Turn on thread page Beta

Where am I going in my life with girls watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I actually wonder if I've got some kind of personality disorder or something, or some form of broken confidence that will simply never change or something.

    All my life I've struggled with girls. I can't really put my finger on why. But I could write a book of reasons as to why! I was brought up by being sheltered. My parents didn't encourage anything to do with girls, I ended up going to an all boys school. I never had that phase of partying through your young school years.

    Now I feel so out of place and disillusioned with girls in my life, to the point where it's probably the number 1 thing in my life that is bringing me down all the time. To cut a long story short, I feel zero confidence around girls and haven't even got the nerve to talk to girls who I find really hot. I'm not particularly concerned about my looks, or even my personality to an extent. I'm not butt ugly, I'm not a really nerdy boy that you can just tell is a but of a well, nerd. I'm just a normal guy but it just isn't happening with girls.

    But I just feel inferior to girls, like I'm not cool enough to hang out with them and party, or go out with them. University has only accentuated my thoughts and feelings about it all. All the goodlooking girls clammer together and attract all the brash, arrogant ******** guys. It's like I don't fit in with the crowd sort of thing. And if I don't find a girl physically attractive, I don't find her attractive full stop. That's not to say personality is below looks, but looks is the first stage for me.

    But I also feel like I can't relate to girls, I find them boring if I'm being honest. This is another major part I really don't get. When I talk to girls I always feel like the conversation is utterly banal or just chit chat rubbish. I was talking to one on Facebook earlier who was dissapointed that I didn't like cake, and we were talking about cake for ages, she was saying 'how can you not like cake you weirdo (joke)' and I was thinking to myself - do I really give a **** about this? I know this could seem harsh to some, but why would I want to talk about little pointless things like whether I like cake or not. I wouldn't talk to guy about cake. And this is exactly what I mean, when I'm around girls I always feel like I'm talking complete crap simply because the conversation is around banal pointless crap. I don't feel comfortable knowing what to ask girls about in regards to their hobbies either. I know what I'm going to say IS a generalisation but typically at University let's say, I just find that girls go drinking, partying, clubbing, shopping and that is it. I never hear a girl who went for a run for example. I feel like they operate around the standard things like partying and that's it. It's like I can't relate to their personalities.

    Even if you do go out on a night out, I always find the journey home can be fun sometimes. I know my guy mates sometimes get up to some funny things, a random example could be jumping in a fountain naked or jumping on a bank and all bundling ontop of one another. Sometimes after having been to a club, a strip club is definitely fun. Sometimes I might go on the Xbox when we get back and play that. You might think those things are a bit weird, but those things make for a good laugh and what it shows is that guys are up for anything so to speak. And that's it, guys can be up for a laugh like that. But what do girls do on their way home from nights out? They get taxis and don't get upto any 'fun' stuff and just usually end up going back to their place and going bed or something of that sort. I find it hard to know what girls do in their spare time if they're not working or partying or going 'for drinks'. I don't know why but it's not the same with boys, or it certainly doesn't feel that way, it just feel alot more human, alot more normal. Playing pool or snooker is another example. You can't really ask a girl if she wants to play snooker and expect a yes. And snooker technically is not a sex sport. It's a stick, and putting balls in the holes yet it's basically male orientated. Even if you had a game of snooker with a girl the whole conversation would be exactly the nightmare sort of chit chat I would hate such as 'wooo I potted a ball' and having to tell them how to aim and saying oh well done that was a good pot, when infact it was just a standard pot. Whereas if a guy mate missed a standard shot, you could say he's crap (for banter) and he wouldn't give a monkeys. Say that to a girl and it almost feels rude.

    But then it's got to be something with me because I'm the one struggling here. So I think is there some kind of brain damage I have incurred that stops me from feeling like girls are people who I enjoy the company of. I just find girls so different from boys, so hard to relate to.

    I also feel bad that I'm not in a relationship, I don't know why. I feel like I really want one, but at the same time I've got my issues like I've said with girls, and I find them very complex and difficult to be comfortable around, to know how to act and be and what to say around them.

    And it's bringing me down just about every day, seeing as I have to interact with them on a daily basis I just feel bad about myself all the time.

    Seriously, it's like my head isn't wired up the way it should be. What should I do??
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You're over complicating things. Girls are the most simplest people to understand.

    In order to understand them, you have to start thinking like a girl though..
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    I think you're just looking in the wrong places, we don't all fit that stereotype (although I do like cake!).

    Also, your name is a lie :p:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    With a username like that, you won't be getting advice from me. :haughty:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by xmarilynx)
    I think you're just looking in the wrong places, we don't all fit that stereotype (although I do like cake!).

    Also, your name is a lie :p:
    I see what you did there.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by watergold)
    With a username like that, you won't be getting advice from me. :haughty:
    and this is exactly what I mean. If a girl's username was ****_licker I wouldn't give two hoots, and nor should any other guy!

    Who gives a ****, just get over it. This is exactly what I mean, fake banal talk.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    you could try being a little more self certain. you give them to much value. most are worthless.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    down, judging by your name.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Aptly named, young sir.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by clunge_muncher)
    and this is exactly what I mean. If a girl's username was ****_licker I wouldn't give two hoots, and nor should any other guy!

    Who gives a ****, just get over it. This is exactly what I mean, fake banal talk.
    maybe you should relax and be 'more down to earth', but maybe that is your personality; if you don't like that sort of conversation, then thats just you, you know.
    • #1
    #1

    Girls are easy to figure out, they all have low self asteem regardless of how pretty they are they always think another girl is better, all you need to is go around complementing girls, every woman likes a compliment regardless if they are interetsed or not, the more you do it the more charismatic essence you will get to yourself.

    Don't be like one of those idiots who wait out clubs and get rejected by 40 girls before 1 slapper says yes, such as noc0ntrol does.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    nah
    It just seams like your ignorant.

    Just because you dont think they're attactive you wont talk to them? you could try talking to a girl for friendship.. till you learn how remakable the topic and cake can be.

    but anyway.. girls arnt something you should wrap up in cottonwool.. we like banter.. we like running because it keeps the weight down and I know plenty of girls that play pool... and in spare time, girls can even play the xbox wow right?

    I think you should talk to more different girls ( even ones you dont thnk are pretty) you might find they arnt boring


    Just to add on the end. You need a new username..
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Tazzied)
    nah
    It just seams like your ignorant.

    Just because you dont think they're attactive you wont talk to them? you could try talking to a girl for friendship.. till you learn how remakable the topic and cake can be.

    but anyway.. girls arnt something you should wrap up in cottonwool.. we like banter.. we like running because it keeps the weight down and I know plenty of girls that play pool... and in spare time, girls can even play the xbox wow right?

    I think you should talk to more different girls ( even ones you dont thnk are pretty) you might find they arnt boring


    Just to add on the end. You need a new username..
    Let's not play games here. Girls do not play pool, Xbox, go running, have a genuine interest in main sports such as football, cricket, rugby.

    Honestly when I talk to unattractive girls I just sit there bored and end up chatting very nicey nicey sort of topics, such as cake.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    im not being nasty or anything but whilst reading your post i laughed a few times, especially about the cake thing, just liven up and have a banter with the girl lol, make fun of her..

    also you need to more positive, first step is to get yourself involved in things were you would meet girls, just talk to them, even if you dont find them attractive, the more girls you talk to , the less you will feel like you do now, just be friendly and smile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    I didn't even read that post but I can quite confidently say you're going nowhere
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    :rofl:

    What's wrong with cake?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Don't act like males and females are different species. Your going to end up gay.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by clunge_muncher)
    Let's not play games here. Girls do not play pool, Xbox, go running, have a genuine interest in main sports such as football, cricket, rugby.

    Honestly when I talk to unattractive girls I just sit there bored and end up chatting very nicey nicey sort of topics, such as cake.
    yes they do.. maybe not your 'type' whcih ill hazard a guess is the fake tanned blonde, but alot do.

    Grow a backbone then and learn how to control a conversaton.

    You make it alot easier on yourself and date a guy?

    And there is nothing wrong with talking about cake!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Cakes is a topic of conversation in itself.. theres sponge cake, toffee cake, banofee cake, tiramisu ... I love cooking
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by dannyscott7)
    im not being nasty or anything but whilst reading your post i laughed a few times, especially about the cake thing, just liven up and have a banter with the girl lol, make fun of her..

    also you need to more positive, first step is to get yourself involved in things were you would meet girls, just talk to them, even if you dont find them attractive, the more girls you talk to , the less you will feel like you do now, just be friendly and smile
    And that is something else - that isn't happening. I just come out of it feeling bad and so why put myself through it yet again?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 26, 2010
The home of Results and Clearing

3,750

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.