Please keep anon, I know people on here.
I've been seeing this guy for the past few weeks. We got together just before Christmas and when we came back to uni things started going somewhere. It all went pretty quick, we were coupley from the start even though we weren't in a relationship. It just felt like one. We didn't talk about it though, we just went along with it all. Until the other night when we somehow started talking about it while drunk. We decided to leave it ad talk about it sober, and when we did things started spilling out. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship because he didn't want to hurt me, but I was worth more to him than just sex, so he didn't want anything casual. Neither of us wanted to end what we had but he was couldn't see where it would go from there without there being a relationship. He said he was freaking out about how fast things had gone, which I agreed with but we were both enjoying ourselves. We talked for hours about it, until he started saying he felt like it should end, but never directly said it. In the end, I told him it sounded like he'd already made his mind up and I asked him to leave.
I feel so rubbish now, there's stuff I wish I'd said that I'm only just thinking of now but its too late. If we hadn't started talking about it things would've been ok, or we could've slowed things down or started again. Now I have no idea what to do. I'm giving him space and not getting in contact with him, his friend said he probably just needs time to sort his head out. But it all seemed pretty final.
Thing is, I'm not ready to let it go. We both said there was definitely something there, I really think we could give it a go again, from the beginning and take it slow. I just don't know whether I should say this to him, or just leave it and move on.
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It was going so well watch
- Thread Starter
- 25-01-2010 00:40
- 25-01-2010 00:50
What've you got to lose by saying it to him? Worst case you push him further away, but then you've got some finality about the whole thing and can move on with less regrets, more confidence and perhaps most importantly closure.
- 25-01-2010 00:51
Hmm...i'd say give it a while and then maybe you could have a conversation about it when you are both less confused. Find out whether he thinks your relationship could continue if you both took things slower. Unfortunately there isn't much point in the relationship if he thinks it really is time to end things
- 25-01-2010 00:52
This probably isn't what you want to hear at all, but IMO if you want different things it's better to find out and part ways sooner rather than later. It sounds like you were starting to become very emotionally attatched, and if he doesn't want a relationship, then that sounds like a recipe for getting hurt to me.
That said, obviously it's easier said than done to let someone go when you really like them, so maybe give him some time and space and see how he feels after a while. But in the mean time, focus on other things and don't get too wrapped up in it
- Thread Starter
- 25-01-2010 01:13
The thing is, he didn't want things to come to an end as much as me, he just thought it was the right thing to do. And the time I thought it would be best, but now I regret that. I'm willing to risk things going wrong, at least then we'd know. I just don't know whether I should say this to him.
- 25-01-2010 01:36
Maybe leave it a day or two? You won't know unless you try.
- 25-01-2010 03:23
Forgive me if I sound a tad harsh, but which one of you is the girl here? Sounds like you're better off without the hassle TBH and no offense to you, but he is probably gay and hasn't come out yet.