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Can you really just be close friends with the opposite sex? Watch

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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    No I think its a load of rubbish. Every male friend I have has either got a crush on me or used to have a crush on me. And every female friend my boyfriend has, he has either slept with or fancied at some point.
    +1. At last. 20-something posts in and the waffle is disturbed. Amazing how so many girls have responded, saying 'I have xxx male friend but I don't fancy him' (whats that about leading us on?) yet in another thread they would say 'Help! I'm in love with best friend but don't know how to tell him!'

    There is no such thing as male-females just being friends.

    When do you ever see a REALLY ugly girl with a really fit guy? NEVER.

    When do you see a REALLY fit girl with a really ugly guy? Sometimes (and we all think wtf is he doing with her).

    Because the guys will only tend to hang around with girls they fancy or have an appreciation for (however small). Sorry girls, not many guys will tag onto you for 'the personality, its about whats inside' or 'just friends'. It just doesn't happen.

    If everyone stripped down to EXACTLY why they were friends with their male/female companions, you'll have your answer.
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    (Original post by CrookedLegs)
    modest
    Besides which she is really hot. No point her denying it.
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    I don't know. All I can say is, I've never had a close, one on one friendship with a guy that didn't end up with things 'escalating'. I have some guy mates that I see sometimes in group situations, but that's it.
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    Yes definitely. One of my best friends is a very very attractive lesbian who I don't and have never fancied.
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    i remember reading a quote somewhere that said something along the lines of men and women can only be friends if they are slightly repulsed by one another.

    i don't think it's really about looks though I had a male best friend for much of my school life, he was however over whole head shorter than me so i guess that was the "repulsive" part.

    but then again i can't really say much, because there must have been "something there" since he started to ignore me when i got a boyfriend :\ saying that he felt like my boyfriend was stealing his best friend from him
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    (Original post by sean kefw)
    +1. At last. 20-something posts in and the waffle is disturbed. Amazing how so many girls have responded, saying 'I have xxx male friend but I don't fancy him' (whats that about leading us on?) yet in another thread they would say 'Help! I'm in love with best friend but don't know how to tell him!'

    There is no such thing as male-females just being friends.

    When do you ever see a REALLY ugly girl with a really fit guy? NEVER.

    When do you see a REALLY fit girl with a really ugly guy? Sometimes (and we all think wtf is he doing with her).

    Because the guys will only tend to hang around with girls they fancy or have an appreciation for (however small). Sorry girls, not many guys will tag onto you for 'the personality, its about whats inside' or 'just friends'. It just doesn't happen.

    If everyone stripped down to EXACTLY why they were friends with their male/female companions, you'll have your answer.
    Hmmm, I think this is a bit simplistic though. I also agree that essentially both men and women will be friends with people they find attractive usually physically attractive but also if they have good charisma. I'm pretty sure girls are no less 'shallow' in this regard. Thus inevitably they could end up falling for each other. BUT I think the friends who don't deny each other's sex and sort of harmlessly flirt can have strong friendships. It may not be purely platonic but it's pretty far from love as well and quite a lot of fun.
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    There was nothing arrogant about my post at all. It implied that men and women could never be "just friends".
    Sorry but there is no way that saying 'every male friend I have has either had or has a crush on me' is not arrogant.

    Men and women can be just friends, I've got girl friends that I've never seriously considered sleeping with. At the same time there are girls that the situation is different; it all changes from circumstances, I don't think you can say that men and women could never be 'just friends'.
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    (Original post by samba)
    you're not exactly hot or humble though :/
    Are you on crack?
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    Yeah its possible

    Being close, talking for hours on end, cuddling holding hands...I've done this with female friends and it meant nothing more than friendship. That said I know how jealous I would get if my gf behaved that way with guys.

    It is hard to tell the difference between close friendship and attraction- but that doesnt mean you cant be close- as long as your aware of the feelings of your friends significant other.
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    (Original post by Toaster Leavings)
    Besides which she is really hot. No point her denying it.
    She is pretty attractive I have to admit, still, I'm not a fan of arrogance.
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    (Original post by CrookedLegs)
    Sorry but there is no way that saying 'every male friend I have has either had or has a crush on me' is not arrogant.

    Men and women can be just friends, I've got girl friends that I've never seriously considered sleeping with. At the same time there are girls that the situation is different; it all changes from circumstances, I don't think you can say that men and women could never be 'just friends'.
    Its not arrogant at all. I was stating my own personal experience. That doesnt translate as "I think I'm such a stunner" :rolleyes: I also used my boyfriend's example, who's had a romantic/physical history with a lot of his female friends. Or is there a particular way you'd like me to rephrase my entire comment so you like it? How else could I say it to make you happy?
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    (Original post by samba)
    Hmm, really REALLY not my type! Though attitude like hers is at least a -30% attractiveness debuff.
    Attitude? Saying that male friends have had feelings for her in the past, thus somewhat ******** on the whole concept of men and women being "just good friends" is an attitude?

    You men are strange. Not everyone was gonna reply with "Oh yeah, I have sooooo many friends of the opposite sex and not one wants to shag me".

    Anyone here who doesnt admit to fancying a male/female friend or having one fancy them is, to be quite honest, a fibber.
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    Its not arrogant at all. I was stating my own personal experience. That doesnt translate as "I think I'm such a stunner" :rolleyes: I also used my boyfriend's example, who's had a romantic/physical history with a lot of his female friends. Or is there a particular way you'd like me to rephrase my entire comment so you like it? How else could I say it to make you happy?
    I didn't say it translates at that but suggesting that EVERY male friend you have has had a crush on is a sign of arrogance - have they all told you that?

    Yes please, could you say, 'I've had experiences of some of my friends liking me so I'm not sure about the idea of being able to be just friends'? I'd really appreciate that. Thanks.
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    I have plenty of male friends, I've been looking for a flat to live in with one of them who I consider to be one of my best friends. My boyfriend's best friend is a girl. Its perfectly possible to be best friends with someone of the opposite sex and have no sexual or romatic attraction to them. It does sound like you are getting feelings for this friend of yours though.
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    My closest friend over the last five years has been male. We've been practically as close as two people can get. The reason we haven't ever done anything is that he has a fiancee. She's totally fine with it and I know she always comes first with him.
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    (Original post by CrookedLegs)
    I didn't say it translates at that but suggesting that EVERY male friend you have has had a crush on is a sign of arrogance - have they all told you that?

    Yes please, could you say, 'I've had experiences of some of my friends liking me so I'm not sure about the idea of being able to be just friends'? I'd really appreciate that. Thanks.
    Yes. They've all told me that - otherwise I wouldnt say the word "every". Every male friend I currently have in my circle has either liked me, or still wouldnt mind a go. If it had only been some, I would use the word "some".

    Stop being so ******* picky and get over it. Mr. Word Police.
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    No they cannot. In truth "close" friends of girls who are male and not gay want to **** the girl. FACT. I should know, i'm in that position right now and it hurts so much.

    Exceptions are: Ugly women and males who are in a very strong relationship.
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    Yes. They've all told me that - otherwise I wouldnt say the word "every". Every male friend I currently have in my circle has either liked me, or still wouldnt mind a go. If it had only been some, I would use the word "some".

    Stop being so ******* picky and get over it. Mr. Word Police.
    Jeez you must be absolutely irresistible. Okay fine, I still think that not everyone enters a friendship and as a result eventually likes the friend but that might be your case.

    And well done, I'll no longer make comments on a forum after that comment, truly crushed.
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    Attitude? Saying that male friends have had feelings for her in the past, thus somewhat ******** on the whole concept of men and women being "just good friends" is an attitude?

    You men are strange. Not everyone was gonna reply with "Oh yeah, I have sooooo many friends of the opposite sex and not one wants to shag me".

    Anyone here who doesnt admit to fancying a male/female friend or having one fancy them is, to be quite honest, a fibber.
    Men are intelligent creatures. We know when a female is too full of herself. And that, to me, is incredibly unattractive.

    And sure that happens; its happened to/from me. And sure we'd let most suck us off if it came round to it; that doesn't mean we're madly in love.
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    (Original post by Nico_SU)
    Are you on crack?
    No :/ You think she's hot heh?
 
 
 
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