both ways. Wouldn't you want an intelligent girl you could share your thoughts with and be understood?


    Of course... that doesn't mean men can't be good mannered and treat women nicely.
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    Well...

    I'm conflicted. Generally I prescribe to feminism....so thus being treated like a "lil lady" at times is really quite patronising.

    However, part of my belief system is the very flawed old liner of "equals but different" - and in particularly this applies to the natural "vulnerability" of women in a male society...

    for instance:

    No matter how much I believe it is wrong that it should be the case I am far more likely to be attacked as a single female walking alone at night that a male.

    Hence I do appreciate guys walking to meet me/walking me home etc.

    I also quite like people offering to help me when I'm genuinely struggling with something - e.g. bags/coats etc but this is more friends in general - in fact women tend to do it more than men for each other when shopping.

    I also appreciate the kindly strong fellows who help me lug my suitcases off and on trains without resulting in me falling through (the sometimes quite large) gap because of how weak I am physically.

    Chivalry isn't dead. But I wouldn't call it chivalry really - I'd just call it kindness.
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    Also can I just point out before anyone even bothers attempting to argue with anti-feminist/misogynistic responses that will more than likely appear in this thread...

    There is no real point on TSR, unless you enjoy banging your head against walls....
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    Chivalry and gentlemanliness seem to be irrelavant nowadays... opinions?

    My Opinion !?

    NONSENSE !! I opened a door for a Girl in the Library earlier today and she fudgin Loved it !!
 
 
 
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