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My friend only wants to talk to me online? watch

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    I'm a bit annoyed atm. I'm friends with this girl who used to get bullied a lot at school, but I always stood up for her, this was a couple of years ago though she went on to find a better friendship group with people who were less *****y about her behind her back. She wasn't doing very well at school either and I helped her out. In fact I doubt she'd be at university if it wasn't for me because I helped her pick her subjects. However, recently when I've suggested we meet out to go on a night out or even the cinema she is always 'busy' or just kind of ignores it. So she only talks to me on msn. I feel used.
    What would you do? :/
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    Ask her for a cam to cam :ninja:

    But seriously, if she keeps making excuses like that drop it and move on.
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    If I were you, I would ask her on msn why she's acting the way she is. If you've been that good to her, the least you deserve is the truth. She wouldn't be where she is now if it wasn't for you, she should just be straight with you.
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    (Original post by devski)
    If I were you, I would ask her on msn why she's acting the way she is. If you've been that good to her, the least you deserve is the truth. She wouldn't be where she is now if it wasn't for you, she should just be straight with you.
    ^ This :yep:
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    I know. It's just annoying she used to want to go out all the time but know shes just been a selfish **** :P
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    Well, I have had a similar situation. Not AS bad, but a similar one, and I also knew friends that had similar situations.

    The problem is, that girls are VERY powerful. They have a great hold on many guys, one way or another. Either they guilt you into doing things, ask you nicely into doing things, giving you hope of being liked by them (in the case of you liking her) or whatever other way.

    Now, what you need to do is: stop. Just stop. You've been helping her so much throughout. SHE is the one that is benefiting from your relationship. And if you just stop being so "nice" (excuse me for the term, I just hate it when it is applied to guys due to the overstatement that guys have to be jerks to get girls). She will come to you herself when she needs something. THEN ask her: "Remember that time I asked you out? Why didn't you accept." or whatever it is you're wondering about.

    My guess is you're probably not going to go anywhere, so I'd just recommend you to just move on. I also acknowledge that it may not be so easy to leave a friend, especially one that you've helped so much and possibly are fond of.

    Good luck.

    Oh yeah, there's this one quote I really wanted to mention: "When you change, the things they do to manipulate you stop working."

    This saved me from any situation in which I was even remotely used. Change, and her attitude towards you would change.
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    Maybe she isn't so keen on talking face to face with people. It may be a confidence issue.
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    Does she go out a lot with her other new friends? You can hardly call someone selfish for not wanting to go out! `
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    (Original post by Compos_Mentis)
    Well, I have had a similar situation. Not AS bad, but a similar one, and I also knew friends that had similar situations.

    The problem is, that girls are VERY powerful. They have a great hold on many guys, one way or another. Either they guilt you into doing things, ask you nicely into doing things, giving you hope of being liked by them (in the case of you liking her) or whatever other way.

    Now, what you need to do is: stop. Just stop. You've been helping her so much throughout. SHE is the one that is benefiting from your relationship. And if you just stop being so "nice" (excuse me for the term, I just hate it when it is applied to guys due to the overstatement that guys have to be jerks to get girls). She will come to you herself when she needs something. THEN ask her: "Remember that time I asked you out? Why didn't you accept." or whatever it is you're wondering about.

    My guess is you're probably not going to go anywhere, so I'd just recommend you to just move on. I also acknowledge that it may not be so easy to leave a friend, especially one that you've helped so much and possibly are fond of.

    Good luck.

    Oh yeah, there's this one quote I really wanted to mention: "When you change, the things they do to manipulate you stop working."

    This saved me from any situation in which I was even remotely used. Change, and her attitude towards you would change.
    note: the OP is a girl and the friend is a girl.

    i think you should just ask her politely OP
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    (Original post by EskimoJo)
    Does she go out a lot with her other new friends? You can hardly call someone selfish for not wanting to go out! `
    Nope, she doesn't. She's made a couple of friends at uni but her life hasn't changed that much from what I can tell.
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    Bad breath?
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    She is probably contemplating it but is a bit nervous !!
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    Maybe she actually is busy.
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    (Original post by Indieboohoo)
    Maybe she actually is busy.
    She's not. And if it's bad breath my other friends don't seem to notice it :P
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    (Original post by Compos_Mentis)
    Well, I have had a similar situation. Not AS bad, but a similar one, and I also knew friends that had similar situations.

    The problem is, that girls are VERY powerful. They have a great hold on many guys, one way or another. Either they guilt you into doing things, ask you nicely into doing things, giving you hope of being liked by them (in the case of you liking her) or whatever other way.

    Now, what you need to do is: stop. Just stop. You've been helping her so much throughout. SHE is the one that is benefiting from your relationship. And if you just stop being so "nice" (excuse me for the term, I just hate it when it is applied to guys due to the overstatement that guys have to be jerks to get girls). She will come to you herself when she needs something. THEN ask her: "Remember that time I asked you out? Why didn't you accept." or whatever it is you're wondering about.

    My guess is you're probably not going to go anywhere, so I'd just recommend you to just move on. I also acknowledge that it may not be so easy to leave a friend, especially one that you've helped so much and possibly are fond of.

    Good luck.

    Oh yeah, there's this one quote I really wanted to mention: "When you change, the things they do to manipulate you stop working."

    This saved me from any situation in which I was even remotely used. Change, and her attitude towards you would change.
    Errmm... I'm a girl. I appreciate the words of wisdom though. She also only talks about herself. Whatever is happening in my life is insignificant to her. I think its time to give up.
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    I apologize for being bias.

    A slight change is necessary to make it appropriate for you specifically, but the thinking behind the process is the same whether you are a girl or a guy. I mean, everyone "uses" people in a similar basic manner.

    Good luck with dealing with your situation!
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    Maybe she simply doesn't like spending time with you. Sorry.
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    Chill out, give it a while, ask he what's up/wrong...cos there may be something wrong and then you might feel like an ****. But also OP, you can only pursue the friendship for so long. as you said, give up soon tbh. if they're not appreciative of your effort, then simply don't bother anymore.
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    I'm a bit annoyed atm. I'm friends with this girl who used to get bullied a lot at school, but I always stood up for her, this was a couple of years ago though she went on to find a better friendship group with people who were less *****y about her behind her back. She wasn't doing very well at school either and I helped her out. In fact I doubt she'd be at university if it wasn't for me because I helped her pick her subjects. However, recently when I've suggested we meet out to go on a night out or even the cinema she is always 'busy' or just kind of ignores it. So she only talks to me on msn. I feel used.
    What would you do? :/
    Maybe the poor girl is shy and feels she can only talk to you on msn. Online communication is much easier

    Does she take ages to respond on msn and are her responses normally brief? If so, she's probably moved onto a better life without you. Ignore her and just feel glad that you have improved someones quality of life.

    However, if not, she might need more gentle encouragement. Why don't you ask her what she's doing at the weekend and, if she's out and about, suggest you meet for a quick coffee. Be persistant and start small
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    (Original post by Absinth)
    Maybe she simply doesn't like spending time with you. Sorry.
    Yeah, its starting to look that way anyway! Oh well she isn't really in my' group' of friends really anyway. If she doesn't like me why does she talk to mr online all the time? Its usually her that starts the conversation. :/
 
 
 
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